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Would You Do It?

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by soulful, Jan 19, 2017.

  1. soulful

    soulful Platinum IL'ite

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    Idealism and Realism very often clash.

    Idealism is when your brain and ego is drowning in alcohol, and everything appears rosy. Realism is when hangover hits you like a ton of bricks Or, as in my case, Mountains.

    So why am I rambling on? Nope, I am not high, in fact I just got hit by the Himalayas! I'll tell you the HOWs and the WHYs, but first a little background -

    A middle class student going to the US for higher education means, more often than not, his/her family has scratched the bottom to send their kid abroad, for a brighter future. And that is, after all the scholarships and loans that the student could muster. I have always been in awe of the tenacity that these students display coming to a foreign land with a couple 1000$ and a suitcase. I can't hear enough stories of their experiences. Like a kid who wants to hear the same bed time story over and over again, I pester my DH to tell me about his life, work and experiences as a international student and God Bless him, he almost always obliges. He has repeated his stories so many times, I promise, even his words have been memorised. But, I digress...

    So, like many others like him, he has done a lot of blue collar work, at catering companies and fast food chains, washing dishes, waiting tables, cleaning after the customer and what not, so that he is able to buy food and pay his rent, while attending classes. All those kinds of work, that we in India, think is for the lower classes. Perhaps you have got an idea where I am going with all of this and how it ties up with the Subject line.
    Anyhoo...The other day, I was on yet another of those trips on DH time machine. And in one wave of excitement (i am living vicariously through him, remember?), I exclaimed,

    "I wish I had also come to the US like you and worked these jobs".

    He simply said, "you can do that even now".

    That came as a bolt from the blue.....

    Yes, indeed I CAN! But WILL I do it? Will I mop the floors, clean the sink, and the bathroom that is not mine? This was when the aforesaid mountain hit. I have always liked to believe, I have high ideals. No work is big or small. But am i being honest about my ideals. Turns out, my actions don't match my thoughts. Of course, my ego can't accept the fact that i am a hypocrite, so it comes up with excuses -

    "If I were a student sure, I would have done it."

    "Now there is no financial need, he would not have done it either, if he had enough money..."

    your ego has a supernatural ability to defend your lousy pride.....

    So here I am, with my ideals one hand, my ego on the other and a darn opportunity to act as per my ideals, staring at my face. And I can't decide. So, What would YOU do? May the hangover :smash2:come before the high:beer-toast1:
     
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  2. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    That's a good one - May the hangover come before the high. : ) Like modern art - open to the viewer/reader's interpretation.

    "What would YOU do?" Did some such job when did not need the money. Was it fun? No. Was it easy? The job itself was easy but doing it was not easy. Would I do it again - Yes, but where I wouldn't run into folks we know. : )
     
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2017
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  3. SunPa

    SunPa Platinum IL'ite

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    Would I?
    Of course I would. But then I am a hypocrite so when the time comes, I might take a u-turn .:p
    Now I sit and preach to my daughter ( who is getting ready for college next year) , that if she really wants an overseas education, she has find ways to get the mulah.:smilingimp:
     
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  4. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    People do repetitive menial work in all countries. Especially in service establishments. When unskilled labor is cheap, they don't make enough money to save anything and pay for such luxuries as college expenses.

    When we are in some regular idly/dosa/vadai restaurant, like saravana bhavan, we can see young men, perhaps highschool or college-age, but looking much older than their age, walking around the tables as if they are in a state of stupor, taking orders, delivering plates of food, fetching water, cleaning tables. Once in a while, they'd go and lean across the chest high stone counters for pick-up, and get a break. Visiting NRI parents may point that to their children, and perhaps make a comment on how luck favors some and not many others.

    Children who grow up in cultures where teens and college-students-on-semester-break find part time work, it is quite normal to get a taste of service employment, as much for experiencing the vagaries of customer-service, as it is to make some pocket money. The children don't mind running into classmates, or aunties and uncles from their neighborhood. In fact, these are some of the nicest customers they'd have for serving.
     
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  5. soulful

    soulful Platinum IL'ite

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    I can explain what that means, but if it looks like modern art, I might as well keep it that way. That is the closest I have come to art, anyways :)

    How/why did you decide you want to do that job? And why would you do it again?
     
  6. soulful

    soulful Platinum IL'ite

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    Hehe.... good to know I have company. Best wishes to your daughter and her bright future.
     
  7. soulful

    soulful Platinum IL'ite

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    @Nonya

    True. One thing I have noticed is that in the US, there is no shame attached to menial jobs, whereas in India, even if the kid starts working before graduating college, people raise questions on parents' ability to provide. It is deep set mentality that will take time to change, as i am seeing in myself.
     
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  8. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    @soulful

    Congratulations for your post getting nominated to the FP section by @Rihana. I am glad I had the opportunity to read your wonderful thoughts. Maslow explains the hierarchy of needs of human beings into Physiological needs, Safety needs, Belonging and love needs, Esteem needs and Self actualization needs. When a person comes to the US to educate himself/herself, even though his/her ambitions are high, still, physiological needs like shelter, food and water are not met and hence he/she doesn't worry too much about the job he/she performs to achieve his/her goal.

    With due respect to the number of people who choose those careers to make a living, when adults migrate from other countries to educate in the US, their ambitions are different. If they are from an affluent family with enormous potential and access to cash, perhaps, those children would go to schools fully funded for education, boarding, lodging and transportation.

    There are many in America who work multiple jobs to save money to go to the college eventually and in some cases, they do even after marriage and children. I always carry an opinion whether a married woman works or not, she is invaluable part of the family as earning is only one part of living. At the same time, if one chooses to work, no job can be considered as menial. It is important for everyone to understand what needs are being fulfilled by choosing a career.

    Viswa
     
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  9. knbg

    knbg Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    A good post soulful..well worded..and a question that led me to some searching inward....
    Have done a few times, but then the ego in me interpreted the looks from known people as their recognition of my humility and I did bask on it ...haha the mind and it's ways...mmm...
     
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  10. soulful

    soulful Platinum IL'ite

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    HEllo VViswa Sir, Thank you very much for your response and for letting me know my post has been nominated. I have read many of your posts and have always got some pearls of wisdom to file away in my brain.

    I agree, when we can't depend on our moms to prepare our food and expect our dad to get the moolah, we tend to forget about the 'low classness' of the jobs we do. I appreciate the fact these people, (whether international or local students) do whatever it takes to attain their goals. They can always choose to stay in India, work but they don't! They take the difficult route. I always thought I would have the same strength of character if it comes to that. But what bothered me is that, I really don't. And it was difficult to accept. It still IS. I guess , that is one of the Prarabdha Karmas, I need to resolve in this lifetime.
     
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