To keep trying or time to leave? :( Ladies is there any happiness after divorce?

Hi Everyone,

I have posted some threads on this forum in the last few months detailing the problems I m having with my husband. Basically my husband was of very suspicious nature before marriage and he contacted a guy I dated in the past who lied to him and told him bad things about the kind of relationship me and him had (which was basically nothing!). My husband went into depression before marriage but by that time I really loved him and belived he would let go of the past (as it wasnt even true) and he promised he would.

Now it has been 1 year 3 months since we have been married and he is still unwilling to let go of it. Whether I am talking about watermelon or swimming he will find a way to link it to the past - which I have learnt to deal with now. BUT in the past year my relationship with my inlaws has completely been destroyed after we moved out of joint family as we weren't getting along. Now I am completely cut off from them and instead of trying to fix our marriage my husband wants to go stay every weekend at his parents home (alone as I have been uninvited in their home now and he wants to keep his family separate from me) and plays cricket on the other day. BASICALLY my life has become hell as the day he comes back from his parents house he will fight with me...we will fight when he says he is going there for the weekend - we are both engineers and have a hectic week...I expect we will do something together in the weeknd - else why even stay married ?? He IS trying to make an improvement a little bit...but when I say improvement....that means when i go to work and say 'Bye' he responds properly and says bye...when I call him he'll pick up and answer...after dinner he will sit and watch a movie together (on weeknights) - small things that every couple takes for granted...these things are HUGE gestures of him ''trying'' in my relationship.

I'm sorry I know I am rambling but I just want to scream and wish I could run away form my life...I don't know how to fix him. I think he has a mental illness that he got depression and is still caught up on someting some random guy said which is all lies..... I really wish I was strong enough to walk away and slap a divorce in his face but some part of me keeps thinking (wishing and begging) that with time things will fix.

Do you guys, especially those who have read my other threads think there is any hope. I really admire those of you who have had the courage to walk away from a loveless unhappy marriage. I don't know if I lack confidence or what because why am I unable to do it. I am living in Canada...and even girls in India are not worried aobut society or remarriage. Most girls that I know who are divorced are all remarried. (No, I am not worried about finding another guy right now...but ofcourse in the future I want to have a family). I am now 26...I was 24 when I got married. I am wasting the most crutial years of my life..my parents are so mentally exhausted and I feel so bad that they are going through this pain too. They are not worried about society and care only about my happiness. They tell me to leave or else I will become mentally ill too but I'm not able to...so they are also supporting me in trying to work it out. BUT every time before a weekend when things seem to be getting better we have a fight as he wants to go spend the weekend at his parents. He needs to know his parents are not running away anywhere...but our marriage is about to break up - but he is never willing to discuss our marriage.

My mind becomes numb when I think of my marriage. I just started a new job and am fully concentrating in that when I am at work and blocking him out of my mind. I am also on my way to reaching my pre wedding weight...these two are my goals right now to get him out of my mind. But evenings are torturous. What should I do? If there is anyone who chose to walk away, can you tell me if you are happy now?? I hate the uncertainity of not knowing what will happen after I leave. What if I never fill my dream of having a family/kids? :'(