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What made you say YES??? - Of Arranged Marriages!!!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Priya_Mommy, Aug 19, 2010.

  1. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    HAHAH yeah that was what I did. But it was luck. Let me tell you an interesting story. You too listen, Ajain!:)

    There was this one proposal that came in with very short notice. The story is that the guy came in for a short vacation and he is leaving shortly so needed to see me asap. My dad was half minded.. He did not like the groom pic as according to my dad he looked very mature (in my dad's words: "kudumbam nadathi pullai pethavan mathiri irukan" [he looks like he was already a family man with kids]). Yet the broker insisted that we arrange for his visit. My dad gave in.

    He came. He talked to me alone for some 30 mins or so.. well actually we both sat there quiet for the first 5 or so mins.. then he asked all basic questions except 'what is your name?, what is your father?'. :biglaugh
    He was very calm throughout the session. He left saying he will get back to us in a week.

    My dad did not like him. My mom liked him. I was like decide whatever. I mean my thoughts exactly were: since he had no parents and for the most part of his life he had been in boarding school, I was thinking I should make it up for him if he were the one destined for me!!

    As usual, dad won and he told the broker 'No'. I was furious at my dad for making me stand in front of people when he clearly did not like the groom. After 6 mons, the same broker told us that the man who sat with me and interviewed me so gently, just broke the news to his FOO that he was ALREADY married and has a school going kid!!

    This so-called groom had come to see me just because his elder sis (he had no parents) who has no idea of his marriage, pesters him to 'get married' whenever he comes for his vacation from abroad.

    Had he looked any younger, had my dad liked him, and had that man too decided to go ahead for a namesake marriage to shut his FOO, imagine my plight! :hide: It was mere luck.
     
  2. ajain35

    ajain35 Senior IL'ite

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    The pot of selflessness is overflowing, True. :bowdown:bowdown:bowdown
     
  3. DDC

    DDC Silver IL'ite

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    Why did I say yes to an arranged marriage- cos I trusted my parents 100% to find the right guy for me. Call me old-fashioned & damn lucky.

    In fact I have told guys from college who've proposed - " If you are really serious, tell your parents to talk to my parents. If my parents decide you are the One then I'm fine with it" & the guy would invariably go " then you too like me" & my reply would be "No, Im perfectly neutral & have no special feelings whatsoever for you but I trust my parents 100%, they know me & who is good for me "

    In mundane things we are poles apart my DH & I. But our core values are the same -thank God for that.

    Fate? Destiny? Trust ? Naivete ? Stupidity ? - I dont know but it works for me.


    I guess if Marriage is like roulette, then Arranged marriage is like Russian roulette :cheers
     
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2010
  4. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    AJ,

    True makes it appear that she lucked out. Thats bogus. Fact of the matter is she can take pretty much anything and turn it into a happy, lucky matter. She makes her own luck for the most part. It wont always work (so real Lady Luck is required too) but for the most part she is msluck coz she makes her own with all the requisite ingredient characteristics. I think its phenomenal.
     
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2010
  5. ajain35

    ajain35 Senior IL'ite

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    Yup and I think its a good lesson for anyone entering/in a marriage. Its not about how nice the other person is. Its about how nice we are to accept someone's imperfections.
     
  6. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    There you go maan! Easier said than done, but thats the mantra.
     
  7. divya24

    divya24 New IL'ite

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    Hi all

    Mine was arrange marriage 7 yrs back and honestly speaking I left this decision to my parents specially my mom b'coz I think parents will do watever best for their children.

    and I am so happy and lucky that my parents chose him as he is such a darling.

    wat made me said YES -- he got a decent family, a progressive career, gud sense of humor and over all a nice human being.

    Divya
     
  8. Priya_Mommy

    Priya_Mommy Gold IL'ite

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    Rose,
    Nice to read about your life. Yes, sometimes though there is no fault from our end, we have to face consequences.
    Thanks for sharing.
     
  9. Priya_Mommy

    Priya_Mommy Gold IL'ite

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    Latha,
    Marriages are made in heaven. So, its proven in your case too!!!
     
  10. Priya_Mommy

    Priya_Mommy Gold IL'ite

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    True,
    Good to read about your mindset pre and post marriage. Neverthless to say, you can look for me too in your boat there.
    I too left the choice to my parents as they dont do any harm to me atleast. Lucky me, my childhood buddy and we were born and broughup in the same place with same set of people, went to same school,college and got settledown pretty well in lives. It was Parents conscious decision to made us to tie the knot!!!!

    But if I was given a chance now, I will think twice/thrice before making up decision wrt life and I might have told NO aswell.



     

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