Yes, baby! You are on the right path ..mwah mwah!

Uttaraa · Jun 10, 2012

I'm shattered! I'm deeply hurt! I don't think I can ever come out of this!

(Remember..babysteps..one day at a time..don't think too much what is gonna happen in the future..the only thing you should be worried..do you have breakfast in fridge for tomorrow for you to sustain?)

Been a week?! It is killing me ... ripping me apart ... wonder if all the suffering and ache of the world is soldered in that little heart of mine. Why me? Why me of all the billion people in the world?

(You are just experiencing what any normal human with emotions will be go through, just hold on sweetie. You are chosen for a reason, trust me)

It has been a month; my work is keeping me sane. Joined gym to lose nasty flab. But I still cry my heart out - I don't know what pains me more - is it the loss or me being lost? Am I going to die as a fat, ugly, cantenkerous lady who scares the neighbourhood kids? Is that what it has come to? This is not what I dreamt of and definitely not the fairy tale I spun.

(You are doing just fine. Aha! You are on the recovery mode and taking the right steps. Your fairy tale is just beginning. Did you say gym? Brill! Just keep going, don't turn back)

3 months and I'm packing stuff. Old memories - the scars are still fresh but the scabs are pealed to reveal distant hurt. I refurbished my residence. Brilliant colors and danzling splendour to make me feel good! I am working like someone possessed! Erm.. changing jobs ... changing roles ... evolving into something I've never seen myself before.

(Oh babykins! Pour your heart out in work. You are on the right path! Being a workoholic at this stage means the worst is over! The past is fading! )

6 months and I'm sewing my splintered dreams to travel alone in this journey. I want to own a place. I want to commit to things greater than my reach. There is something in me that is keeping me going. Don't know where this strength is coming from. Is it from that small-town-girl who dreamt that life is beautiful?

Aiming higher, being fearless, finally I buy a 3-bedroom house. Hop in and hop out of the airport -travelling crazy to places I have never known existed. Making friends and meeting people I never knew carried so much warmth. I dress up with the locals, party with the gang and sway to the tunes in life. There is something that is guiding me - a hand that is pushing me & breeze that is sweeping me.

(Bubbles..you are on the right track..enjoy! The world is at your feet)

One year on - I confess I think I have a BIG crush. Hug you pie! You are the best friend I could ever have! I'm always there for you as your punching bag..erm..and that was the 15th time you are having crush on me since college. Don't ever tell this to your man!

(Oh lambkin! You are almost here..being yourself again but this time with renewed verve and zeal who kisses the mirror and says 'Good m'ng sunshine')

2 years roll by and I have greater commitments, bigger goals and ambitious plans while holding the blueprint of (shush later) to cinch by the end of this year.

Call me super-sexy and I laugh! Call me crazy pumpkin and I snicker! Oh beg me and I still can't be your date for tonight. Serenade me, I still don't awe at your Harvard degree. Pick me in your Mercedes for Italian dinner, I'm still not impressed! Ask me what I want and I tell you little more than what you are

I love ma life. I love everything around me. I love the wonderful people. I s-o-o-o-o wanna fall in love again!
(Yes baby! You are on the right path ..mwah mwah! Didn't I tell you to trust me - you were chosen!)

Dedicated: To my rambunctious rugrats! Love ya dudettes. :kiss (and everyone else who knew me more than I knew myself)
(the italicized version is ma inner spirit and various people talking to me at different times :mrgreen: )

Srama · Jun 11, 2012

Dear Uttara,

reading your snippet I know

Yes, baby! You are on the right path ..mwah mwah!
Click to expand...

you are, on the right path I mean! How can it be otherwise? You have taken the right steps so far and I know you will continue to!

Ask me what I want and I tell you little more than what you are
Click to expand...

Not yet the right one??? I know you know better. Best wishes always. Probably what you are looking for will surface at alater time and you can see it later if he is the right one!

And oh BTW let me tell you, I did look up

rambunctious
Click to expand...

and the meaning is elusive again as I type now! Nope, I don't give up and found the meaning If I didn't do that would that be a Uttaraa post?

Loved reading your snippet, loved the style even more - can't tell you how much I enjoyed for I even sensed your upbeat and happy state! May it continue always! Hope to see you more dear!

Sriniketan · Jun 11, 2012

Uttara,
Glad to see that I am also one of the ones chosen to read this snippet of yours
Swift, from the beginning till the end.
You are on the right path, no doubt..leading us to one, with full enthu.

Sriniketan

Shanvy · Jun 11, 2012

Oh boy! Oh boy! please get me that old edition of the oxford dictionary for reference.

Uttara dear,

you definitely made me sit up and tell myself "Look at this post, oozing out so much positivity and clarity and goals gal"

And i wish you a lot of great time with your special rambunctious rugrat ..

(P.S..there were only few people in IL who made me grab the old dictionary, one is no more active as she transitioned from being the girl to a wife and mother..and few more..now you join the list)

Pallavi4me · Jun 11, 2012

This is one master piece of writing Uttara.

Happy to read this.. Good luck on your journey. :thumbsup

Megalife · Jun 11, 2012

Hi Uttara
What a prodigious feat, incredibly hot thread ! Well deserved nomination!
Mega

Saraswathipv · Jun 11, 2012

Hi Uttaraa,

Loved your style of writing. I read it again and again, and as most times, am at loss of words to give you the feedback.
But I had to step in to convey my happiness after reading this

I love ma life. I love everything around me.
Click to expand...

Great buddy . Thats the way it should be..and yes, you are very much on the right path.
You will be more happier as years roll by.

bye

Saraswathipv · Jun 11, 2012

Shanvy said: ↑

(P.S..there were only few people in IL who made me grab the old dictionary, one is no more active as she transitioned from being the girl to a wife and mother..and few more..now you join the list)
Click to expand...

Shanthi, I guess you are refering to Ramya ! How is she doing ?
You are so right about using the dictionary

Uttaraa · Jun 11, 2012

Srama,

An uncanny feeling that you would be the first one to respond to the thread..

Well..well..there were too many startling things in the post for you to comprehend; lest you think that my id has been compromised, I had to leave my signatory style at the end. Yeh yeh it is still me ...

Oh sweetie...ma man is just lurking around eluding me. The day I meet him gonna holler - 'what took you so long'? And he is gonna smirk and say..

(Somebody please open the windows ..it is getting sweltering hot in here!)
(I seriously need to stop reading those juvenile M&Bs now ..)

Srama, you are an awesome guide to anyone. I could sense that. And after this period of lull when the next ugly and ferocious problem roars its head..I know where to go running!

Thanks a lot for that day-making feedback of you!

Uttaraa · Jun 11, 2012

Oh Srini..

You are definitely a 'chosen one'. Chosen to be the one who always brings a sparkle on the face on reading your feedback!

I hope ma all girl band co-peformer for Christmas jingles is doing alright!

Thank you for being a fantastic cheerleader! If not for people like you there would be no dreams, no aspirations and no larger-than-life posts to write here in IL...-)