Please advise me how to set my boss straight........my dh is my boss at work......

I will first give an introduction of my situation here and please advise me.

My husband and I went to same college and same university. We knew each other since college days. We had love marriage. Now, we both work in the same company as Chem.Engg. My husband is my boss at work.

Last month there was an opening for a position in the company. I had all the required credentials for the post and so I applied. There was internal selection and my dh was in charge of it.
Including him there were 2 others who were involved in the selection procedure.

I was betting for that and to my shock I was not selected. A bigger shock came when a person below my position and totally different area of work got selected. I could not sit quiet as I felt that too much discrimination. I fixed an appt. with my boss's boss and talked to him. My boss's boss called for a meeting and demanded an explanation for it from my boss ie., dh for not selecting me and taking someone with lesser credentials and who has not even worked in that area earlier.

To my horror, dh explained his boss and convinced him finally that I was not a better fit than the other person. For me, it seemed he gave all vague reasons and could get through with his boss. He started connecting all totally unrelated things like the other guy who got selected was awarded. I agree but I argued that it was not for this area of work and I was the one who knows the in and out of the current job. If award is all that matters then what about the yearly report of mine that says I have done outstanding work in this very field of work.
Dh came up with stupid reasoning of his and his boss got finally convinced by him. I was very angry but controlled a lot.
It looked like he was the one who over ruled other 2 in the selection team. Everyone in the office knows that the one who got selected is my dh's buddy since college times.
I just did not want to work with this boss anymore so I requested for transfer to another department citing that as my interest but last week my boss (dh) turned it down saying he needs me in this department and so cannot shift me.

Now, I am still thinking on what happened. I think I should take this to HR and file a complaint and fight for it. I know my boss's (dh) boss is also not fully convinced but seems to just let go this and leave it there since I am not fighting for it. I feel like talking to him once more on this. But again, trying to figure out how to go about since we already had a exhaustive meeting on this and I came out unsuccessful to get him to my side.

Dh is a very shrewd guy and I need to be very careful in dealing with this issue. He is smart in talking and can convince and make others get to agree his point.
Though we both got into job at the same time, he got ahead of me only due to his smart talking skills. He is not worth more than me at work. Sometimes, Believe me, I wish he was fired from his job.

I asked couple of my friends for advise and each one says differently. One of them said I should fight for it while the other asks me to give up this thought or look for another job and resign this one.
This one is a decent paying one with lot of perks and long term benefits. I simply do not want to quit this good job that I have.

At home, we never talk about office. We never do that since we resolved that the moment we both landed at the same office.
ILites, Please advise me. Also, though my husband is my boss and I want to set my boss straight but I don't want to hamper my family life too. Again, I don't want to tolerate his dirty play at work. He is blocking me everywhere at work. I am in a fix.
Please don't ask me to leave the job as one of my friends suggested, since this is a really good one and I am in a good position. I aspire to go up in this company and my dream is to be my boss's boss......aha!!!

Can I achieve this without causing rift in my family life? Has anyone gone through this and how did you deal with it?


Neena

 

Re: Please advise me how to set my boss straight........my dh is my boss at work.....

I forgot to tell we have kids aged 8 and 5yrs old. Both are going to school.
At home dh helps me in any possible work and we share all the house work. It is only at work he is my enemy no.1.....:rant
Due to the what happened with me at work recently and my dh more involved in this, I am not peaceful mentally these days.

 

Re: Please advise me how to set my boss straight........my dh is my boss at work.....

Priya,
That position will take me up one step higher though it does not place me equally with dh . Yes, definitely my workload will be more compared to the present but I was willing to take it and that is why I applied. My pay will also increase.

Sometimes, I try to see the positive as you said but again sometimes I think after that my next level, if I get a chance,will be at par with dh and may be, am not sure, may be he does not want to see me there......

I am not able to guess properly now what he is trying to do for me. We never really talk at home regd work and so I can never bring it up with him.

 

Re: Please advise me how to set my boss straight........my dh is my boss at work.....

If my current boss is not my husband then my first step would be to approach HR on this.
I am hesitating to take that step because he is my husband which is my bad luck.

Thanks Pepper for the suggestions. I will think over those.

 

Re: Please advise me how to set my boss straight........my dh is my boss at work.....

Yes, I don't get that why he is stopping me from going to different dept.
Actually, I have talked to the team there though not officially and they seem fine. What is my boss's problem?? I don't get it!
He can weave anything good enough for others to fall for it and he went ahead and convinced the other team as to my requirement here.
I feel I am being blocked everywhere by him. I have not taken any steps just because of my family. I fear that may affect my family life with him.