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Working mom guilt

Discussion in 'Working Women' started by friendlygirl, Jul 8, 2013.

  1. friendlygirl

    friendlygirl Silver IL'ite

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    How do working moms handle working mom guilt phenomena? Please advise.
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2013
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  2. Chitravivek

    Chitravivek Platinum IL'ite

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    I am curious too. I get that off and on :)
     
  3. ramyav_cse

    ramyav_cse Gold IL'ite

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    My child has been at the daycare for the last 6 months and I should say it hurts me at the thought of it...he started when he was 1.5 yrs old and I spent everyday cursing my DH for asking me to go to work...now that hez 2, I am somewhat ok since he will anywayz need to go to school even if I was home(atleast for 4hrs/day)...he is also starting to adjust these days...poor thing doesnt have a choice...
     
  4. pathak2610

    pathak2610 Bronze IL'ite

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    When i saw this thread, i was quite sure it will be full of discussions n replies but i found only 3 replies.

    i am often hit hard by the guilt. for the first child i was ok working while handling home and child. but since i had another one 1.5 yrs back, i did not wantto go back to work and like above, i too hated my DH for making me go to work. it effected our relationship too.
    am so hit with guilt today and somehow dont know what to do to handle both kids nicely. i feel the elder one is going out of hand and there is very little that i can do. i'm out of the house for 12 hrs a day.
    cant leave job. and if i dont leave job the children are not taken care of properly.

    what to do. really troubled, depressed and low.
     
  5. ramyav_cse

    ramyav_cse Gold IL'ite

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    @pathak2610: I hear you! I am also out of home for 12 hrs/day but I managed to see how I can bridge both. I have two options in front of me now.
    1. Move closer to my work place which would save me an additional 2 hrs. My office is moving now and I will need to wait to see if that would work. Houses are little more expensive but will have to check if it would be worth it...
    2. Work only for 4 days a week. Luckily I will have that option for the next few months.

    We are waiting for our visa extension and if it goes through fine, I will opt for atleast one of the two.
     
  6. yamusarna

    yamusarna Silver IL'ite

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    Hi,
    I feel this guilt is very specific to us Indians where culturally we are the primary caretakers of the family.
    I have noticed that in European countries the parenting responsibilities and home care duties are equally shared among the spouses. That goes a long way in managing family and work and also to get a good work life balance.

    I see that the Indian mentalities relating to child care is changing, but we have a long way to go still.
    For the guilt part, I would only say, sisters we hear you:)
    However, there are options!!!!
    Having your own business, with a good professional support system is one option.
    I work with a lot of young mothers in my e-commerce project. I know a few ladies stretching while setting up their business, but in 12 to 18 months they are able to make more money than in their previous jobs and also spend time with their kids:) One have to give some to get some, I guess:)
     
  7. friendlygirl

    friendlygirl Silver IL'ite

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    Pathak - My situation is a little different. I actually like to go to work and as you can imagine, the kind of judgemental reaction i get when i tell this to people. the more i hear them say that it is not OK for a mom to go to work, I feel guilty. Once i come home i spend quality time with my son but still it is never enough.

    I think i should have stated my question correctly..how does a working mom who wants to work face the society and handle the situation where they are made to feel guillty for the chocies they made.
     

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