Pz..help me out...Pz

Hi Tanu,
your problem is one that most DILs face. It is quite frustrating to experience this kind of behaviour day in and day out.
You say when you complain to your husband, he doesn't believe you. So first thing stop complaining.
Second thing, ignore what your MIL is doing. Concentrate on your husband.when your husband comes home let your MIL go into the kitchen and you go to the front door to welcome hubby dear. Ask him about his day, tell some good things about yours.
While your MIL is sleeping, you can prepare something really nice for your husband and invite your MIL to share. Make a huge show of how much you care about her. Even if it's your MIL who does the cooking, be the first to serve to your DH.

Tanu, your marriage is still very young.It took me 10 years to get my husband to treat me even fairly.

 

Tanu, you have the best actor at home.. your MIL... you need to learn her tactics & bring them in life to deal with the son and house she's brought up all this while.

Most of the son's are not ready to hear truth abu their family & this is basic thumb rule, either you sugar coat and put it across or gulp it down as a bitter gourd juice its all upto you.

 

When your mil behaves good to you in front of your dh, you also behave good with her. If she pretends to cook in the kitchen, when your dh arrives, dont complain to him but tell your dh in a diplomatic way that see your mother is so sweet ,the moment she saw you coming , she immediately went to the kitchen. Please tell your mother not to do this. Tell him that you are not a king or something that your mother has work in the kitchen as soon as she sees you.Talk in a joking manner. Talk in such a way that your dh knows her reality. But for that you have to be extra sweet.

 

Dear Tanu,
First of all you need to understand something..He is her son first.You need to develop a thick skin and also do some sneaky stuff.

Cook something nice while she was sleeping. As sooon as he comes home..present it with great fanfare "amma since you were resting I decided to surprise you !!"

Call him while she is sleeping and if he asks.."O she is resting for the past hr.She gets tired.So I decided to all work today."

You have to be a good politician and a great diplomat at the same time....

Maybe by the end of it ..all of us should get a job at the UN!!!:rotfl

FL

 

FL: You are so funny!!

Tanu, I have zero experience with such MILs because my MIL is a good one.
Anyway, may be you should not complain to your dh. If she taunts you then talk back to her but politely. I mean you disagree with her but don't disrespect her.

 

Ya foundlove you really made me laugh by your last statement.

 

Super ideas by Shilpa and FL

Yes instead of sulking in anger and pain, take up steps to address her with her own tricks. also when your husband is around, be at your best drama of buttering up your MIL and act all nice and be super duper respectful for her!!! come on...cheer up and no point in crying over such things...last but not least, never ever complain to him about his own mom...no one beleives it. If he had beleived it, his mom wouldnt have acted all this while. so start taking up acting

 

FL .. Maybe by the end of it ..all of us should get a job at the UN!!!

This was cool.. :rotfl

Tanu, yep most MILs pass such comments that we're disturbing child for our comfort when the truth is they also need comfort & they mould child as per their comforts. Consult your MIL as to what should be your son's sleep timings and you adjust yours with that. Motherhood is biggest adjsutment of life.

As a result I have no "Sleeping time" for my kids, its a la-carte for them, more you let you know your MIL what irritates you she shall do it more, even if am irritated I never let her know but just try to find an alternate route or activity to keep me happy. I never complained as to what time the child shud sleep.. now when the child howls in night noise is not getting restricted to 1 BR.. as houses these days are not castles anymore... After 2+ yr they develop their own patterns of sleep and play.

Once the child is up and you're tired after returning from work, find it as an opportunity to spend time with him which would have been missed if he were sleeping.. lie down for 10-15 mins, keep the child in parallel / ontop/ lap. According to me I shall be happy to hold a baby who's done full rest prior to my arrival as compared to a cranky one who'd been running around like an exhausted flying machine :bonk. As per my expericene they want minimum 1/2 hr of full dedication and then they just get off you... treat that 1/2 hr as extended office hr.