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Worried after calling 911..... please help!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by emma83, Feb 16, 2016.

  1. emma83

    emma83 New IL'ite

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    Hello all!

    We have been married not very happily since the past 5 years. There were several arguments and abuses over the course of these 5 years. So we made a plan a year ago, to be together for the next 2-3 years and settle things for me in finding a job and in finding a good school for my kid. After that we decided to separate and eventually get a divorce.

    Meanwhile our visa's got processed. I moved a month back from US to India with my husband and kid. I only had a 50-50 mindset to move here because I have to quit my job and be idle here. Moved anyway for the sake of my kid. I am only in this marriage for my kid's well-being. Also the last week of our journey I had chicken pox and was not in any shape to travel, still travelled because of my husband's requests. (DH made several promises to take care of everything if I travel with him.Also if things don't work out he will book our tickets and help us move back to India)

    Within this 1 month (we are living in a hotel and will be moving to an apartment later this week), we had at-least 3 severe arguments and yesterday was the worst. I lost my patience completely because of the same fights happening over and over again.
    I said I will go back that very moment itself and asked DH to book the tickets. He kept provoking me and said he wouldn't help me anyway. Hurled a lot of abuses and curses at me.

    I was very frustrated with the same ordeal happening since more than 5 years and called 911. Cops came in and had a discussion with both of us separately. Gave us both a warning and said that the next time they get a call, one of us will be prisoned. Took both of our details.

    For now, I have decided to give it a month first to see how things go between us. I have prepared myself to leave at any point of time if things don't work out. There is still no change in my decision of separating from my husband, only the timeline may differ depending upon me getting an option to focus on my career here.

    What I want to know is:
    1. Did I make the right call?
    2. Because they gave us a warning, will they track us and check if there is any progress?
    3. Can this impact my child? Can they take my kid away from me?
    4. Can this be on papers and affect my prospects of getting a job here? Same for my husband, if he applied for a new job of visa renewal, will this cause any issue? (I want to end our marriage peacefully, can't create some issue for his career, can't have that on my conscience)
    5. Should I stay here and give it a chance or leave to India right away?

    Kindly please help me find a solution.

    Thank you all in advance!

    Kindly please also pray for my kid and myself. I have lost myself after marriage. I have no peace of mind. I need to get back up at least for my kid's well-being.

    Thanks again!
     
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  2. Amisafeinindia

    Amisafeinindia New IL'ite

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    Since you both want to separate amicably.....consult a marriage counselor and both should attend. Take counsellor's feedback and then proceed to the next step.
     
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  3. kimmy

    kimmy Bronze IL'ite

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    Did the cops take your SSN ? Warning wont reflect on your record. Dont call cops unless he is trying to physically abuse you.

    Pls focus on gettting a job and dont talk abt anything else and even if he is provoking u turn a deaf ear

    Just do think for ur kid. Seeing a cousellor can help in getting to the root cause
     
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  4. emma83

    emma83 New IL'ite

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    I don't have a SSN yet, I don't think his SSN was taken. Is seeing a counsellor mandatory?
     
  5. kimmy

    kimmy Bronze IL'ite

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    Its not mandatory as it was just a warning

    But based on ur situation its better u talk to a neutral party
     
  6. Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

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    Don't call the cops unless there is a physical abuse. Just calm down. Not escalate the arguments. It needs two to argue but only one to calm things down. Take a higher road and slowly work towards mutual separation.
     
  7. shobhamma

    shobhamma Gold IL'ite

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    You traveled when you had chicken pox?
     

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