Different values

Oh no, I did a write up of this whole thing and the page cleared when i hit submit and said i need to login agian. anyway to be short

I'm so losing my sanity and my mind! My husband has differing values than me. he feels like I should be an equal and active role in finances like paying the bills and savings. I do not have a problem in earning equally, i can do it if it is bound by love. This by itself is not worse, but this means I HAVE to work as long as we live together to earn my bread and if i end up not working, i should take care of everything at home and compensate for not working. this was not my understanding and culture while growing. The guy is the supporter of the family and this feeling is a security blanket for a women.
This would not even offend me if it was his ideplogy in all aspects. he thinks he is the "man" to his family and that he has responsibilty of taking care of them whereas not to his OWN family. He mentioned that its because he never even put the plate away after eating like a typical malayali guy. He says its different now because he helps do the dishes sometimes and does his bathroom. He even mentioned that he does more than me in household which is NOT true, because he does not COOK period. I cook, pack his lunch, sometimes breakfast and make his favourites when I can. I think i can live without him not having to do dishes, or bathroom!
I think this is not fair. U gotta live with your values no matter what the situation is. if anything, he has more responsinility to his own family than anyone else.
All this came up because I wanted to have my little savings ouut of the moey I bring home (like 20% of money) i might not even use it, thts like for emergencies. Now he wants to ahve his own a/c, and everything. this is inspite of the fact that he does not want to add me to his savings he has had since before marriage. thts because its "before" and i dont hav a say.
i want to walk out of everything. the reason i even want to live is my immediate family mom dad etc.
any help is appreciated. If u think im wrong pls explain patiently, as im broken already and dont want to feel worse.

 

thanks for ur reply. i gotta admit he is responsible. My 2 concerns:
as a typical son, he gets to supprt his parents later in life. But my problem is that, I dont get to do that because Im a GIRL!! and my paretns would not even like it. Is it wrong, that i want to help my parents financially to some extent? They do not have regular earnings, they sacrificed their life in raising 4 gals, got 4 girls married in a grand manner!! So by saving some money like a parrot I think i can help my paretns in future. I do not want to have all the money for myself, i earn almost as much as he does. all i need is a little bit of the money i earn like 200$ a month!!
2) he awes at any jewellery i buy and says and thinks its tooo expensive and looks at it like its waste of money. this is another reason i want to put some money away so i can spend at my independence.
being a guy he wont even add me to his savings ebfore marriage! u think thats reasonable?
my other whole problem is that he acts like his family comes first (mom and sisters) after which his own family comes (he tells opposite and behaves differently)! i find that hurting for a person who moved all the way quitting my job for him.
we are planning for kids so i do not want to jeopardise anything either as its easy for him to say lets put it off, but I know abt biological clock,

 

Spidy.
our marriage is very strong far beyond your doubt. EVery couple has ups and downs and I think we are better for 2 years of marriage. anyway thanks.

 

thanks...your replies help me feel like its not the end of the world...i admit i get too passionate sometimes
we have been married 2 years now. he does tell me in advance abt stuff he plans to do
thanks for your replies.