Woman's International Day

Every year we celebrate International Woman’s Day with great verve and enthusiasm. We have a bountiful of discounts offered right from beauty soaps, spas to women’s-only cruises, excursions – in fact we have the entire world at our feet, celebrating the occasion making us feel like pampered princesses. But pause for a moment and look at the hard realities we face every day. Does the same feeling of euphoria continue throughout our life?

The nagging doubt in everybody’s mind is whether the status of women has changed for the better or worse. Yes we have women in every sphere of life, breaking the glass ceiling, taking up jobs like flying planes to plying buses, trucks and taxis, battling endless discussions at board rooms of corporate sector to fighting enemies at border areas. Women excel in balancing successful careers with the fulfilment that comes with raising an affectionate family at home. Yet, the number of women who are harassed or abused is only increasing. Can any woman be happy in celebrating this one day, making her an international heroine for just one day? Why no serious thought given to improve a woman’s place in a society? Is this the way we want to continue?

In India there are scores of street corners which sport deities of divine Goddesses from Ma Durga to Mariamman, and colourful calendars depicting female Goddesses hung in every nook and corner, which people look up with great reverence. But in real life as long women are raped, burnt alive, treated worse than a doormat, with no respect, honour or dignity, there is no use in worshipping these idols!!

So what do women want in particular to make them happy? Basic respect for who she is and not an object to be stalked, preyed, intimidated, or possessed. "Don’t wear leggings", “Don’t wear tights", “Don’t go to pubs", “Don’t mix with your male friends”,”Don’t put makeup", “Don’t cause attention seeking", “Don’t come home late night” – the list of dont's suppresses a woman throughout her life making her unable to enjoy the freedom that a man can in the society.

While health issues and priority for education is relegated to the background, it is marriage which takes precedence over education, particularly in rural parts of India. Women have no major say in issues concerning reproductive health, be it child bearing, abortion or family planning. She becomes a curse to the family if she doesn’t beget a male progeny or has to face worse situations when unable to conceive. Violence is a major issue, where many women still are reluctant to come out with the abuse – verbal, physical and mental, they face, due to familial and social boycotts.

Marriage or no marriage, there is no guarantee that a husband will be your life long protector. The best way a woman can protect herself against any calamities that may arise in her life is by empowering herself with good education, secured job, courage, confidence and strong will power. Job skills – be it tailoring, embroidery, mechanical skills, organic farming,bee keeping – can help her in the long run.

My mom, a 30 year old widow, had the best support coming from her MIL when she walked in to a company taking up a job on the 16th day of my father’s death, in spite of the raised eyebrows by the neighbors and hushed gossips. She worked till her 60th year and then retired, by which time we all received a decent education and my brother a good job.

My grandmother whose husband ran away soon after her marriage, was left with the burden of raising up a child with no financial or emotional support. But that feisty lady was not one to be bogged down by destiny, struggled all the way through her life, selling tea, stitching clothes, making snacks, any job which would earn her a decent amount of money – she toiled hard throughout her life to raise her only son and then her grandchildren – me and my brother. So what a better example can I quote on this day, other than this two extraordinary willed ladies, who carried on with their lives courageously irrespective of the destiny’s curse and societal nitpicking.