Is inviting friends necessary at this time??

It is not just about you and your hubby now.. It is also about celebrating your daughter's milestone in life.

I also see this as a way for you to get out of the horrible things that just happened. How long can you feel so ? However long, it will just be the you who is suffering. So, get over it and take charge of your life.

You can handle your issues with hubby in due time.

Do not cook, tell him you cannot manage cooking and are too tired for now.. You could order food fro outside. Just say that is all you will do. He needs a party to socialise and just to give them back food in return to what you have eaten in others house, then you could get it catered.

Just take help from close friends with the arrangements and return gifts. Or ask your hubby to buy the gifts himself. GIve him the list of kids who are attending the party. He just neednt keep blaberring abuses, he can work too isnt ? Get him involved.

 

I would also say the same.

Keep your fights aside and celebrate your Daughter's Bday.As parents you need to fulfill your duties towards her.

Get your hubby involved in the preparation as he has equal responsibility towards the kids.

 

Please do not mess up the joy of celebrating your child's b'day with the quarrels with your DH. I am sure heart in heart you must be willing to celebrate it. But the present tense circumstances are so bad that you are not able to decide. As others have suggested, take your husband's help, make him involved in the preparations, or may be you may have things more to do, but at least not have the guilt of not celebrating the kids b'day. He may take it as returns for what all you have eaten at others place, but you must take it as celebrating in real sense.

Because of your tensions, you may feel tired and not like to work, but if you think it is celebrating the kid's b'day, you will get the energy to do it.

Moreove, it sounds from your posts that whether or not you wish, it is your DH's wish and ultimately you will have to do it , otherwise you have to keep hearing those insensible things. So better celebrate the little one's b'day, who has given you the joy of motherhood.

love and Happy B'day to your daughter,

 

I also feel you should not take it out on your child just because you are feeling down/moody/angry/etc. It will start bad memories for your kid and those do not go away. I had a mother who always had some excuse about her moods to not do this and that but of course plenty of energy to do as she felt and that is what I remember about her and not some other better stuff. Be warned.

If you are just too tired and overwhelmed to do a home party, do what others do: throw money at it meaning go to Chuckie Cheese or some other place that kids can have parties and do that. Then just get any little mementoes and of course your kids presents and you are done. Little kids love that kind of stuff as it is out of the home routine. Your husband wants to pressure he can pay for it (literally).

 

Your situation sounds exactly like my best friends:hide: her husband is also like this. When he says something it has to happen right there on the moment infront of him in his presence. Its sooo annoying.:bonkeven to see such bossism or dont care attitude.

However she doesnt say much. she just does what he wants at that time or keeps quiet without answering. its like a battle...where he wants to see whether he still has the upperhand in the house or not.

mgiht be next time when you are doing something and your husband repeats any such thing, hand over the work in your hand to your husband and do the stuff he is suggesting. dont go back to the work you were doing initially, let him complete it. tell him thats the deal and see how he reacts:crazyEither he has to wait for you to complete what you are doing (incase if he doesnt want to complete it) or he has to take up the work you are doing and complete it while you are doing what he is suggesting. explain with cool voice...dont raise voice or make it argumentative

 

Why the hell should he hit you along with all the mental stress. Just try out the way suggested by Shrividya.

I would also suggest you to rise a bit above your tensions and study his nature and actions and reactions to things, figure out how he can be tackeled. It so happens that just to avoid that momentary outburst or tussel, the girl generally gives in. She has so much fear inside that she cannot see things beyond that moment, gets so used to it. In the process she will not realise that as the years pass, she teaches the same thing to the children, who learn to be afraid of the boss of the house. I have seen women regretting in the later years of life that they could not do justice to their children.

Let your home be a home, not the empire of a dictator. I am not asking you to rebel, that is not the way. But think beyond the moments of dread and fear and take care that you bring up your child in a good atmosphere. If you simply keep surrendering to the momentary tussels to keep off the worse, you will be taken for granted.

So just strengthen yourself mentally, learn to live like a human being, not a slave or a maid. You have to help yourself, others can give suggestions and guidance.

love

 

LiveLife,

I agree with SriVidya,Apart from that see these will help you anyway.

Try to put elder one in day care atleast couple of hours and you can get some rest while younger one sleeping.Don't try to overdue things.If you think your stretching yourself,morning itself give headsup to your husband saying that you can't do somethings for that day.You need to satify there ego by like taking the permission thing.

Definitly you need to see outside world with this kind of husband.See you can register in any yoga class that would help you lot.

Don't think about the money.If you want to ordre food,do so.Handover kids to husband and take long baths and enjoy.Slowly encourage older one to spend time with father.Tell your husband she been asking you .

If you have worked before,please try to look for another job after you new born get little older.For women especially with this kind of husband always job helps a lot.