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The +ve change you brought about in your spouse? how?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by mstrue, Jun 12, 2010.

  1. rv8

    rv8 Gold IL'ite

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    :cool2: Amen to ilite... My vote will be invariably to MsTrue for such lovely thread...

    Coming to the topic, my DH used to be a very reserved person when it comes to social meetings, or even with family and relatives.. But thanks to his chatter-box DW, he is more open now, has become more expressive and witty.. Even ILs have noticed this..

    Also he never used to share his day-to-day happenings in office. But I am a tape-recorder kind, who just blurts out as soon as I come home, right from my morning coffee break to what happened in bus on the way home.. These days, even without me asking, he has started to tell his office matters. That is greatly helping him in relieving his tension and sometimes get my opinion on his stand. :)

    I think, we should start another parallel thread, on positive changes that our spouses brought in us!! :thumbsup Or do we have one already?
     
  2. raha256

    raha256 Bronze IL'ite

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    :thumbsup well, i can say 2 changes in my DH.
    1. communication:cool:
    when i marrried him he was a person who can say jus "Yes" or "No". that too he wont open his mouth. a noddy.:crazy so i talked to him a lot, a lot to make him speak to people.
    today, he cracks lot of jokes in his workplace and he has a handful of friends.

    now how i made change?.
    i took the place of my DH:crazy. whenever he puts a question to me i'll nod. he felt it weird. he shouted. then i slowly explained him that this is the way everyone gets irritated when he nods his head. also i explained him how good it is to have a friends circle. we attended a birthday parties, marriages (my inlaws never go anyones place nor do they come). i started with all. i called my realtives and friends home and infront of all i started appreciating my DH for his amazing qualification and skils. then motivated him to develop his communication. he is working on that even today to improve more and more:wow.

    2. love towards baby girl also.
    my inlaws hate baby girls.:evil: so is my Dh. i delivered a baby girl. there was absolutely no welcome to my dolly DD. fine let them not do it, i did a lot. after cmg to my inlaws place noone played with her. my DH never thinks about DD. i felt their is no use in sheeding tears.

    when my DH was 1 year and few months old, i said my DD to go and give him socks, handkercheif whenever he asks:idea. my DD started doing this as a routine. she loved this. after a month i found the change in my DH. he said his mom that it is so nice to see DD trying to take socks,handkys for him. he loved the way DD does things for him. after 6 months he started giving her kisses and hugs the moment she gives it in his hands. (DD was 2 year old by this time.)he started asking whats DD is doing whenever he calls from wrkplace?, on sundays i said him to give her a bath.

    when i was about to send to playgroup, i said my DH that i cant drop DD in playgroup becoz of my college timings (a lie) my MIL preferred to send her by a cab (stupid, can a 2mths kid go in a cab all alone. dont know how she gets all stupid ideas?:oops:). my DH readily agreed to drop her and did it everyday. :hatsoffi wanted this. even today he says dropping lil ones in playgroup is a funny and relaxing job. i forced him to spend time with DD so that he will surely love my DD. all my efforts gave amazing results. all these changes came when my DD was 2 years old. today my DH says, DD's are better that DS,DD loves dads etc etc. anyway i got what i want. he loves baby girls also.:yes:
     
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  3. Mahajanpragati

    Mahajanpragati Platinum IL'ite

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    hi,
    raha,u are really one intelligent lady.everyone faces problem but u have found solution of them which is very rare.
    normally ,in situation like urs people would fight ,blame parents,in laws,luck which though consoles heart bring no result.but u have found way in positive manner:thumbsupkeep it up

    mstrue,
    nice thread.my dh was very lazy person.sunday & holidays meant lying in bed,eating fatty food,watching TV............for me it was the day to spend time with loved one,spend time on hobbies,finish shopping ,get ready for week ahead by ironing dresses for week,polishing shoes etc
    now, i see a change in him(rather ur thread made me notice it).though sleeping is still favourite pass time but he has started to reduce the duration & paying attention to other things like he will do the weekly veggie shopping or take kids to park instead of me or just finish reading all the good articles i have forwarded or emailed him.

    i on other hand have become more patient,calm
     
  4. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    I got my dh to stop smoking. He had been a smoker almost 15 years.
     
  5. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    Excellent. This is a very difficult thing I suppose, so kudos to your DH as well.
     
  6. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks Spidey. You know, he just quit cold turkey. One day he promised me he would never smoke again, and he never did. I had been upset for so long thinking his health would be ruined and already he is 13 years older to me... so suppose he dies an extra 10 years early for smoking? I would be all alone by 45! :spin After lot of begging and crying, he finally saw how much it meant to me. Out of all the gifts he has given me, the smoking thing has been the best. Also, he never used to like cats, but relented and let me adopt 2. Now he is a cat fanatic (looooooves them :kiss) and I have to stop him from adopting every homeless cat he sees. It's those changes of himself that have meant the most to me, more than anything else. I really appreciate him. Tonight he is taking me out for NY style pizza, and told me to pick a place where we could relax and chat and spend time with each other. He is really romantic and I'm so thankful for him. I really love him. And I'm thankful to MsTrue too, for starting these threads, to get us thinking about the blessings we have in our lives. :thumbsup
     
  7. mithy232

    mithy232 Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks Spidey :bowdown

    Just one change:
    He is full of smiles! Though I speak a lot, I am not that good in expressing my thoughts. So I emote a lot and he is the only one who can understand what I am trying to convey. That way, all my emotions/actions/reactions makes him smile. I am his 'stress buster' adding entertainment quotient to his life. :boo:

    Though it irritates me at times, usually I fall for his smile. I would love to capture his smiles and can code 100 different smiling emoticons :) :) :)
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2010
  8. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks Mstrue for yet another positive thread from your kitty :thumbsup+ve changes that I can get together:

    1) His maternal grandma said that he's started smiling and speaking for himself.
    2) He learnt non-geared 2W from me and 4W post marriage.. I took test drives for SUVs and hatchbacked & he left the decision to me to pick vehicle of my comfort also beacuse I was paying up, car was in and I never drove it, the first day he took the car out, its bumper went in and he parked it aside and called me (I was already in office).. I wont take the car again someone hit it from the back.. I told him go ahead hit it from the front.. we'll pay up for both the bumpers at the same time but I want you to be confident.
    From that day he never looked back, we drove down day and night over east and west coasts of India literally on non existent roads, next to sea-side, I reading map and navigating him through the darkness and when to apply brakes and accelerate.
    3) His dressing style.
    4) His walking.. he's lot more confident now.. whenever he's angry & runs away from me he gets back to his hoppy walk :biglaugh...
    5) We dont waste time on lunch/ dinner tables.. he can order food now :bonk.
    6) He learnt the art of gifting.
    7) Bedtime art.. I strongly feel that guys should stay in hostel to learn a lot when they're surrounded by moms who want them to come out of bathroom fully dressed and are living in limited/ scrutinised space in house/ cupboards to explore a few realities of life.

    It was a cultural shock for me :crazy since I saw my bro and dad as skimpy as mougli and not to mention the literatures/ artifacts present in my bro's cupboard..........

    We built up a great team in a steady way from scratch and was going great guns.... my castle was intruded during my weak phase and am making efforts to regain the control... there are times when I loose hope and times when Mstrue brings back my wonderful memories and efforts to drive back a lot of energy into me. Thanks True.
     
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2010
  9. raha256

    raha256 Bronze IL'ite

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  10. neha1

    neha1 Silver IL'ite

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    Mstrue,what a beautiful topic. You are helping all of us by making us pause for a moment and think about the positives in our lives. Thanks


    In my case,
    • Dh became a little more social - He is the kind who does not involve much with friends and relatives(Thanks to his family!). I made him see the positives in socializing. I started to invite my cousins and friends for lunch or dinner. Then,once they leave Dh himself mentions" It was so nice with people around":crazy. Now, he is more comfortable with people and more inclined toward socializing.
    • DH has become much more calmer - Can you believe that my DH once broke some glass crystal ware just because he was angry:hide:? On another ocassion he almost wanted to throw his own laptop outside the window. Those were the days I was not calm either. Slowly,I brought a change in myself. I became calm and started to control my moods. This got carried over to DH.He is so much calmer now. All the anger in him very very rarely comes up
    ASG,
    This is a huge achievement in my opinion. How did you bring about this,ASG? Way to go,Girl!!!:thumbsup This gift is bigger than anything else for a wife,I would say. I am sure your DH too had put in efforts as he might have seen how much this is troubling the person he loves.
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2010

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