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Younger sister turning boastful,proud.

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by Vedhavalli, Jun 2, 2015.

  1. sanjuruby3

    sanjuruby3 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi OP

    I could not answer to your post the day I read but came back today. Someone in thread used perfect word - honeymonn with foreign country period.
    She is newly married and in the luxuries from tough life of auto rickshaws, buses. It is temporarily. Soon reality kicks in.

    Probably I was doing similar things when I came to US...talking about 'its not india' in every discussion. I understand people in India take it offensive. But it goes away after sometime. Soon maturity comes, real marriage starts..she will need ears and shoulders and there is no one better than a sister then.

    I know you miss her being sister but there is not much you can do. Make your self busy in family. She will come back to you.

    One more thing, about her always being online but not pinging you first. In western countries( atleast in US), we have wifi all the time so we are logged in all the time, through all the gadgets ( phone, laptop, tab) and also people have more screen time and surf more. So may be..may b.. she is just using computer, surfing or away but not actually chatting. You can casually ask, I seen you online all the time? u on computer all the time?

    Just to tell you, I had somewhat similar situ with my baby sister ( in india), I am still waiting for her to come back and start talking about her life problems. Its part of life.
    After I started ignoring about my siblings ignoring act towards me, I am far more happier.
     
  2. Rise

    Rise Platinum IL'ite

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    next time u say to her something and atlast say... OH you are not in india
     
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  3. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    @Vedhavalli,

    She is your sister and she faced a lot of struggle prior to her marriage and now she is having a great time. You and your husband did a great job helping your younger sister when she most needed help. She is now happily settled. Why don't you leave her alone?

    Frankly, when someone settled down after troubled period, they like to forget the past and people associated with that period. Similarly, when someone is well settled after repeated help from you, you might also feel bad as you got the best attention from her when she needed you most. I have seen this happening too often. May be you are reading too much into her actions. She is your younger sister. Let it go. You did help her without any expectations and therefore the purpose is served. Take it easy and enjoy your great life instead of sweating over this small stuff. Let her come back to you when she needs you. When that happens, her conscience will prick her.

    Forgive me if anything I said here is hurtful. When I read your post as a third party, it sounded too negative on her.

    Viswa
     
  4. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Platinum IL'ite

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    @sanjuruby3 Thanks for sharing your life experiences.


    @Viswamitra ya may be i was lil negative, but words we should use must not too hurtful to others.

    Thanks all frnds for leaning your ears to me.


     
  5. sunset27

    sunset27 New IL'ite

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    Hi,

    I'm really sorry you're in this situation and I can kind of emphathize, although not entirely... I wont lie, but I am scared that my sister will turn into this some day.

    How old is your sister? Mid-20s, early 30-s?! First time abroad? She will learn the ways and be respectful of you and your parents. I believe so. When I moved out of India to study, I was 22 and was independent and I contacted my parents just once a week and it just felt like a job, I don't think I really felt like I wanted to know about them. But, I have lived out for too long now and each time I come back, I realise how much more I had here, parents, relatives, friends here, siblings etc. Staying out by myself taught me this. May be she will learn this soon too. Just give it some time. I know it is hard and esp when the behaviour is same towards your DH. I have seen ppl recognising the importance of relationships and being home and all the luxury we have in India. Myself included, I took some time to realise this. You sister is just starting her life, she is young, let her live her life the way she wants. Everybody takes different time periods to learn. You sister will. Believe in this. How is her DH? Is he encouraging this?
    I'm glad in a way that your parents are not aware of this, or they would be so hurt!
    Good luck OP!
    I hope she realises importance of relationships soon!
     
  6. CuteCancer

    CuteCancer Silver IL'ite

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    @Vedhavalli - Your sister can make you feel low only if you let her. You have already listed all the positives in your life then why are you feeling low?

    From your description I think she would have felt a little jealous of you before and now wants you to feel jealous of her now . This is just temporary situation just ignore her hurtful comments and focus on living happily.
     
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  7. Sri2196

    Sri2196 Silver IL'ite

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    It hurts if it is your OWN sister who does all this.but ignore her for sometime.surely she will ping you someday.when you feel depressed,spend some time with your kid.so chill.Remember, sorrow and happiness don't last long
     

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