Should I go? Please Please Help me

u a sister and need to attend this important event of his life... just go attend and keep ur emotions inside and come back... finish ur responsibility..... nothing harm in it one day they situations will come to normal don't worry

 

Hi Emal,

The reality is that you are no more a part of your parents home.
After marriage, you are part of your husband's family. You need to give more importance to your husband's family as there is enough people to look after your parents. Think and decide.

 

OP if your health permits, you can go. Afterall they are your family, mom daughter fighting dont last for long. They may change their views after seeing your child. Its a different story if they dont show interest in your visit, but now they are inviting you, so you can give them a chance. Then, its just a vacation for you. Enjoy it.

 

I tend to be more practical than sentimental, so be aware that my advice will always tend toward the former.

I think even if you had a great relationship with your family, you would be well within your rights not to attend a wedding if it was something that was difficult for you, especially with a new baby.

Given the way your family treats you, it seems more than acceptable for you to make up your mind (as opposed to bowing to tradition, culture, family pressure, societal expectations, and all those other wonderful things) as to whether you want to go or not.

After all, it will be you who will be bearing the brunt of the burden of traveling/acclimatising with your baby (wedding occasions are not known for their calmness, peace, ease, convenience, etc.), and also bearing the brunt of whatever "loving" attention your family decides to shower upon you (weddings tend also to not bring out the best - to say the least - in families who are already at war).

This only becomes an issue if and when people decide to make it an issue. True love and affection includes CONSIDERATION for the wants, needs, and comfort of loved ones. Your not attending the wedding might cause some "symbolic" discomfort (the famous Indian rallying cry to arms, "What will the people say?"). But your attending the wedding is likely to cause very real stress and severe adjustment issues for you and your baby.

Lastly, my sister and father did not attend my wedding in India due to work/personal reasons. Everyone STILL lived happily ever after. They saw the pictures and met my husband afterwards.

You will be the best judge of whose needs are more important here. My vote would be for baby (and, by proxy, you).

 

Don't go.

1. You don't seem to have good relationship with your parents. Usually, weddings are occasions where people display their love via gifts. Right now, your mind is not in a state to think rationally. Your baby is still new born. You are sleep deprived. You neither have time nor food to eat. You had a surgery. Very difficult stage. It seems like your mother makes it a point to hurt you. Such mothers exist by the way. I am not surprised. For your own peace of mind, don't go.

2. Your new born - It may not be advisable for the child to be exposed to such huge crowds at once who all want to touch the kid. Your pediatrician perhaps is at a place where you live. Before 3 months, baby getting fever is quite serious issue. You may not want to deal with it.

As the wedding happens, you might feel even more lonely and left out. But remember that you chose not to go for your sake and your child's sake. Once the baby reaches 6 months at least, you may consider visiting new SIL.

 

These little cold wars would fade in due course, never mind. Take care of your health first. Please travel only if your health permits. Do not put your baby and health at stake. If you really sure that you can patch and this travel is worth it, then go ahead. Or if you have a gut feeling that you gonna end up wiping tears all the time, then think twice on the travel.

 

Please travel only if ur health permits. what did ur hubby say? it is better if u go according to his wish.