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Work In Progress Marriage

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by blackbeauty84, Nov 28, 2017.

  1. blackbeauty84

    blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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    I was and I’m a hopeless romantic. Like many women entering the married life, I dreamt of reading book together with my husband, him surprising me with gifts, packing our bags for unplanned vacation etc. But God had other plans for me. He paired me with a person who doesn’t read books, forgets anniversaries and doesn’t like much of surprises.


    As you can imagine the rest there were lot of fights and misunderstandings. I would send him I love you’s, poems in Whatsapp to be rewarded with no reply. When I get him surprise gifts say shirts or perfumes, he would say I would wear it on important occasions. My first birthday post wedding was a disaster. He didn’t wish me or gift me anything.


    Somehow we survived. In these three years of marriage I understood sky won’t come crashing down if he doesn’t gift me on birthday. He too understood that I’m expecting something on my birthday and bought me a cake last year, vast improvement from the first year. I tell him beforehand that it’s our anniversary next week and I’m expecting him to take me out for dinner. I continue to text him love poems without bothering for reply. Slowly we were reaching a middle ground. I thought soon our marriage state will turn as ‘Expectations met’


    A year back he went for a trip abroad and since that was close to my birthday I expected him to come with a bag full of gifts for me! He came back with only Dates and cashew nuts. Last week when he went abroad I asked him to get something for my personal use. Guess what he came back with…………….Frizz control conditioner.


    I think our marriage is still in Work in Progress mode.
     
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  2. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes, I suppose marriage is work in progress. When there are civic works like road building are in progress, there are road blocks. Marriage too is marked by roadblocks,
     
    sindmani likes this.
  3. Jeeves

    Jeeves Silver IL'ite

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    Aw!! I can relate to this !! But things changed a lot in a year...but " reading a book ?" A big NO !!
    So what..the road ahead is full of surprises and a clay road is as beautiful as a tar road!
    After all, it is love that matters ( and not demonstration..which i learned !!)
     
  4. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    PavithraS likes this.
  5. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    @blackbeauty84
    This is more or less everyone's story. I loved your positivity. Way to go!
     
    sindmani likes this.
  6. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    My husband also forgets my birthday, does not appreciate my gifts for our anniversary or his birthday. In fact he lost my first gift to him on his birthday. Now I don't expect much and I have become matured to accept that it is what he is , its not a big deal. I dreamt of surprise party or a surprise cake on our anniversary or At least planned dinner on that day. But I think iam not destined for those small happiness like a small surprise gift or small appreciation of my painting or my writing work (Iam translating few Indian proverbs(kind of) in English for kids. We r purely different personalities , I see everything as an art , he is more logical in thinking.
     
    hino likes this.
  7. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    Long back I read the following on a bill board in Pune-
    WE ARE HAPPILY MARRIED. SHE IS HAPPY AND I AM MARRIED.

    On a serious note. All marriages are work in progress. It is better to come out with a reasonably good finished product than rush to finish the product. IN any case from men's angle, it is difficult to understand women. This fellow took a leave to surprise his wife on her birthday and take her out on a picnic. She tells him, you wasted a leave? We could have gone on Sunday?
    Amen.
     
  8. blackbeauty84

    blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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    You are completely right!
     
  9. blackbeauty84

    blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks for stopping by Jeeves. It's almost 3+ years since we are married. We are making slow progress but yes it's still WIP. I'm an avid reader and he doesn't have interest in books.

    As you said I have seen love via different actions, but he is poor in expressions.
     
  10. blackbeauty84

    blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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    Read your blog! Very interesting read to compare married life with rail tracks.
     

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