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Discussion in 'Married Life' started by cheerful, Oct 20, 2010.

  1. Loner

    Loner Senior IL'ite

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    What job does Mr.Cheerful do ?

    What is his career position now?

    I am very curious about this. He might be a workaholic.
     
  2. sita2223

    sita2223 Bronze IL'ite

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    Glad that I made you smile dear.

    Does being a matured woman/wife/mother mean putting up a straight serious face all the time?? Nobody is born-matured, everyone has a child within, its not so wrong to switch between the childish and matured facets of ones personality.

    Oh, do try and please don't give up after one or two tries. It might take time, but it is worth it. You say your H is good in every other way, give him a few chances. This may not work everytime, but its ok.

    For ex, I can not run away from getting a flu shot with a cute face, my DH will tell me "thats not gonna work", then buy my fav icecream or a teddy bear and will make me get the shot. So a cute face doesn't really work there. (p.s. I am terrified of needles)

    On a totally different angle - my DH is a typical capricorn, the good natured - serious - hard working - goat. If I had given up on him, maybe he would turn out to be the incommunicado type, but ever since I met him I kept bugging him to lighten up, emote, talk, communicate etc. It took time but now he is not a 'typical' capricorn anymore, atleast not with me. His own friends/family are surprised at how comfortable and relaxed he is with me. You could try checking your H's sunsign and go from there. Maybe he is one of those serious-type sunsigns.

    Sorry, I am giving such unconventional suggestions. Its just that I am a hopeless romantic and I don't believe in looking for happiness in hobbies when you have a perfectly nice H at hand, right?
     
  3. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    You really are :) and thats cool :thumbsup
     
  4. sita2223

    sita2223 Bronze IL'ite

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    :wink: thankyou
     
  5. gjaya

    gjaya Silver IL'ite

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    OMG I had to write this.....you sound so just like me....and your H sounds just like mine....my husband is a capricorn as well, he is a serious type of guy ....not anymore a "typical" capricorn though, he cracks jokes now, laughs heartily and me a complete GEMINI.....yup a die-hard romantic.....maybe you are my twin. :)

    And I have to add that what advice you have given here, been there done that.... Sometimes I feel it really diffuses the situation into getting more serious. My husband cannot help but laugh out loud or smile eventually, when I play childish or give a silly pout or just go hug him tightly when he is mad at me.
     
    Last edited: Oct 23, 2010
  6. sita2223

    sita2223 Bronze IL'ite

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    That's really sweet and cute Jaya.

    cheerful - here is another example for you. :thumbsup
     
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2010
  7. ilovelife

    ilovelife Bronze IL'ite

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    I feel this post is giving a unconventional angle to our normal discussions here :) its very interesting...

    Dear Cheerful ( lovely user name) - i think the change in career i.e, staying at home, pregnency is causing you mood swings..but i am sure the new member who is about to arrive will add a lot of cheer in your life. it will add more responsibilities to your DH and his involvment would become more.. i feel manytimes kids will be the bridge between parents to stay togeather..

    even my husband by nature is very serious reserved he accepts that fact. he says i am like this from childhood. but i saw him being passionate about photography, music( classical) , his work etc.. so i always admire about his photos and cd colletion etc and he doesnt have any cheerful reaction to it but for sure he responds in a positive manner.

    somtimes i think a husband is responsible about the family that will be the first important thing for being positive about the relationship. as you can see in many of the threads where husbands want wives money and least bothered about family, always moms side. physically abusing etc..

    your problem smal compared to them, you just need to find diffrent ways of being happy, i dont know if its possible now but for a longterm i feel if we get involved in social support actvities like visiting orphanage,old age homes , MR kids etc. will make life really happy and we feel proud of being what we are..

    you are very special and there cannot be another cheerful, if you dont keep your self happy and then you are betraying your ownself, why should your happiness be dependent on someone elses behaviour.. you be happy in such a way that you H should feel J and ask you the secret..

    I really liked Sita's conversation here :) Kudos
     
  8. KuraiOnrumIllai

    KuraiOnrumIllai New IL'ite

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    Wow, this is exactly me! - works everytime. :thumbsup

    I believe we all have a feminine side and a masculine side to us. Men do not show their feminine side or talk about their "feelings" openly because of the society. But they also want to be loved, nurtured, a solid relationship, and have almost all the feelings of a female.

    My husband used to be a serious person also (but not so serious as cheerful mentioned) but I am and have always been a take it easy, happy-go-lucky person. During the initial years my DH was also very uncomfortable when I talk, hug and kiss for no reason. But I did it anyway. He used to do it only when there is a "need". Over the years, he has changed and never leaves the house without a hug and as soon as he enters the house the first thing he does is hug and go on to tell me what happened that day.

    cheerful - From your post I see it's not just his nature. Is he scared of falling in love?? some thing is wrong - work pressure, depression??. I am 100% positive you can make him talk. But there is a right way/approach. Yes, it's not simple like spidy says, but not very difficult either. It takes time and perseverance. And nobody can teach you how to do it. Only you know your DH, his limits and YOU have to figure out how you'll handle the situation. Take it slow. One thing at a time. Ofcourse, if you do it the wrong way - it will anger him and make things worse. Like when my kids nag sometimes I get annoyed coz of the "way" they behave but most of the time I give in.

    I wouldn't suggest that you talk to your in-laws about their son, even if they are good. You will regret it later. Not even your parents. In my opinion, no other family member should get involved in husband and wife matters unless it's a truly serious situation. You both sit down and talk. Make him talk. Open communication, commitment and love is the key for a happy marriage. :cheers
    Nagalaxmi
     
  9. sita2223

    sita2223 Bronze IL'ite

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    cheerful - one more example for you. See how Nagalaxmi says 'over the years'. Yes, it takes time but it is totally worth it.
     
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2010
  10. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    Cheerful,
    Take it very slow, and you know best whether the approach will work or backfire based on your hubby's personality.
     
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2010

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