Women are just sooo clever!!!!!

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by sharika, Jun 26, 2005.

  1. sharika

    sharika Senior IL'ite

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    ;-)
    Never try to outsmart a woman!
    There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his

    money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he
    died, he said to his wife, "When I die. I want you to take all my
    money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the
    afterlife with me."
    And so he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he
    died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him. Well, he
    died. He was stretched out in the casket; his wife was sitting there
    in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished
    the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to cl ose the
    casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!" She had a box with her;
    she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the
    undertakers locked the casket down, and the rolled it away. So her
    friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that
    money in there with your husband." The loyal wife replied, "Listen,
    I'm a Christian, I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was
    going to put that money in that casket with him." "You mean to tell
    me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?
    "I sure did" said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my
    account and wrote him a cheque. If he can cash it, he can spend it."


    Women Are Smarter Than Men
    Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father died, Charles
    decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. Going to a singles' bar,
    he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away. "I'm just an
    ordinary man," he said, walking up to her, "but in just a week or two,
    my father will die and I'll inherit 20 million dollars." The woman
    went home with Charles, and the next day she became his stepmother!

    Understanding Women (A Man's Perspective)
    I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how
    you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the
    hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.


    Wife Vs Husband
    A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a
    word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them
    wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules,
    goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of
    yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

    Stupid And Beautiful
    A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so
    stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded,
    "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted
    to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

    The Beast

    Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel, and hubby was
    losing his temper. "Be careful," he said to his wife. "You will bring
    out the beast in me." So what?" his wife shot back. "Who's afraid of a
    mouse?"



    Coffee
    A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the
    coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get
    up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
    The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you
    should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
    coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in
    the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I
    can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the
    New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it
    indeed says.... "HEBREWS"
     
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  2. malar

    malar Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Sharika,

    Real good ones! Especially I liked this one...

    "God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
    God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"
     
  3. varalotti

    varalotti Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Very Amusing

    Dear Sharika,
    Not only we had a good laugh; but also started thinking. I fully agree with Malar that the best one was about beauty and stupidity. Its not just a joke but a very profound statement that all of us need to think upon.
    Looking forward to many such interesting things from you,
    sridhar
    varalotti
     
  4. gvart

    gvart Silver IL'ite

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    Re: Very Amusing

    Real good ones. Enjoyed a lot...
     

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