Dear Friends, honestly don't make that mistake. If you would have said to me the same five years back, I would have just ignored you. But not any more. Being living in Europe for 17 years, we always miss India that too Tamil nadu, our culture, our festivals, our people, our Tamil etc.etc. At one point, two years back we decided to go back to Chennai and slowly settle down there. As I could not wind up quickly due to my job, my husband and two kids went there. Son started going to an international school and daughter to college, husband started searching for a consultancy work to be occupied.. first few months...fantastic...in fact i was so eager to go as early as I can. Slowly we started realising that you need to have boxes and boxs of rupees for everything, diwali is not celebrated the way we use to celebrate, it is hard to see neighbours, even then,,, just a smile... no hearty talk... the moment, you say that you are from abroad, everything cost a lot... we have become 5 years older to search for everything, follow ups, find a driver every two months, velaikari...****....cleanliness is out of question...horrible.... on top.... relatives...they are not the same as you think....no reciprocation....now...we strongly said to ourselves....shut up...live a calm live here though it is boring, you are left all alone, you feel lonely...etc. as we felt the same in chennai unless we make efforts to go out and spend money.... an year after, my son could not stand the mentality, and he came back and we are winding up soon.... PLEASE do not do the mistake.... think 1000 times before you leap.... India will never develop as long as peoples' mentality stays the same....
nalini, I hear you when you say take time, think before you decide or leap. that is one thing i always tell the people who say they are planning to return back. ... we left the country, in the early 90's when we were not even considered a developing nation and today we are a power to reckon with. so isn't it unfair, to think india would be in the same time warp that we left. During our vacations, we are so busy with including lots of dos in the time frame, that we did not take the time to read the picture better. I recently heard one friend's anger... her BIL and wife had come in for the vacation, after 2 years. and the wife has commented, not bad, you have a lcd and a car. the friend said, why is that people forget that we are also working equally hard and going ahead with life in all aspects. But there is one thing that surprises me even today after 3/4 years. the way people spend be it weekly outings, dresses. while the counterparts (NRI) save so much by penny pinching and things.. i wonder if we are missing something, in the whole process. I always suggest, come in for a vacation, do everything on your own without depending on your people in india, to understand if you can adjust and acclimate with what is the actual truth..something like removing the tinted glasses and finding out the real color. well you experience is to be taken with a pinch of salt for every aspirant. but these days, many do go through this process step by step, with all the pros and cons and the anticipations and expectations and the disappointments.
Hi Shanti Its a nice thread. Many thanks for initiating it. Thought we havent R2Ied yet, we will be doing it in 3/4 years time, hence thought of adding my points here for first 2 ques. 1. what was the motivation or the real reason to return to india and when did you return and from where? Want to bring up the kid with Indian values and culture and be closer with dear / near ones,to have sense of belonging. 2. Did you return with school going kids? Yes , my daugther is 5 years old now, studying in a class equivalent to UKG . Having said that, I have a question here, could somebody please reply - My daughter would be in 6th std in 2015. Initially we thoughtof moving to India when she is ready for 4th std/5th std thinking sooner we go it would be easy for her to adjust, But we have a doubt whether joining a kid in 6th std would be easier as we plan to choose schools which offer french as second language. (as mentioned in some other thread, I guess SBOA, st.michael's academy, Brittos have tht option) If we move for 4th/5th std, will it be tough for her as those classes may have some other languages as part of curriculum? Please pour your ideas.
goldstar, sorry for the late reply. missed this thread. All the best to your R2I. please, do not think that only if you are back in chennai, that you can raise your kiddo in traditional values. as a r2i i will vouch that we did a better job when we were abroad then now, maybe it was because of the invisible yardstick we set for ourselvses as i discussed earlier. regarding kids adjusting to the school environment. did you check out my thread on the new grading system in the schools thread under chennai, you need not worry. kids to pick up new languages easily. and with a little help from you and the teacher she will do well. i know parents who put their kids straight into tamil as second language when they returned with a 3rd/4th std kiddo. the kid is doing very well. on top of it, CBSE is already on the lines of discussing and coming to a MOU with most educational systems around the world which includes us and uk. so we can see something universal and easier when you plan to return back. who knows by 2015 returning will be a breeze.
Many thanks for your reply, Shanti. I hope your words regarding (change in CBSE that would ease up kids adjusting to Indian education )come true yeah, I saw your another thread regd grading system - to be honest, I couldnt get much of it, may have to read it again. I have studied tamil as second language, answers and essays we used to write were so big, hands would be so tired at the end of the exam. I have heard from my friends who studied french as second language said it isnt the case with french, french is easy to learn and help in score more marks than tamil/hindi. Is that true ? Do you/anybody have any idea? also, one more question - Does the kid need to undergo any entrance exam (i think so) if she has to join 4/5/6th std? Do all schools follow this entrance exam and admit kids as per the scores sincerely Or only recommendation would help ?
Goldstar, I hear from my dd that french is easier for her. earlier she was leanring hindi as her second language. but all of it lies in the hands of a good french teacher. to be honest, i don't know how the admissions are done anymore. yes there is a entrance but these days many schools are fleecing the parents whether they are residents or returning indians. I hope there is a uniform policy and at least few people get to enjoy the benefits.
I completely agree with you,nalinamani. I think people abroad somtimes think they are missing on festivals, Family get togethers etc. But,actually, all of these things have changed a lot in India now. Like you say,neighbors in India too act as those abroad-just a smile and Hi/Hello. first few months are terrific in India as we enjoy the company of our near and dear ones. What you have written is something EXACTLY what my Sister in law went through. They went to India thinking 'home' after 8 years in US with kids aged 4 and 7and they got the same 'cold' treatment. NOONE cared. Ofcourse, it is not right of us to expect them to care either. But,more than all this the unclean environment is what irked them. And guess what, they have decided to move back to US:thumbsup Also, kids tend to have much more peer pressure to perform at schools. I agree to what you say about people's mentality. India is definitely developing in terms of technology or economy or whatever EXCEPT the mentality of some Indians(who may always remain like that!!!). R2I may have worked well for many but am sure it did not work for some others who never come up here and say things like you have said(obviously!!!). Good Luck to you!!!
Thanks for the feedback. Good luck in your move back to Europe. As far as relatives go, everyone has their own life, priorities and challenges. We cannot expect them to suddenly wait on us after we have been out of their lives and radar for more than a decade. Just my opinion.
If we are going to India for relatives, then better not go, yes there are lot of disappointments in Indian life. But to live entire life abroad is not everyones cup of tea too.. I feel in India we enjoy smallest things more, for e.g a nice car will give much pleasure in India than driving a mercedes abroad.. JMO... Challenges are there but so are advantages of Indian life..
