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Small issue but need your help..

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by klniha, Jan 13, 2014.

  1. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    For the longest time, I was not comfortable driving to the airport, whether picking up the person at the curb or parking and going inside the terminal. Having a child in the backseat would make me even more nervous.

    One more thing is that your BIL taking a cab will go down in history as 'your DH was busy so...'. If you get food from outside or go out to eat the first time your BIL is visiting, the reason behind it won't be remembered.

    My DH never made fun of my discomfort in driving in some areas. He knows there are some things he cannot do - such as after working a whole day, come home in the evening and make dinner for guest while also handling toddler.

    If, like Ansuya says, no welcome party at the airport is a mortal sin, take a cab both ways.

    Aside from this, why so much hesitation to tell husband that you are nervous about driving to airport?

    It is not rude to tell your DH to tell BIL to take a cab that day. Even better, don't mention the cab, just say you are not comfortable driving with toddler. Let the cab option present itself, don't be the messenger of that.
     
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  2. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    How about the husband cancel the commitment and pick up his own brother from the airport?
     
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  3. Ansuya

    Ansuya Platinum IL'ite

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    How dare you! The wife is "just" staying at home, "just" taking care of the baby, "just" cooking or getting take-out, "just" driving (in possibly bad weather) when she is anxious about it, and "just" pottering about the house, like all us lazy SAHMs do. She should "just" man up and do what is expected of her.

    After all, what is some driving anxiety and child safety/comfort when compared to the richest blessings that is showered upon us when we perform symbolic gestures like making sure that grownups make it safely home, without those grownups having to suffer a moment's loneliness or the burden of self-sufficiency.
     
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  4. Rise

    Rise Platinum IL'ite

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    Take a cab both ways , no need to mention to ur DH if u cant do so... on the day.. take a cab both ways... wen DH ask why u didnt drive... just tell him kid wasnt in good mood or bad weather...... if dh has no time for his own bro-- he need not expect you to be givin in ur fears and do the unexpected....Whatever take a cab both ways solves it
     
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  5. tashidelek2002

    tashidelek2002 IL Hall of Fame

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    Well, if the brother is coming from some location in the States, he could also rent a car at the airport. Isn't there some factor in here on whether this is his first trip or whether he has lived in US for decades?
     
  6. racr

    racr Platinum IL'ite

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    Klniha,
    Whatever we all say,at the end of the day,you are the one who has to convey it to your hubby! If you can't get yourself to tell your H about this,what can be done?

    A point to be considered - I don't know where your BIL is flying in from,but flights are getting cancelled/delayed left,right,centre due to the inclement weather conditions. If the flight is delayed for 2-3 hours,and if it's an international flight(meaning immigration formalities to be completed),do you think he'll be out before 7 p.m.? What about your poor kid?Does your son also have to suffer along with you?Your DH might frown upon your not providing chauffeur driven service,but I'm sure he would be more considerate of his son's discomfort.

    All the above is secondary..first is safety.You are responsible for yourself,your son and your BIL's safety on the road.Please keep that in mind.
     
  7. my2angels

    my2angels Silver IL'ite

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    OP

    I just have a question.

    Instead of the BIL, if it was your own brother, would you ask him to take a cab? If the answer is YES, then hell yes ask the BIL to take a cab and come to your place.

    Problem solved..

    I think if the BIL is sensible enough he would offer himself to come by cab. Not sure which part of the world or US you are in. But don't get me wrong. The fact that you started this thread makes me think that you are looking for good excuse not to pick him up from the airport.

    Someone mentioned about weather. Now would you not want to make sure that a family member ( if you consider him your family member) would make safely tto your home. I am not sure how the dynamics are in your home. Do you want this small incident to haunt you for the rest of your life. The inlaws may get a reason to taunt you and your husband will also get a reason to taunt you. Again I do not know how understanding your inlaws and husband/BIL are.

    I would drop kid to a friends place so that he does not suffer in all this. Sometimes it is better to be safe and not give anyone any reasons to point fingers at you. I have learnt that in my own life.

    All the best
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2014
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  8. sweetypi

    sweetypi Platinum IL'ite

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    Has it occurred to you that it is easier to convey one's difficulties to a sibling ? It works both ways, you know, so the husband who messed up dates and is now expecting his wife to make up for it, should convey their problem to the brother.
    Was it necessary to make insinuations here ?

    thinkingsmiley
     
  9. my2angels

    my2angels Silver IL'ite

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    I don't think she is stay at home mom. She has mentioned in the first post that she is also working on the day at the arrival.

    But anyway he is "just" a BIL. Who cares !!
     
  10. my2angels

    my2angels Silver IL'ite

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    I am just looking at the pros and cons. Please read my post again. I made some changes. I am just thinking about the after effects of this small issue if she does not pick the BIL up. She is the best judge of the scenario. What we can do is just suggest her.

    I would take a cab to pick him up as someone mentioned if she is not confident about driving to the airport and keep the kid at a friends place. Not sure if she drives to her work or takes public transport. I would suggest the OP to practice driving more so that she can be a good driver for such future endeavors.
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2014

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