what is married life ?

padmaiyangar · Aug 2, 2007

Dear IL friends,

Marriage is not just coming together of two individuals. There is much more to it. To sustain a marriage it is important that there is effort from both sides to carry on.
A successful marriage is like a good recipe whose main ingredients are love, commitment, understanding, concern and togetherness. If we include these aspects in our married life we can find happiness in marriage.

When we talk about mental compatibility between husband and wife we have seen that not only in case of arrange marriage this problem exist where both of them were unknown to each other before marriage but even after many years of courtship in love marriages this problem exist because when we meet before marriage we are at our best to impress the other person. And we start accepting each other the way we like to see each other.

But gradually after marriage when we slip into our natural self that time we have to accept each other as we are. And in most of the cases the real self is not what we wanted to see and then begins the contradiction with the person whom we have loved and with whom we have to spend life. So it's important that if you love a person love him or her the way he or she is and not the way you want him or her to be. Then you can be happy.

A happy married life calls for constant commitment and concern for each other. There are few small and minute aspects, which we have not to forget in our married life, as we get busy with the daily chores. So at times it is important to indulge in those minute details of a married life, which will constantly remind each other of the love and concern being present.

Barnett Brickner, said that "Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate."

with regards
more on this subject from my loved one IL friends,
"

Sindhuja · Aug 2, 2007

Good post! Thanks for sharing this message with us.

puni88 · Aug 3, 2007

Hi,
Very true..
In married life, love, compromise, adjustment, concerns are very important.

~Punitha

srilak · Aug 3, 2007

HI,

Yes what u said is true....

Now, I started understanding my husbend..after 5years of marriage....when we live together we should understand the person from deep inside...I think.

In my mothers case, I think she understood my father very well. She had known that what situation my father acts violently, what makes him angry and what makes him feel sorrow.....but they had their differences..however truely I can say they are the perfect(sometime not so perfect) couple ever be.

roopadadia · Aug 3, 2007

This is very true.

I would say patience also plays an important role in married life. Also, many a times it so happens that we feel we now know our spouse very well and behold the very next day something happens and you see a new side or rather a new avtar of your spouse.

As such any human being is unpredictable. You never know when, where, how they will react to a particular situation.

Roopa.

Kavisriguru · Aug 6, 2007

Good thought. One thing I would like to say is whatever happens have one point in mind that " at the end of the day both r wellwisher of eachother".:thumbsup

Kavitha

vaidehi · Aug 6, 2007

Hi all!

Indeed i too agree with ilites that marraige is a scared institution where u have to constantly keep loving,adjusting and selflessly working towards making it happen without expecting anything in return.

Cheers
vaidehi

kusum26 · Aug 7, 2007

hi

Friends, First of all I would like to introduce myself as a new members and say hi to all.

I am kusum, living in India . I am a working woman of 36 years of age, working as a Exe. Secy to CMD in a Ltd firm . Married having two daughters.

I do agree with the comments given by you all in the matter, but do I ask one thing from you , is each and every adjustment is the responsibility of a women partner......If so,why when woman is also playing a vital role now a days , they are also going out for work , earning same....

Then still why everything is expected from woman...

Dear friends , now a days i was very tense so i am sharing this with all of you, please advise ..

I got married of my own - an intercast marriage, somehow i have passed my 15 years in joint family. Now we are staying separate, I had a dream after having our own house life will be smooth my hubby will pay more attention to me but still he is always busy in either TV, FM OR friends.

He is always having a habit of going with friends every weekend, which I don't like and get irritated resulting in quarrel at home and disturbing kids etc, I request your opinion if I am wrong please guide me ...

I seriously need help, otherwise now a days I don't like him and same with him. How to improve our terms.

Hope your advise soon

Regards
Kusum

babyraji · Aug 7, 2007

hi all
gd post indeed.i read somewhere which i wuld like 2 share with u all,marriage completly depends on how both the partners accept each other after having kids.bcoz prior 2 this both of them r at theirbest 2 impress each other but after the marriage the reality starts unfolding itself.
n i beleive tht even if v say better half 2 our husbands,they r far more better in most of the fields.
bye
raji

Anandchitra · Aug 9, 2007

dear padma
great topic and writing. i am now maried for almost 24 years and agree that it is about being there. i thank god that my husband is my friend and best friend too
regards
chitra