parents having different mothertongue

Hi Asks,

Don't worry so much! It is in fact good for children to be exposed to different languages from childhood. It makes them good linguists and later on makes it easier for them to pick up new languages.

My husband and I share the same language - Hindi. But our baby sitter speaks Portuguese (and we have asked her to speak to our baby in that language only), we speak Hindi and English at home and she is exposed to English and Spanish in the daycare.

Hope this helps,
Aarushi

 

Research has shown that the best way of making children absorb more than one language without mixing them up is one-person, one-language. Meaning that you should speak to your child only in your mother tongue and your husband only in his. It's OK if the child responds in the "wrong" language (and it should be allowed, especially when the child is young), but you should be really consistent and only speak to him in your mother tongue. That allows kids to differentiate the two. They will still mix them up for a little while, and usually they will speak later than monolingual kids, but they will have the incredible advantage of being bilingual or trilingual, and also important, of communicating properly with both families-in-law!

 

Hi Asks,

Yes, it is true that children exposed to more than one language learn to speak a little later than others. This is what our pediatrician also told us.

It is just because they are absorbing all the different words and sounds.

Ask your pediatrician about your fears. She/he might allay it.

love,
Aarushi

 

Hi asks

Ya I can understand yr problem n appreciate yr patience. Its good u hv learned Tamil thoroughly n now teaching both languages to your kids.:iagree

Here mine is different case. V r telugu people and my d-in-law is tamilian. Her parents setteled in Andhra, she knows Telugu, Hindi and English also. So v never faced any language problem while talking each other.

But when she speaks with her parents/meternal relatives, she wil speak in tamil only. My son doesn't know tamil. I can understand little, if they speak slowly. But v never bothered to hear or understand what they r talking about. Even though all they know telugu, when they come to our house, they speak in tamil only. In the phone OK, but when v r around, I feel it is not correct, but I never expressed it. Just now I saw yr msg and want to inform this.

MSL

 

Dear Lakshmi

I don't mean to hurt your feelings,but frankly what is wrong with your dil's people talking in their own mother tongue in your house? I am a Malayalee married to a Tamilian and when my parents visit me at my in-law's house or when I talk to them on the phone,we talk in malayalam only,since that is our mother tongue and we have been talking that for years. We all know Tamil but that is not what we talk in our home,so why should we suddenly switch to Tamil just because my inlaws are there? That will only make me and my people very uncomfortable while talking.
At one time,my FIL told me to call one of my uncles as 'Chitthapa' in Tamil.Can you imagine me calling my uncle that.Firstly,my uncle who does not understand Tamil will not even respond if I call him that.Then why will I do it just to please my FIL.So,I just ignored his comments,that's it.
I have a 5 yr old son and I talk to him in both Tamil and Malayalam.Till about a yr back,he used to talk in tamil but now he talks only in English because of school influence.What to do? My only comfort is that he understands both Tamil and Malayalam and that is enough for me.

 

Hi Sunitha

Its not a matter of hurting. U hv expressed yr opinion.

But I wil accept only half. When v r around and my dil n their relatives speak in their own lang (which v do not properly) it looks not nice. because v feel boaring n siting with a blank face looks so funny. Here relationship is not main. Even if there r 3 friends, all knows english lang and out of them r a similar lang and third one is a diff language. When they all met, if these two common lang people talk each other in their lang what is the fate of the third one?

They shd speak while observing the circumstances. If they r sitting separately, even though in our house, if they speak whatever the lang no prob. But when v r all around, it doesn't looks nice. In our own house v wil sit like a stranger. That is the circumstance, mean.

I think that u understand the matter.

Anyway its good yr kids learning all the langs. Its better.

M S Lakshmi

 

Dear Lakshmi

I understand your viewpoint but think of this from your DIL's angle....it becomes very difficult to talk with one's parents in a different language when you are used to talking to them in one language all this time. I see this in my home itself.Sometimes,when my parents try and talk to my son in Tamil,it looks and sounds so odd...I suddenly feel like they are not my parents anymore because it is so artificial.

Let your DIL talk to her parents in her mothertongue,you continue talking in yours.This is only give and take...a simple adjustment...for everyone's peace of mind.:cheers

 

hi Aarushi,
I also faced this problem but i agree that if one person speaks their own mothertongue it will work out. The same had happened with me. V speak english at home most of the time. As my husband speaks telugu and i speak hindi being a north indian. But when my mother came to stay with us and she speaks only hindi. I was worried too as to how things will work out with my daughter and her granny. But i was shocked to see that she picked up hindi so well and most importantly and surprising was that whenever she had to talk to her granny she spoke in hindi and with us in english. So dont worry. But keep in mind to talk in ur own languages, so that ur kid can differentiate.

all the best and take care
BTej26k