Help me to forget my first love!

Let's see, you gave up the first guy for your parents, their big ego against love marriages, and all that other social crap. You made your choice, now just deal with it and move on! Obviously you didn't love this guy as much as you thought you did, else you would not have left him.

So stop dwelling on the past, because really, there is not as much good stuff there as you think. If there was, you would be with him today. Your relationship with that other guy was just not meant to be. You are way too much concerned with society and your parents to have ever made that relationship work. So relax and accept that your fate was to be with your dh and kid, because that is what you chose. And who knows... had you gotten married to the first guy, there is no guarantee that your marriage with him would have been better or happier than the one you've got now! So no point thinking over and over 'what if'.

But one thing I just HAVE to say...

You are accusing your dh of being a momma's boy???? HELLO! You are the one who broke your first relationship because of your parents! Just as he is a momma's boy, you are a momma's girl! There's one thing in common with people who go for arranged marriage.... both bride and groom are highly committed to following parent's wishes. So, you can't opt for an arranged marriage and then expect your dh to be an independent Romeo willing to trail blaze his own path without parents "guidance". If that's what you wanted, then you probably should have picked the first guy! Too late now. Count your blessings and forget the past. If your relationship with your dh is lacking, spruce it up and build the love. Make the best of the life you've got!

 

hi
try to concentrate on work more. build a new hobby and dont be alone. try to avoid his thought. keep humming your favourite song and go on. you have your dh and kid kindly get rid off his thoughts. dont try to get in touch with our ex it might create problem to you as well a him . so just make your mind. their is nothing impossible so try not to remember about him. all the best:thumbsup

 

whenever you think about this guy.. also think what if my DH is also thinking about another girl..
Automatically everything will stop.

 

DrPepper,
I understand your pain. I had a close friend like you in a very much similar situation. I used to console her and diverted her by taking her to movies/shopping etc....what not? But I know you can't erase the past but can hide your feelings. So, just move on as it was your conscious decision to marry your DH. What made you to think about your ex??Just try to interact with your KId, try to do meditation,Yoga and involve in your favourite activity. What do you want to prove to your Ex by apalogising??Love may not always lead to marriage, its a universal hidden truth and every lovers will have this sort of insecurity feeling till they get permission from their parents. Why to messup your life and his life?
Just move on!!!



Archana,
Good sugestion!!

 

sounds like V.V. movie, but anyway - try to focus on the good points of your DH to shift your mind. I also agree with what ASG has suggested.

 

Dont fall into the trap of initiating any communication - one thing may lead to another and u may find yourself in a mess in no time.

 

Hi
It is going to be hard and frankly i will say you will never forget.No matter how great your current married life is there will be times ,ie watching a movie of listening to a song that will bring memories back.
What you have to realize is the past and present is very different.What's past is past.Growing up you must have had unpleasant experiences ,you must think of them as a part of your maturing ,ie some hurdles in your path of life and move on.Remember time and tide waits for none.

 

I don't think that's a bad thing. Life is to appreciate nature and it's wonderful ways.

 

True .. Sarma a +1 for me for the above.
There's a quote.. sometimes its in the best interest for us to not to get everything we wanted... but to get things that shall be good for us in the long run. What is important is to relalise that the love was past and should not ride over your present.

I shall call it an instance of sweeping generalization and a thought pattern which forces a lot of people to arrange a LOVE Marriage. Not all are lucky to find their true love in biological reproduceable age limit or to finalise a love marriage.