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married life is not happy now

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by maria27, Feb 4, 2012.

  1. maria27

    maria27 New IL'ite

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    the communication with me and my husband is not good...so instead of talking straight to him..i sent a email telling my current problems and distrubances that my ex is creating...

    dh came to me and said...these are the words of my dh...if u want to take legal actions i'm with u..but u have to think about the process we are going to go through...but again police will ask each and every details about ur past life. they will ask the evidances...somehow u will be forced to open up ur past life before cops. remember this is the life i'm trying to forget..it doesn't stop with this. if the police registers a case, your ex will definately counter the case with the help of lawyer. futher we have to spend a lot of our savings for this..my parents and ur parents will come to know about this. then the probablity of saving the marriage will be less. at the most the court will give him a imprisonemt only for 4 years..putting him in jail is going to do any good for us.he should change his attitude..see both of us have to police station and stand there and go to court..see lawyer..even if we do this, ur ex is not going to change his actions. my advice is to just ignore him. we can apply and get a new land phone number. once he finds a girl to marry,,he won' be thinking about u.then he has his own problems..so my advice is to ignore him gentely...the decision is urs if u want to go to police, i'm with u..

    ladies i personally feel to do as i husband said..but at the same time i want my ex to be punished..my decision is based on urs..
     
  2. tanoshii

    tanoshii Platinum IL'ite

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    Mary,

    I'd go by what your husband suggested. Your Ex does not call your mobile after you changed the number right?
    If your husband is willing to change the home number too, just do it. Make sure its not listed though. Just pass on the number to those who you think might need it. And if possible, just apply for the number recording facility. In case he tries to get in touch with you again, you'll know what number(s) to block.

    Its really good that your husband is willing to work this much to keep the marriage from derailing altogether. If your Ex comes back with more trouble, then you'll know what to do. Like SSC mentioned, report him as a nuisance. Your husband is with you, so think and take the decision that would suit you both.
     
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  3. injustice

    injustice Bronze IL'ite

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    Hey,
    I am so sorry for your situation.
    But dont worry .looks like your husband is really so supportive and also very good guy. He is right in this ituation so give him time. Let he takes time.

    Everything will be allright.

    I pray god for you.
     
  4. injustice

    injustice Bronze IL'ite

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    Hey i go woth your husband decision.
    Betetr youc ha ge your address and phone num if possible place too.
    I really respect your husband very understandable husband.
    Youa re so lucky to have him.
     
  5. bukbuk

    bukbuk Silver IL'ite

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    Hello OP, pls complain to police. I don't think this issue will end by changing the phone numbers. Are you ready to change your residence as well? And leave the town ? If your ex thinks he's Shahrukh Khan and you are Juhi Chawla, he will follow you there as well. If you complain to Police, they won't ask you details of your physical relationship with him. You just need to tell them he's harassing you and file a complaint that's all. Ask them to give him a warning. Do yourself a favor by not giving scope for more drama.
     
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  6. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    Its exactly this fear that most blackmailers and abusers cash in on. Dont be scared. I very much doubt a guy this mean will just vanish into nothingness after a while. If u dont put an end to this he will figure out more ways to interfere in your life. What is the gaurantee he wont start emailing ur friends or writing nasty things about u else where? Call the police.
     
  7. Reflection123

    Reflection123 New IL'ite

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    I will say change your phone number first. I am not trying to scare you...but India is not the best country to feel 100% secure with police who seeks bribe from all parties involved. You must first ask your husband to call up and scold this guy..and threaten him of a police complaint in strong words. If he doesn't stop change your number....if he still doesn't stop take help from police.

    Your husband is a good guy for sure..who does not want any complications in his or your life. I think you should communicate with him more and more. Tell him you are innocent...and loyal, and would never cheat him. If he is unwilling to listen....leave it for a while ..try again....don't stop the flow of communication. Don't fight..but communicate.
     
  8. SSC

    SSC Platinum IL'ite

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    Maria,
    Think about this yourself. Yesterday, the cheapo of an ex, held your photos, and asked you for money. Today he is calling you and taking away your mental peace. Tomorrow its something else. There will always be something else, as long as u keep running away from him. Dont use temporary solutions to run away. Well, you along with your H, can meet him and give him a warning that you will go to the cops if matters get worse. That might give him the idea, that you are ready to use the right means, and he might back off. Otherwise, the only way to get out of this situation 'permanently', is to take the legal route out!
     
  9. poojachinoy

    poojachinoy Gold IL'ite

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    hey,hope u r doing well...your past is past...just because your past came out of the closet,dosent mean all the other people around are saints...you have been loyal to your husband after marriage and that is what matters...and you husband too realizes this,thats why he is not taking any drastic measures.

    i would never suggest any lady to confront about her past infront of her husband either before or after marriage...sometimes ignorance is bliss,both ways...but since now your husband knows about it(sadly,through your ex),its better for you to go and say him a heartfelt sorry..look him in the eye,and tell him that its him you love and you are his wife...apologize for your past and your ex's misdoings.give him time to heal...your husband really loves you...because you dont even have a kid,but still he wants to work on this marriage..mostly men,dont even want to make a marriage work even when kids are involved..so its your husbands sole descision that he wants to stay with you,without any biased descisions if kids were involved...

    so now its your turn to reciprocate his love through respect...respect his space and time...let him be on his own...give him time and he will definately come back...you have to have patience in this..i know its going to be difficult..but you have to do it!..and DO NOT GO TO YOUR PARENTS PLACE!..fight it out from your own place!

    coming to the guy,i know of a personal similar case where in my relative in question had undergone..after her engagement the ex started harassing her and called up her future inlaws and husband and said lewd things about her..but this girl,denied it all and said he was a crook(i dont know if what she did was right,but yea it sure helped her out)....they filed a police complaint and he stopped after that.....so,i would suggest you to involve the police..because after seeing your husband supporting you,he mite be a threat to your husbands life and yours,god forbids!..i wouldnt underestimate his capabilities..first change your landline number..if the calls dont stop,then call the police asap!!!!!! keep a watch out for him if he is lingering in your colony infront of your house...stop getting bullied by him...if you file a police case he will back out,for sure,because i believe even he has a family..if he has his mom and sisters then its like an icing on the cake..he will fear for his sisters marriages and their future..he will not retaliate back by filing a case against you guyz,most probably!

    start collecting proof,by having a caller id installed and also getting your calls recorded in case you will need it!

    yes,dont involve your inlaws...it might affect your husbands descision making abilities...
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2012
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  10. raji2678

    raji2678 Gold IL'ite

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    I have a suggestions : Try to talk to some close family members of your ex, like parents or sister, and tell them how much trouble he is causing you. On a lighter note, why don't you hire some local goons to beat him up?
     

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