An Affair and Its Aftermath - A Real Life Story

Amma15 · Mar 21, 2010

Dear Sridharji,

I saw this thread only yesterday and replied twice. I think there was a problem with my server. I hope this time my reply reaches you.

Why Malathi did what she did - only she will be able to answer that question. It is easy to feel disgust and anger and comment when we are not directly involved. I say this because we have seen this happen to two couples whom we know. Our teachers and professors - we loved and admired them. We still do. Their wives too were our professors. They were / are good people, excellent teachers and professionals - then why this?

The OTHER woman was not the SIL.

They are grandparents now. I know they regret and are ashamed of what happened. One of them even offered a public apology to an auditorium full of people. So often even now he tells us how he has hurt his family and he cannot still imagine how his wife and children forgave him. He also told us if the roles were reversed he does not know if he would have been so generous! This happened when we were students - 25years ago! As for her - I have often wondered why she took him back but have not dared to ask.

Perhaps that is why they say men are biologically polygamous.

As for Malathi trusting her sister and husband - who wouldn't ? When you love someone , you do trust him/her. More so if the person is your sibling and spouse.

Enjoyed the narration - yes it is sad that these things happen.

Regards,
Usha

varalotti · Mar 21, 2010

Dear Usha,

thanks for being my defence lawyer. This was a real life story and I did not want to alter the basic facts.

The moment her husband went astray Malathi started to treat him like a piece of furniture being stolen by her own sister. He may be a piece of furniture, all right. But he still belongs to her. So she went out of the way to claim him back and then put him in his place.

When you love you always trust. In many cases I have seen the women letting her husband move with her sister. But the problem is that it might backfire, because any day hormones are more powerful than the heart.

Shocked to read about the professor's escapades. Man is by nature polygamous, no doubt. But you know Usha these days women have also started to explore. That shows the pathetic nature of our society. I know at least four, five cases where a woman's immorality has spoilt the family.

thanks for coming in,
sridhar

Amma15 said: ↑

Dear Sridharji,

I saw this thread only yesterday and replied twice. I think there was a problem with my server. I hope this time my reply reaches you.

Why Malathi did what she did - only she will be able to answer that question. It is easy to feel disgust and anger and comment when we are not directly involved. I say this because we have seen this happen to two couples whom we know. Our teachers and professors - we loved and admired them. We still do. Their wives too were our professors. They were / are good people, excellent teachers and professionals - then why this?

The OTHER woman was not the SIL.

They are grandparents now. I know they regret and are ashamed of what happened. One of them even offered a public apology to an auditorium full of people. So often even now he tells us how he has hurt his family and he cannot still imagine how his wife and children forgave him. He also told us if the roles were reversed he does not know if he would have been so generous! This happened when we were students - 25years ago! As for her - I have often wondered why she took him back but have not dared to ask.

Perhaps that is why they say men are biologically polygamous.

As for Malathi trusting her sister and husband - who wouldn't ? When you love someone , you do trust him/her. More so if the person is your sibling and spouse.

Enjoyed the narration - yes it is sad that these things happen.

Regards,
Usha
Click to expand...

Sobhi · May 4, 2010

Hello Sridhar Sir

Hope you are doing good
Since you are on Study Holidays, I jumped over here from your spiritual forum.

This story is my god heart breaking..........I have read a similar story sometime back but dont remember where ?

I completely go with Chitra mam's and others comments in this blog and iam also with you in saying that Malathi went back to her husband bcz it was her way of showing the way out to her sister.

I would like to bring out one thing here. In the past year or two, I had read an article in Times of India Sunday edition which highlighted one night stands.

Even today when i recollect that article, i feel some undercurrents in my body. The article clearly stated people in very good professions as architects, lawyers with names changed who did not have a problem with thier spouses having one night stand and it was a mutual agreement between husband and wife to go out with thier respective choices.

They said we stay together just for our kids and husband and wife are ok with this and they call this as giving space to each other.

What a pathetic state our society has reached and that too the well educated persons. I feel sorry for them. I feel they seriously have a psycological problem or some personality disorder which they are trying to hide behind these so called Hep or modern western practices.........

Iam planning to post a thread on this topic for sometime but postponing.
But I will now do it and see how the IL's will respond..............

regards
Shobha

riya123 · Sep 29, 2010

After reading this story i am wondering if there was any love in this marriage. Here the real culprit is balan but he hardly suffers. Malathi avenges her sister latha but what about the punishment that has to be meted out to balan.
He happily gets to party both with latha and Malathi.
Another interesting thing is malathi never even tries to justify herself in taking back her husband who has strayed?.. I am sure balan would not have taken malathi back if she had strayed.. JMO

varalotti · Sep 29, 2010

Sobhi said: ↑

Hello Sridhar Sir

Hope you are doing good
Since you are on Study Holidays, I jumped over here from your spiritual forum.

This story is my god heart breaking..........I have read a similar story sometime back but dont remember where ?

I completely go with Chitra mam's and others comments in this blog and iam also with you in saying that Malathi went back to her husband bcz it was her way of showing the way out to her sister.

I would like to bring out one thing here. In the past year or two, I had read an article in Times of India Sunday edition which highlighted one night stands.

Even today when i recollect that article, i feel some undercurrents in my body. The article clearly stated people in very good professions as architects, lawyers with names changed who did not have a problem with thier spouses having one night stand and it was a mutual agreement between husband and wife to go out with thier respective choices.

They said we stay together just for our kids and husband and wife are ok with this and they call this as giving space to each other.

What a pathetic state our society has reached and that too the well educated persons. I feel sorry for them. I feel they seriously have a psycological problem or some personality disorder which they are trying to hide behind these so called Hep or modern western practices.........

Iam planning to post a thread on this topic for sometime but postponing.
But I will now do it and see how the IL's will respond..............

regards
Shobha
Click to expand...

Dear Shobha,
Sorry for the delayed reply to your post. I fully agree with your views and eagerly looking forward to your thread on the subject. Please do let me know when you have posted the thread.
You are right. Many couples stay together only on account of their children. And some even openly tell their children that I stayed in a bad marriage only because of you. That affects the children psychologically and the poison is carried on for a number of future generations.
thanks for coming in Shobha. And once again sorry for the delay.
regards,
sridhar

varalotti · Sep 29, 2010

riya123 said: ↑

After reading this story i am wondering if there was any love in this marriage. Here the real culprit is balan but he hardly suffers. Malathi avenges her sister latha but what about the punishment that has to be meted out to balan.
He happily gets to party both with latha and Malathi.
Another interesting thing is malathi never even tries to justify herself in taking back her husband who has strayed?.. I am sure balan would not have taken malathi back if she had strayed.. JMO
Click to expand...

Dear Riya,
This story is based on a real life incident. Real life incidents have never been mathematically perfect. Neither they are not perfectly just as they show in the olden movies that the good is rewarded and the bad is punished.
Malathi lived in an Indian society which places living with a husband at such a high premium that ladies would not even hesitate to avenge their blood sisters but not repay the husband for what he did.
You are right Balan would not have taken back if she had strayed. But I know a few husbands who have done it.
thanks for coming in to revive a thread posted long back.
regards,
sridhar

riya123 · Sep 29, 2010

Post not relevant

Rama1966 · Oct 18, 2010

Just a different view.....What about women who are having an affair behind the husband's back.... And then justify it by saying that " My husband did not pay attention to me. 'He' made me feel wanted.....

My views are that affairs of any sort should not be tolerated....no matter what the justification is.. pregnancy/having access to SIl etc..

If the marriage is over, break it first before going for any other woman..Not the other way around. If he/she goes for another woman/man then there should not be a second chance...

Sorry I do not subscribe to such forgiving mentality..:spin

varalotti · Oct 18, 2010

I appreciate your courage and conviction, Rama. An affair is the worst betrayal of one's own life partner. And no tolerance should be shown. Agreed.
But you know there are many women who pardon their husbands and a few men who pardon their wives even after that betrayal. May be they are cowards. May be they are overly dependent on their spouse.
Whatever it may be we at times spin our stories from the lives of such a person.
And as a story teller I have just told the story and have not passed judgments on the characters. But this is based on what happened in real life.
thanks for coming in.
sridhar

Rama1966 said: ↑

Just a different view.....What about women who are having an affair behind the husband's back.... And then justify it by saying that " My husband did not pay attention to me. 'He' made me feel wanted.....

My views are that affairs of any sort should not be tolerated....no matter what the justification is.. pregnancy/having access to SIl etc..

If the marriage is over, break it first before going for any other woman..Not the other way around. If he/she goes for another woman/man then there should not be a second chance...

Sorry I do not subscribe to such forgiving mentality..:spin
Click to expand...

zingy · Feb 18, 2011

Sridher,
I happened to read this story only now. I went through responses and your replies. Whether she did it out of love or for her daughter or even just to appease her ego by winning over her sister somehow I could not accept the fact malathy accepted Balan.I just wish she showed him the door.
Again If she is so so good and can forgive her husband she could as well forgive her Sister.If she want a revenge she should have taken it from both of them.
I hate malathy equally. I feel ,Only because of people like Malathy These Males(MCPs) think the so called Rules are only for women. Anytime they can do a mistake and come back with a 'Sorry'
----
It brought back a incident which happened when I had just joined college.It was the time when we had just started knowing things. My very close friend had gone to holidays to her local guardians place who happened to be her cousin.
They were very close knitted family.Infact she is very close to her cousin' s brother than her own brothers.
Her cousin had gone to some function with her 1 year old son.Her Husband took advantage of that and tried this gal.
Though she was able to stop it at the last moment. Damage had been done . I know of her and our sleepless nights in hostel thinking about pregancy. None of us had clear idea of sex so could on even offer her some support.Only person we could talk to was cousin'd brother. He could offer only support with words and adviced us to be silent. Thinking back now .Guess he had to think about his own sister's life also.Her cousin does not know about this till date and continues to worship her husband who did this to 17 year old girl.

Though it kind of went to past and years wentby the incident came to haunt my frien back after she finished her graduation and got married .Infact nobody even caused it. After her first delivery her guilty feeling became her enemy . she withdrew within herself and distanced herself from her husband and even started asking for divorce confessing to him.
Her Husband was god sent gift for her:bowdown.He simply refused to be separated and stood with her on her difficult times.
He took her for counselling and was very supportive.They are a very Happy couple. Infact a Ideal couple in our friends Group.

Yes I am biased towards my friend . No matter what our Indian Law says, A 17 year old is Kid to me. Esp. one from rural background and nurtured in family with false sense of security and innocence

;;;

Malathy and Memories it brought made me angry so much that I had to edit to write these words which I forgot . I really love your writing style and also versatlie subjects you touch upon. I will come back to write somemore when I back to my normal self