The Lovely Fifties

The Lovely Fifties​

Read a lovely blog by Sudha sharma


She writes about being in her forties, ( Sudhaji, why did u have to disclose your age, u don’t look a day over 28) , and how she is loving it, and this set my mind thinking about myself, in the late fifties.


Sudha has just stepped into her forties, and loving it, and they call it the Naughty Forty !
I crossed the forties, many decades back, and no win my late fifties, just about to enter my sixties, and I am looking forward to it. Surprised ! Here’s why !


Well, first the forties. The kids were growing up, I was broke, and just as the forties started, Godess Laxmi started to smile, and we could breathe easy. And she made sure, that she stayed put in our home, and put the financial worries off my back. A boring well came in, which reduced the water woes, a new Esteem, a new Van, and my room and the kids rooms had AC’s now.


And I got naughty at forty. The computer came in my life with the internet, and I could see the lovely creations of life slyly on the PC.And I got fond of some good clothes, and I got to go abroad on business, and alongwith it the got to see the lovely topless beaches of Spain, the lovely London, and life was one good mixture of business, money, profits, work and traveling. All in all a wonderful Forties. But some things remained the same, which I did not change, that is Harsha, Wills ciggies, royal Stag Whiskey, the same kids school, and the same set of friends. Life couldn’t have been better.


When I entered my fifties, Laxmi told me to take it easy now, so I retired to sow my wild oats ! And I was introduced to the world of Blogging thru sheer error. I was a religious fellow, by now ( Don’t believe me, ask Harsha) , praying to the lord everyday, thanking him, and I loved to read the TOI sacred space and speaking tree, and I wient to the TOI homepage to search for spirituality page, and there I see this Advt of Indus Ladies, and I followed it, registered and became a blogger by default. If I was not blogging today, I would have either become a TV Saint, or the roadside ones, but blogging made me forget the lord, and brought out the naughty side to me.


And now I look forward to the sixties, which are just a few years away. For u get the post office 9% Senior Citizen scheme, the extra IT benefit, and a good discount on Train ickets to boot eh ! the point is, I can still get away in the trains as a 70 year old, but if asked for my identity, I will fail, so let me legally get Senior, and enjoy all the benefits.

My case is like that fellow in that Insurance Advertisment, Max India , is it ! Where the wife tells hubby, that u went from <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comffice:smarttags" /><st1:City w:st="on">Lucknow</st1:City> to <st1:City w:st="on"><st1lace w:st="on">Kanpur</st1lace></st1:City> with your friend, just like that !!!
Well I have nothing to do, so blogging takes up most of my time, and all my friends are still working their asses off, and they cannot understand how I can do nothing at all, and still be happy. And I assure them, that I don’t drink whiskey at daytime, I don’t womanize for which u need time and money, and I have both, that I don’t go to temples to kill my time, that I don’t on the TV, but for the 9 pm news, and still I am happy, and mentally stable right now !


They keep making business friends, and I keep making real friends of Bloggers spread all over India and the world, that I receive calls from overseas too, that it is now fun for me to meet blogger friends in Banglore, Chennai and Mumbai, that I keep sending their nonveg jokes to my other set of blogger friends, the males that is, and the few veg ones to my female blogger friends.


When I was young, I was very timid, and scared to go to Banks, even with Dad’s business documents, I could not look in the eye of my Chemistry partner in college, that in my class, 3 rows were of girls and 2 of boys, and I never spoke to one girl throughout the year, ( SIES College, Sion, Mumbai), and in the building too, I never spoke to any girl, was mortally scared of this species called women. A very awkward time for me, when I should have been having a ball of a time, I see today’s kids and marvel at them, and cry at the missed opportunities in my younger days.


But now I have become very confident, I can walk in any bank or meet anyone, and talk face to face, without an iota of inferiority complex. I have stopped being in awe of anyone, nor fear being rejected or disliked, for I have started to believe, that it matters more to me what I think of myself, than what others think of me.


For I have realized, that if u may call me as dirty as a pig, or as brilliant as Bill Gates, it makes no difference to me at all, it is your perspective of me, for whatever reasons, I will remain Kamal Mahtani, for better or worse, so think whatever u want of me, dosnt make any difference to me.


And having not much formal education, nor as well read as most of u, it gives me great satisfaction,. When u readers tell me in the comments that u made us smile, that u made our day, that it strikes me, that I started my blogging in my fifties, and I take it as a big compliment. And if these compliments are Phishing, as the word goes, to phsih out money from me, I can swear u can get more oil out of a dead fly, than u will get a paise out of me ! But still I feel nice about being complimented, who dosnt !!!!!!


So thank u friends, for making my fifties so pleasant and bearable, that I am able to sit near a PC and write all this, day in and day out, otherwise u may have found me, as another Sadhu, a so called one of course, with a babe in one arm, a bottle in another (whiskey in it, not milk ), and mouthing away shlokhas.i prefer this life better.


And I always look at Khushwant Singh, in his midninties, still senile and having his Scotch everyday, writing and minting money, and I can see my future by looking at him.Who knows what I dish out for free today, may fetch me handsome gains in the near future.


To end, reminds me of that famous Doris Day song “ que Sera Sera, what will be will be,
The future’s not ours to see,
Que sara sara !


Thanks Sudhaji, for better or worse, this blog is dedicated to u, and if I get gaalis, tey are yours, and if garlands that too yours. I read that u love garlands, so take them all, if and when they come !!!


KAMAL MAHTANI



In a bar, a man attended a phone call
Hello
Yes Honey
Darling I am in a shopping mall, can I buy jewellery worth 1 lakh ?
Sure Honey !
1 silk saree worth 20,000/- ?
One Saree not enough, take one more
Darling I don’t have much cash left, can I used the credit card ?
Sure , with pleasure.

All friends after he put down the ophone, gathered and said, u love yr wife so much, wow !
Man >- EXCUSE ME, WHOSE <st1:City w:st="on"><st1lace w:st="on">MOBILE</st1lace></st1:City> IS THIS ? !!!!!



After giving yr wife 100^ salary, u get 20% happiness
Giving another’s wife, 20% of your salary, gives u 100% happiness

Jeevan appka, faisla aapka,
Jago Grahak , jago !!!!!!


For all those who love to Drink

Behind a Car was written

Daru peeoo, aur insaan Bano !
Roti to Sale Kutte bhi khatte Hai !!!!!


Why did Kokilaben give Hajmola to Anil and Mukesh ?
Because Hajmola solves all Gas problems !!!

Sex is like Salary
Nobody is happy with what they get
Nobody discusses theirs with others,
Everyone thinks the other one is getting more !!!

 

Dear Mindi,

Today morning i went to the Doc to show my eye, and an husband and wife came, they were before me.
the wife had a problem that she dosnt remember much tehse days.Doc asked her name, she replied after a few secs, then asked her age, she said 52, when the husband said, Doctor, she retired two years back from govt service , and u retire at 60, so she is 62 and says she is 52.

A perfect looking woman, but i was shocked, she looked so normal.They say blogging keeps yr brains active, and i want to keep blogging till my last days, so i can remember some things, and tell u, and keep joggingmy memory. like Khuswant, i want to write till the end.HAHA

yes i enjoy each day, for i dont know if there is a tomm.so keep smiling and happy, and make everyone smile, what say Mindi ? And glad u had a great time with cousin, we must keep in touch with others, all the time, or our brains goes to sleep.

Regards

kamal

 

Dear Kelly,

You had to run to the toilet eh ! Just to laugh! :rotflJust imagine me as a Sadhu, with a babe in one hand and a bottle in another eh :biglaughAny age is a good age, just be cheerful, and feel things will always be better, and rosier, and be happy with the present, that is why it is called a present.

Yes u be the male format of kamalji, but minus the drinks, ok ?
But i see ladies have screwdriver, bloody mary, a glass of wine, what is wrong in that ?

Today is the engagment of the son of my friend, cocktails.And i am stickign to beer only, for they dont measyure whiskey and give, and i cant hold too much whiskey.So beer is fine, and they say beer is aladies drink .HAHA

Good one Kelly, i can never be FED UP TO THE CORE of your FB's.:biglaugh

Regards

kamal

 

Dear Knot,

Well naughty applies to men and women u see.:biglaughNo one likes bland food, nor simple serious women, a little bit of spice in food, and some humour in life is fine.

Well , when u have heard of all the swamis like Nityananda, kamal maharaj would be such a welcome change, advocating, nonveg , whiskey, and the prasad would be chickan tikka, and whiskey by the spoons, to all disciples, i would tell them, eat and drink, but drop a few other habits , like gambling, womanizing, eating other peiople's monies, etc, and i think, the disciples from all other gurus will run to me eh ! HAHAHAHAHAHA

Dont worry u are jolly good as u are, just dont take life too seriously, and dont try to impress neighbours , dont keep with the joaness, and u will always be happy.

Regards

kamal