The (im)purity of having your period...I just don't get it

My parents never enforced any of this upon me. They were never religious to begin with. I got to know much later when I started living in a hostel that such beliefs exist! Even women don't spare one another.

My mil believes in not going to the temple. But not the head bath and other things.

For OP I would suggest that make your husband understand the science behind periods. If a woman does not have periods then she may have problems conceiving. So women are actually pure when they have periods...don't know what I am writing...

 

Rose8282, Actually in some families , whenever such "deeds" are done , the woman is expected to have a head bath .Again here not the man.And the woman used to be teased so openly by other women (as headbath indicates something happenned prev night).

Looks like the OP did not login after this query.

Why are we failing/scared to acknowledge that we have a flaw in our system?While I can understand giving rest to the woman those days , why should she be considered "impure"?And we are indirectly supporting this saying it is a traditional and religious thing.I think this is one of the reason why anyone (including the politicians) can get away using the weapon "religion".I think women are not allowed to lit lamps and do pujas because they might be generally "irritated" those days due to harmonal changes and pujas are suppose to be performed with free mind??????Just guessing.May be this got twisted in the long run.Whatever may be the case , it is so demeaning and unintellectual to say that women become impure those days.And it feels so uncomfortable that every men around us would know our private matter.

OP, Hair wash is a good thing to do(I believe..may not be true).Why don't you treat it as a chore?It cools your body and is good to do so during periods(My mom used to force me to take headbath since she was scared that I might end up having pimples.She never ever in her lifetime told me that I become impure.Infact she is one woman who hates people saying that).Other than that whatever you want to do is upto you as it might cost you a lot.But it is better that you make your hubby realize that education is suppose to refine and make a person better and not to follow something blindly.And as a mother it is your duty to protect your daughter and teach her the values.My mom has fought a lot for us and she was termed "arrogant" "non-adjustive" "headstrong"and what not.But she was determined about a lot of things which she wanted to do for us.Things are getting better and it would be even better when your daughter grows up.Don't worry so much on this.

Remember , when sati and other things like shaving the head of a widow and forcing her into p*******n and atrocities happenned , there were people who always told the women to adjust as it is a tradition followed for years.I know a lot of you would say not bring these things for such trivial issue.But for me even this is as bad as those issues.Just my honest opinion.

 

Buddy,


See its not discrimination.During mensus womens body undergo a lot of changes mentally and physically and so they need to in rest and that's y older people have kept this system to be islolated.... one way favouring a relaxed mensus time....

And to your point of religious husband is that what he does is correct.... During this time ..... Mantras have a great energy(probably u will know when divine power is connected) When poojas are done they create energy levels inside home and the person chanting.... And while menstruating also bad blood goes out and you get a cleaned of the reproductive system and again the cycle starts..... During this time mantras should not be chanted and be clean because of the HIGH ENERGY LEVELS.....


Everything has been given for a reason....Just stay away during that time.... Its not discrimination

 

Actually these days people take haedbaths very often. You have hailed from more complicatd situation to less complicated place.If that's the only thing your husband asking for it then you shouldn't worry much.

 

Exactly. Why should rest be enforced in the name of religion. If she wants to take rest, let it be on her own account. If we feel irritated, we will ourselves step back. We talk about equality for women but we are the ones to be blamed because we do not know the true sense of it and believe in age old customs and pacify her saying that it is a small issue. First of all we go through delivery pains, young girls have to adjust to the new concept of having menstrual flow every month and to top it all, they are isolated as if they are some untouchable. Nothing wrong in having head bath...but it's my head...I will take it when I feel like, not for your prayers. It's not a small thing...just like the OP said, it sets the tone for her daughter. Should her daughter feel the same...that its wrong to be a girl? No wonder people don't want girls. There was an old movie in Telugu where tables were turned and women behaved like men and all the men had to go through what women do. Seriously, if this happened once, men and women would realize what a women feels.

 

Hasn't the anti-superstition bill been passed just recently? Does it cover regular superstitions nonsense like these?

 

I have been trying to get this image out of my head, but I can't. I even took a brisk walk yesterday to think of something else, but ended up chuckling maniacally to myself as this image flashed through my mind (much to the consternation of the other, more mature walkers). Rose, this is for you... forgive me, the rest of you, especially OP.

Scene: It is midnight. Wife lies back on rumpled bed, with a smug, satisfied smile on her face. Husband is seen rushing to the bathroom, where sounds of thorough "headbath" ensue. MIL is heard exclaiming, "Arre! What this fellow is having headbath again? Three times today already!"

 

Ansuya, the way you narrated it was so dramatic! Lol!:rotfl