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married life is not happy now

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by maria27, Feb 4, 2012.

  1. Vijaya@17

    Vijaya@17 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Maria

    First of all feel happy you did not marry this guy who has shown that he is so low in his character. What did he achieve in spoiling your life altogether.

    You need to get the trust of your husband back. Please take one step at a time. Try to talk to your husband and first of all tell him sorry for all this. You were in a vulnerable situation and did not know what is right or wrong. But now I realize and am totally committed to my marriage. Please forgive me. This is going to take some time but be patient and never try to justify at any time, as becoming weak without realising the person was not right. Act in a matured way and assure to your husband that you have no connection with this EX whatsoever.

    Best Wishes
     
  2. maria27

    maria27 New IL'ite

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    thank u ladies....i'm waiting for him talk to me...what step should i take now?

    my uncle and his son visited my home yesterday..my hubby was behaving normally with them...he was chatting with my uncles son about his job...finally they left the home by evening...

    he is behaving normally with all others...why can't he talk to me?
     
  3. lovelyheart17

    lovelyheart17 Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi maria,

    i can understand ur situation.try to be brave in this stage.Never try to make mistake of calling your ex regarding what has happened.

    Try to speak to your husband and ask him what ahs happend.tell him the truth dont try to defeat your self by telling excuses.

    give him some time to understand your love towards him.

    wait and see what will happen .keep trust in god
     
  4. tanoshii

    tanoshii Platinum IL'ite

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    Its again a very nice thing he did, respecting your relatives and not drag in the current situation between you two in front of them. That is a really sweet and mature quality in him. So give him time and pour yourself out when he is prepared to listen. Until then, have loads of patience honey :) It will all be worth it soon.
     
  5. DesireQuench

    DesireQuench New IL'ite

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    Trust lost once is very difficult to get back. Lets accept this fact. In your case, it would definitely take time 4 ur husband to come over that fact. Only time has to heal your situation, but till then you'll have to hold on your patience. When he is gud enough, to maintain what he is with all others except with you, then I'm sure he'll definitely understand that this is not an act of infidelity, but a victim of bad time.
     
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  6. mansimahi

    mansimahi Gold IL'ite

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    hi maria.... like everyone has said..give your husband some time... he seems to be a really nice, decent and a mature person. Although he knows that whatever happened cannot be undone, he needs time to come to terms with it. Since he is not ready to talk about it.... i suggest you write an email or a note ...where you can express everything you feel.... pour out your heart..make him understand that you were a victim in the hands of that cretin!!

    Your ex is such a lowlife and beneath contempt... come what may...dont talk to him for whatever reason in the absence of your husband... thank your lucky stars that you are through with him and have the gem of a husband now.... and be patient and soon everything will be alright
     
  7. abcdguy

    abcdguy Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Maria,

    Your husband is pretty upset, and as a man I understand why. If my fiance's ex-bf called me and told me in excruciating detail what happened in the past, I would probably be so upset I would vomit. In the US, it is common for women and men to have physical relationships without any desire to have a future (marriage). In India, I am not sure that is always the case? Women need to understand this 'cold reality' before they engage in certain actions, as they can be very very detrimental to the relationship.

    In your case, I think your husband is really upset. Depending on what was said, you might end up getting a divorce, if the details were very graphic and he is not able to deal with the whole story. Its one thing to say 'I lost my virginity to my ex-bf' and another thing to DETAIL the specifics. OUCH! I would just let him be pissed and see what happens next.

    GOod Luck


     
  8. abcdguy

    abcdguy Silver IL'ite

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    Tanoshii,

    How is he being LOW? He has every right to call and speak to who he wishes. Its a free country after all.

    ABCDGUY


     
  9. abcdguy

    abcdguy Silver IL'ite

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    Azeala,

    Her ex-bf has every right to contact who ever he or she wants. In this case, he choose to communicate with Maria's current husband. Maria chose to act in a certain way in her past, and now she has to deal with what ever consequences that will come from it.

    Lets be honest, while you can tell your husband about the PAST, there are still LIMITS of how much detail you provide. You are almost blaming her for not telling her husband the truth. The fact of the matter is, no one here has told their husband the exact details of their past relationship. They are hurtful to hear! Its one thing to say, I lost my virginity, its another thing to detail the actual process.

    ABCDGUY



     
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  10. blessbabydust

    blessbabydust IL Hall of Fame

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    Maria27 you should be so grateful that you never married that low character guy ..... who goes and spoil the life of a married girl .... My suggestion is never contact your ex ... be patience .... go and ask your husband why he isnot talking .... write a letter telling him how much you love and the marriage is important ... physical relationship is only a pleasure for 30 secs but real realtionship is so much important ... make him understand ... give him sometime too
     

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