Life partner with complete different behaviour-Need advice

Hi IL's
I am writing this with full of frustration. I have no clues.I was married at the age of 22.
All in a hurry my parents arranged that especially my mom, told that good family,..blah.blah..blah..
I too accepted that but I haven't matured enough at that time.
Now 3 years over and I have 2 years old son.
Now my-in-laws staying with us and take care of my kid.Without allowing my parents they are doing the job eventhough
they are aged because of one main reason. I dont want to specify here.
Problem with in-laws are very common only.
But me and my husband are not having in a good understanding.
We two are software engineers. He will approach things differently than me.
He is often very doubtful about me. I am feeling very shame when he ask some questions.
I wont be calm at that time.. I too shout. Last time I tried to attend suicide, not with full heart.
But he is saying like I am only conrolling you. I cann't accept this.
I didn't except such a person in my life. I have lots of exceptions. God doesn't satisfied not even 10%.
When we two are alone we are somewhat happy. But now in front of in-laws he is dominating like anything.
He is not so perfect in all things, he not even like to spend money for valuable things,he wont like to spend
money for me and my kid- he will thought everything as luxurious eventhough it is small purchase.
He not even consult things with me. He decided by his own or with his dad or brothers.
I dont want he should accept me all the times. But if he considers my thought also I feel better.
We are not travelling in the same path. I dont know where it willl go.
He is avoiding my parents and brother also because of me.
He wants me to satisy his wishes.. thats all. After every fight I cann't forget that.
He forgets everything and he calls me for.....
I dont like this. I dont have any freedom. We didnt go for a honeymoon after marriage.He doesn't know how to satisfy me with this small
wishes of me.Whenever I said onething means he will choose the opposite one.
I have to adjust everything.I dont know to express my feelings here. I dont like him atleast.
And also he never understand my feelings. If i will study something he will scold.
If i will be in kitchen all the time he will scold.I was in phone, he will scold..for everything.. tension.. tension..
He makes everyone feeling tension. I dont like this behaviour.
He wants to be live with his mom and dad all the time.. then he will feel happy.
I cann't change him. It is impossible. If his parents are not there means I can but not more than 10%.
He is a very lazy guy too. He wont take decisions early. I am feeling like I was not matured but he was also
not matured at this age of 30.
My life quality has been so much changed.So many times I feel like I have made worng decision about my marriage at early age,
especially when my friends and relatives getting married to a better guy and getting in to better life.
Now-a-days I am feeling happy only at office only that too full of thoughts.. In home on seeing my son I satisfied a bit.
How ladies are tolerating their man. Why they have to adjust each and everything.. Why this society is like this.
Please advice me to get rid of this. I want a happy life.

Thanks,
Rarey

 

Thanks Deepd,

As you said we had to plan our life at early stage itself. Noe I am realizing the cause of early pregnancy. Silence is the best solution I hope.
Have to plan for vacation too.. But time should permit for that. God doesn't show me favour all the time. Wat to do..

 

Thank you so much Pavi,...

I like the last two lines.. Well said.. We have to talk. But when we start it ends up with a fight. That is the problem
In every family women has to adjust everything.. Silence is the best treatment as for now.

 

Hi Usha,bluemoongirl,

I accept you both. Well said.I will surely change myself..
But he should also think that much.. Eventhough he is 30 he is feeling very bad when his mom is not near. He forget that he is a family man and didnt discuss anything with me,
I have no rights to ask anything.
But as you said I need lots n lots of patience to accept him. That is long term process. I m changing my mind towards my kid. I dont know any other clue.