worried about his new victim

As you mentioned,he and his family told crapped about you and already ruined your reputation.Now no matter what you tell the girl,it will go unheard.You wont get your due and its going to hurt you further.So,better you concerntrate on your life and stop bothering about him. Let him marry whoever he wants to.You now,must focus on how to rebuild your life.

 

If you do so.....

1. The girl might believe you and escape.
2. The girl might not believe you and tell your ex
3. Ex might hurt you or attack you or your loved ones (Yes they can badmouth, we cannot)......Heard of this?....No good deed goes unpunished.
4. Now you are feeling guilt for the girl.
5. Later you might feel guilt that you stopped a wedding.
6. He might look for yet another girl. You cannot keep stopping every alliance as he has decided to marry anyway.
7. You might look like a vindictive person
8. The girl's family had they been smart should have done some research and tried to find both the sides of the story and not blindly believed everything they say. It is basic common sense that each party will blame the other in a divorce.
9. It will have more weight if someone else warns the girl family instead of you.

Weigh all the options and then decide. Appreciate your heart going out for the other girl. You are a good person.

Edit: For the sake of clear conscience if you decide to warn her, try just once and dont go overboard. So plan your words and say it without any emotions, tears or bitterness...to make your one opportunity effective. A clear conscience is a good thing to have.

Be safe. Take care. God bless.

 

Hi,
Just because he ill treated u and bad mouthed about you , it does not mean that he will do the same thing with second wife.. Men behave differently with different women.. Later you might feel bad of him marrying another women..
I have seen one collegue (guy) who beat his ex wife, spoke badly and finally divorced her.. Right after 3 mons he married another women and keeping her really well. He realised his mistakes.. I see my ex to be happily married second time (by seeing FB pics with beautiful second one and stuff)
Do not take any step to warn her. It is her karma let her bear with it.

 

Why dont you drop an anonymous letter?I understand other's views and agree with them completely. But girls are naive and blindly follow parents' words (who either wash their hands off or are in a stage when they cannot do anything). It is the girl who has to face the consequences. I wouldnt want to be seen as advising the girl,but somewhere my heart would say just once if I had said it...so an anonymous letter,email,fb message...anything just to warn her.But you are not wrong to remain silent. Its not your duty to save her life. She should know what to do and what she is getting into.

 

Only one question from your thread title? Victim. Was he or his family abusing you physically?

If the answer is Yes, then I would suggest you to somehow get in contact with her and tell her your story with proof.

If the answer is No, then my suggestion would be "It's none of your business"

 

I agree with the previous posters.

You are kind and considerate.

Tell the girl something like, "Trust but verify". Leave it at that. Everyone has their own karma. How she reacts is her karma.

 

FB message is a good idea....you can say everything without interruption or having to listen to hurtful things. But word your letter carefully as it can be printed and shown to others.

Abuse is the same whether it is physical or emotional. Both are of equal severity. The person undergoing that is a victim. You were a victim and it does not matter whether you were physically abused or emotionally abused.

And it was definitely not your karma that you ended up with that man. Nor is it the karma of the next girl. It is a case of misjudgement and lack of thorough research about the character of the guy.

Abusive guys might treat another girl better.... atleast initially and FB photos are never a true indication of what goes on in real life. In most cases, it is a facade and keeping up appearances to rub it in other's faces.

Cheer up OP.

 

Dear OP,
Stop stalking your ex H . What is the need to peep into other people's life and create problems for yourself? Obviously in a divorce the other partner is always bad.
People change and try to tread carefully in second marriages so that it lasts.
If tomorrow you decide to marry and your Ex tries to 'save' the guy from your 'clutches' then how would you react?