Mother encourages discrimination in the family

It is very common. Divide and rule policy. Withholding love to make kid desperate and "buy" their approval.

 

you make him feel loved, make sure you are always there for him. and train your kids in future also to do so.

there is nothing ,more i can tell you because, you cannot force somebody to love you.

this is common in most families, unfortunately in your case your DH is the victim.

try not to make this look obvious in front of your hubby, as this will hurt him. and try to reassure him always, even if you think otherwise, that they love hom alot.

 

I have never seen or heard about it though every parent has a fav child. Some people rather expect elder brothers to help or take responsibility or want brothers to do for sisters.

I never thought that people could do it for younger one...do you see any motive behind it..there got to be some reasoning..

Divide and rule wont work coz in this case if wife wants its very easy for her to manipulate the situation and live separately. Even she can make husband to demand love even she can directly say her hubby is not loved etc...it totally depends on her.

Try to focus on the motive...even if you don't find one then express that you feel that your hubby is not preffered.

 

I am witnessing it :-( I have asked too many times on why this discrimination, they keep saying that no discrimination but continue doing it..
Mostly these princes will be born after a girl. So the mom who longs for a baby boy finds this baby boy a special one and continues no matter how many sons are born after that :-( The saddest part is the second/last son trying to please his mom 24/7 :-(
According these mothers first son is for her happiness, the next son is to support the first son in everything :-( May be not told in words, their actions says so ;-)
In Tamil there is a proverb which roughly means " Instead of being born as a last kid, better to be born as a donkey" The comparison here is to the donkey because it carries the master's burden
In the cases I have seen either fathers seem unbiased or cares for daughters more as usual

 

Reading all this, I dont know what to say or think. MIL torturing DIL is still understandable (not acceptable just understandable) but a mother discriminating between children is hard to grasp:confused2:

 

Is your husband aware of this discrimination? Is he able to see that he is being discriminated against? How does he feel about it? And do you live with ILs?

 

Dont worry, You will get used to it My H sees it as his mom's immaturity!! And according to him no matter how the other person is to you, you should do your duty as a son/brother. It was initially tough for me to digest. Now I have become like him. Just do your duty, do not expect even acknowledgement in return ;-)

It was very difficult for me during a phasewhen my H was struggling to win his mom. I was a victime on several occasions. Now my H doesn't wants to please them instead do the duty of a son perfectly.. Like you we also stay in different place, it used to be hard when both the families are there... now I avoid going there when his bro or his family visits my in-laws

 

I would've said the same before marriage
Now God has given me the opportunity to live with most types of people Ignorance is not a bliss anymore in this current era ;-) Thats how I see. Learning the skill of surviving among the toughest/meanest how ever we can call.