Competetive and Jealous SIL

Re: Lousy BS SIL !

Reading your post felt like reading my own SIL and me story. 95% SILs are like that. My FIL has to keeps telling how to dress conservatively to me. But his own daughter goes around the world in jeans and tops. She doesnt dress suggestively . Thank God for that. She is not that good looking . But feels like she is aishwarya rai and me very ugly that she fathoms looking at me. In my in laws place nobody is that good looking. The definition fair is only from me and my MIL. MIL doesnt have good features to go with that. I may not be very good looking but I do stand out as good looking in my husbands family.Anyway I live in US. But my husband has specifically mentioned to me that when ever i am with my in laws i shud be dressed traditionally in a saree or chudidar. I do that to keep my husband happy. Not that i wud go around wearing shorts in front of my in laws. I am not that stupid. Anyway my SIL when i am there has to parade around in jeans and tops to any and every visit to my parents or going out. She lives in india. But she has to describe US weather to me. Moreover she is always very unhappy when meeting me. When given a chance she keeps telling my husband how i am a mismatch to him. Once i overheard the same on phone and gave her back. Glad I did. She talks to my husband but i keep my distance.She feels like everybody bows down to her in my in laws place,I should also do the same. I didnt do it from before and now she keeps telling my husband to come back.SILs who are like this are very insecure and feel like any girl married to their brothers are a mismatch and keep widening the gap b/n husband and wife .

 

Re: Lousy BS SIL !

Hi Ladies,

Please do not take me wrong. But I feel that dress sense is a very flimsy thing to have a grudge against a SIL. I think you are over reacting. What is the big deal !!!! What is there to be ultra competitive in dressing. There are better things in life to compete.

Kavya.

 

Re: Lousy BS SIL !

Hi, i really would like to share my experience with you. My Sil (husb's sister) comes over and watches everyhting, she listens, observes and takes it all in, then when she goes back to her place she reports everything to her mom (my MIL). My ils' don;t live here, but sil lives one hour away. my sil is crazy!! and yes she is very competitive, not really for clothes, but for purses, shoes hairdo's etc! Also, she is very whiny with her brother (my husb) she calls and remind him to call their parents, do this, do that, even buy stuff for her son....she is at home all day, i think she has more time then my husb! Also whenver she invites us to her house, she will call her brother on his cell and ask us to come, she never calls my house (to talk to me,a nd ask me!)....but i have to go, otherwise husb blames me! ibonkbonkI am so nice to my bro;s wife, becasue i want to see me brother happy, why can;t my sil do this for her brother ?? i don;t get it ! my mil always says how close her children (my husb and sil) are, but if they were close, they should help each other have a happy life, not contribute to the misery!! my sil trys to play part of mil , she sits and doens;t help, so wants to see/know evrything. well now i know her games, so i keepmy distance, but i am respectful, so husb sees i am trying! good luck ladies!
sash:iagree

 

Re: Lousy BS SIL !

Dear soccermom,

I can clearly understand wht u r trying to tell.
Even I have a sil and guess what i have so many things i want to vent out.

My Sil has short hair while i have gud long (not v long but decent length) hair.
So this is a big big constraint in my in laws place.To the extent my MIL started telling me that i look like a village dumbo even if i stay at US.Then she started insisting that i cut my hair.mg: I got so scared!!! Every time I comb my hair my MIL says come I shall take u now and get ur hair cut.I was scared the hell out...
Coming to clothes....this is such a stupid incident being made a big big issue at my in laws place.I am for the first time telling this to anybody.
My SIL had given me few of her used old clothes for me to use.Few were even smelling of sweat.So i returned them,for this such a scene was created at my in laws place,girls u wont believe it.
My mil screaming that i have insulted her daughter and her by returning the used clothes (should it not be the other way round.common sense says she insulted me by giving her used clothes).
I was so shocked by these experiences that till now i am not out of itshakehead
This is my side of the story.
Friends i am just venting out and am not trying to offend anybody nor trying to debate ...

 

Re: Lousy BS SIL !

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. So what if she thinks she's Aishwarya Rai? I hate this desi mentality that you HAVE to be fair to be considered beautiful. Not true. As long as she is not parading around naked, you shouldn't be saying / thinking anything. At least she's not wearing revealing / suggestive clothes like soccermom's SIL - there's nothing wrong in parading around in jeans & T-shirt.

Now, you definitely have a problem when it comes to your FIL lecturing to you. But if you live in the US, why do you care? Let the old man blabber on... turn off your ears and let his preachings fall on deaf ones. I definitely agree that you should blast your SIL if she bitches about you to her brother but you can't judge how she dresses / thinks / acts if that doesn't affect you.

 

Re: Lousy BS SIL !

In a nutshell, my SIL (husband's sister) is a know-it-all who does not KNOW when to keep her mouth shut and when to open it. Enough said!

 

Re: Lousy BS SIL !

First of all let me tell you,I do not consider being fair as beautiful. And being dark as ugly. I feel a person can be good looking without being fair. Coming to my SIL ,let me clarify,she can parade around in jeans and tops . But when i do it in my parents house or in photos sent from here to India,she has to prove i am a dimwit and blast her brother for that. She makes it a point to prove in every meeting that i dont deserve anything i am getting. I dont care for her dress sense if not for double standards. She and my Fil has to show me and tell me to dress conservatively when in india or here. If left to their choice i shud be always having my hair full of oil and in faded clothes .their only concern is my husband is supposed to detest looking at me all the time and they enjoy the show. When meeting elders my fil has loads of advice on how to dress even to dils(hate fils doing it)but when it comes to daughter he doesnt say anything if she meets my parents or any elders in jeans. You know to keep my husband's words even when i have come to US from India in cold snowy months i wear salwar kameez and 2-3 sweaters.
She has also many times tried to nearly end my marriage after talking to my husband. It doesnt start or end with jeans or tops.

 

Re: Lousy BS SIL !

Well, since you said that the definition "fair" applies only to you & MIL, it certainly seemed as if you were ridiculing her for being dark complexioned. I objected to that.

Yes, your SIL & FIL are paragons of double standards. Why don't you just ask them straight out about why your SIL is parading around in jeans & T-shitrt when they are preaching to YOU how to dress? I have learned to question my inlaws' BS as and when they occur and it shuts them up. If you question this double standards once, then I can guarantee you that it won't happen again.

Moreover, you are clearly emerging the winner here because you are still married to her brother despite her dim-witted efforts to ruin your marriage. You are having the last laugh, after all!