Kids with Over IQ - Behavioural Issues

Priya_Mommy · Jun 28, 2010

Hello all,
My son is 2.5. I have few complaints on him.
Day by day its becoming a challenge for me to bringup my son. I havebeen observing since one week, he is behaving in a wiered way. He has little bit of over enthu and curiosity, I dont deny. But offlate, it is really becoming tough. He asks the same question repetitively till he gets answer. Its not that he doesn't know answer, but dont know if he wants to test us. He just makes everybody to talk more with his questions and followup questions. Sometimes its becoming irritated infront of any relatives, he being asking lot of questions related any topic. If we keep on answering, he doesn't stop. I dont know if I am killing his IQ, but this may have negative impact long run. He doesn't ask for unknown things but ask for known things repetitively. Today we have decided not to answer his queries anymore unless untill required. If we doesn't answer he will grab our attention by pinching the nose and face. He doesn't want us to watch TV or any other work and always wants us to answer his useless queries. I know I shouldn't react in this way, but no option. We wanted to spend quality time iwth him during weekend, but end of the day its becoming frustration and I am shoutng on him.
Always he needs his father's attention and doesn't want me or anybody infront of his father.
I checked in his school, he is not at all sitting in class but always roaming inside or just coming out of the class to play with toys. He is sitting whenever he has activity. Once it is finished, he is just roaming alll the rooms.
He is new to the educational system, not a problem,we know that over a period of time, he will learn.
At home, we tried to sit with him for atleast 10 mins and work for some activity like coloring/alphabets arrangements. But no use, he doesn't want to follow our agenda at all, but always he wants attention in his own way.
I dont know how to handle his behavioural issues, and I know that he is young and we being working couple can't really spend time during working days except few hours in night.
Please suggest good ideas to deal with him and my situation is helpless, he is really behaving unbearable.

asha_karthik · Jun 28, 2010

Behavioral issue? hmmm, thats a strong term IMO.

I don't see any other 2.5 yr old behaving differently from what you have described. asking questions repetitively is very common. DD, now 4, still does that. i must have answered her "why does it get dark in the evenings?" question a million times. sometimes i try saying sun getting tired to rest, sometimes about earth's rotation/revolution in simple words etc. if it gets too much i say "i think you know the answer. can you tell me? i seem to have forgotten". ofcourse there were times i have simply toldher "i think you are asking this question too many times. enough" i think it is normal, just that our patience threshold need to increase as children cross these stages.

About activities, try bringing it to your routine, and when he loses attention, just let him go. It could take a long time before kids understand routine and by being consistent in our approach things fall into place.

Dont worry Priya.

Young@heart · Jun 28, 2010

Dear Priya,
Reading your post feels like reading my own story. My 7 year old son does the same all the time. I get too frustrated at the end of the day. His curiosity peaks up at bed time (just to buy some time before he goes to bed). It allowed us absolutely no time for anything else.
Last week my H came up with a wonderful idea!! He told our DS that any question he wants to ask, he has to write down and ask. H explained to me that this will basically serve two purposes: -
It will improve the handwriting and spellings.
It will lead to only necessary questions (to which he really doesnot know anwers to).

Your 2.5 year old son may be too small to try this out but why not come up with something like showing him the answers to his questions (if he asks about moon/sun/day/night - explain the solar system simply to him and then ask him questions)? I am sure this will help as it did with my son when he was younger.

I read somewhere that is takes a minimum of 3 weeks continuous routine to be picked up by the child.... so give yourself some more time dear....

Regards,
Payal

Priya_Mommy · Jun 28, 2010

asha_karthik said: ↑

Behavioral issue? hmmm, thats a strong term IMO.

I don't see any other 2.5 yr old behaving differently from what you have described. asking questions repetitively is very common. DD, now 4, still does that. i must have answered her "why does it get dark in the evenings?" question a million times. sometimes i try saying sun getting tired to rest, sometimes about earth's rotation/revolution in simple words etc. if it gets too much i say "i think you know the answer. can you tell me? i seem to have forgotten". ofcourse there were times i have simply toldher "i think you are asking this question too many times. enough" i think it is normal, just that our patience threshold need to increase as children cross these stages.

About activities, try bringing it to your routine, and when he loses attention, just let him go. It could take a long time before kids understand routine and by being consistent in our approach things fall into place.

Dont worry Priya.
Click to expand...

May be Asha, I know its really strong.
Even I tried handling the way you said, if I keep on answering his questions, there is no end. Almost 7 days, its toomuch. If I handle him in the same as he, like asking questions, he is not showing interest and going to my husband or my parents and askng the same question.
I am quite annoyed sometimes with his over enthu and IQ levels. Sometimes I feel, this is way a child should grow. But we are touching other end now, he is asking questions for quite obvious and trivial things. Any question would endup in a topic related to cars sometimes,food sometimes,going out sometimes.............
For instance, If I ask him to come for bath, he will ask “Where are we going”. If I say “Park”, then he replies “then what after goin”,
If I say, You have to play, the reply I get will be, after playing, then what……..
I will say, we have to come back, then the question wil be “After coming back, then what” ....the list goes on and on! If in between
"If I say a word CAR as answer for any reason", then I have to face another set of questions related to Cars not wrt the topic.
If we handle him in the same way.....then he gets frustration and cries aloud. He just tries to grabs attention and doesn't make us to do any other thing. I am sure, I am not thinking toomuch about his behavior and afteralll he is just 2.5, but really worrying about him if he continues to do so. Except this thing, he is pretty fine and very active kid.
How to make him sit in class or at home??He doens't sit even for few mins.

ilite · Jun 28, 2010

Hi Priya,

At 2 1/2 , I guess most kids (especially boys) are like that. Did you try to exhaust his energy by involving him in physical activities. If space allows, get him a tricycle, mine loves it. Also, different kinds of blocks helped to get them to sit for a while. You get tubular ones that mine really loved.

Mine too don't let us watch TV (unless it is something they enjoy) so we schedule this after they go to bed. For the other work , try to involve him while doing the work. Its much easier that way. I tell mine to fetch me two tomatoes from the fridge or just make him sit on the counter top and talk to him while cooking, if its cleaning dishes if he wants to be involved, sit him on the high chair and do my chores while talking to him, making bed he loves as I let him hold one end of the bedspread. If he is just seeking attention, these activities will help.

"He doesn't want us to watch TV or any other work and always wants us to answer his useless queries"

regards,

Priya_Mommy said: ↑

May be Asha, I know its really strong.
Even I tried handling the way you said, if I keep on answering his questions, there is no end. Almost 7 days, its toomuch. If I handle him in the same as he, like asking questions, he is not showing interest and going to my husband or my parents and askng the same question.
I am quite annoyed sometimes with his over enthu and IQ levels. Sometimes I feel, this is way a child should grow. But we are touching other end now, he is asking questions for quite obvious and trivial things. Any question would endup in a topic related to cars sometimes,food sometimes,going out sometimes.............
For instance, If I ask him to come for bath, he will ask “Where are we going”. If I say “Park”, then he replies “then what after goin”,
If I say, You have to play, the reply I get will be, after playing, then what……..
I will say, we have to come back, then the question wil be “After coming back, then what” ....the list goes on and on! If in between
"If I say a word CAR as answer for any reason", then I have to face another set of questions related to Cars not wrt the topic.
If we handle him in the same way.....then he gets frustration and cries aloud. He just tries to grabs attention and doesn't make us to do any other thing. I am sure, I am not thinking toomuch about his behavior and afteralll he is just 2.5, but really worrying about him if he continues to do so. Except this thing, he is pretty fine and very active kid.
How to make him sit in class or at home??He doens't sit even for few mins.

Click to expand...

lotusgirl · Jun 28, 2010

this is a phase i assure you.. My LO started this around 3 & is still ongoing albeit a bit less. if its oft repeated qs for which long explanations have been already given, then we ask those back.. that makes him think back and answer us.. But its a great way of developement for them.. they get information through fun & they really grasp a lot during such conversations.. I assure you, you will start missing the whys & hows after a while..

also isnt 2.5 a bit too early to expect them to sit still?? Yes i know we have been brought up so , joing the prekgs at 3 yrs etc. But 2.5 is still early. They have really shotrter attention span at that age.. even their group activities where they sit together and talk & sing & have story telling are for shorter periods at this age..

My lo doesnt sit still for TV. He has limited TV time.. regular days nthg & weekedns yes..well sick days, he gets more.. but its a max of an hr..if its his CDs then he wouldnt be sitting still, but rather walking around doing his stuff and the show running in the background.. thats totally normal!

His questions however trivial are not useless.. they play a major role in how curious or inquistive he will be.. I keep reminding myself if i make him shut up or stop asking these silly questions now becuase i get fed up it will inturn make him stop & think twice before he wants to know anything later on.. He should know its not wrong to ask qs & get answers!..

So take a deep breath & dive in!!

Priya_Mommy · Jun 28, 2010

LG,
How old is your LO now?? I Know, its early but for nursery eligibility is 2.6 and soon he will be 2.6. so, not a problem wrt age I believe.
They get information through fun, I know. But he is asking same questions on same subject. So, no value addition right?
It doesnt' like asking unknown questions rather asking to test us.

lotusgirl said: ↑

this is a phase i assure you.. My LO started this around 3 & is still ongoing albeit a bit less. if its oft repeated qs for which long explanations have been already given, then we ask those back.. that makes him think back and answer us.. But its a great way of developement for them.. they get information through fun & they really grasp a lot during such conversations.. I assure you, you will start missing the whys & hows after a while..

also isnt 2.5 a bit too early to expect them to sit still?? Yes i know we have been brought up so , joing the prekgs at 3 yrs etc. But 2.5 is still early. They have really shotrter attention span at that age.. even their group activities where they sit together and talk & sing & have story telling are for shorter periods at this age..

My lo doesnt sit still for TV. He has limited TV time.. regular days nthg & weekedns yes..well sick days, he gets more.. but its a max of an hr..if its his CDs then he wouldnt be sitting still, but rather walking around doing his stuff and the show running in the background.. thats totally normal!

His questions however trivial are not useless.. they play a major role in how curious or inquistive he will be.. I keep reminding myself if i make him shut up or stop asking these silly questions now becuase i get fed up it will inturn make him stop & think twice before he wants to know anything later on.. He should know its not wrong to ask qs & get answers!..

So take a deep breath & dive in!!
Click to expand...

asha_karthik · Jun 29, 2010

lotusgirl said: ↑

So take a deep breath & dive in!!
Click to expand...

Just came to say, I loved this LotusGirl.. this is very true Priya.

it could be trivial questions; but not that it doesn't have a value add. you create value to it answering to it differently everytime. and if you are sure, he is going to ask questions on where to go next, next, next.. just answer all of them in one shot, surprise him or put him to shock so he rethinks on what he needs to ask next.

like Ilite mentioned, it would be good to let him spend all his energy on some physical activities.

lotusgirl · Jun 29, 2010

Asha, that was sweet of you! but yes i agree its really a test of our boundaries at times & sometimes we just have to learn from our own reactions!

Priya_mommy.. i sort of adjusted to the system we have here & didnt strike me that 2.5 is normal age back home to expect to sit still & start listening!
LO is 4.5 yrs & have a pretty laid back schooling or rather zero schooling if we consider the Indian way. they have it easy till they reach proper school the age of 6. they learn via playing,story telling, staying outside etc. its a playschool/daycare set up.. they are so much independant and surprises me of the things they can come up with. the place encourages kids to ask questions & learn new things via that.

Even though you feel its the oft repeated things, there would be something new each time you say someting or you can make use of this session to tell him something new. make him tell you things back if its something you already have told him.. that helps him to think & articulate.. see that way you are helping him advance more.. so even if its the mundane stuff go along with it..
Oh and yes they are testing us too.. they love doing that ..

Shanvy · Jun 29, 2010

Priya_Mommy said: ↑

LG,
So, no value addition right?
It doesnt' like asking unknown questions rather asking to test us.
Click to expand...

He doesn't want us to watch TV or any other work and always wants us to answer his useless queries
Click to expand...

Mom, do you think i should bat like how vijay hazare did. do you find anything odd in this. well let me tell you what is odd here... vijay hazare was a player in the 1930's. and that is what my DS asks me...should i say this is useless and ask him to shut up..he is 12 shouldn't he know better than to ask this..:rant.

well i just quoted this to say you are not alone there. but nothing needs to be treated useless. who knows what that small mind is thinking. i definitely am sure a guy who arranges his cars in such a beautiful way is going to think something that is not useful. maybe he wants more. to learn more about the same thing.

for example if DS hears about something, he wants to know about it completely to the extent anything related to that..(thanks Google god who helps me..:biglaugh:biglaugh)

mine loves rocks and cricket...so imagine.any new stone,pebble i am :spin:spin:spin.we did bring small rocks as luggage from muscat. :drowning

So next time he asks you about a car, ask him to tell you the difference. (do a little study yourself..) next time you go on a drive, ask him to identify the model, the brand. slowly if he is really fascinated with cars, he will be an walking encyclopaedia of one.

We never know what is being absorbed and observed. so be a little more relaxed and enjoy it, do not curtail it is my opinion.