Wishing All my friends a Happy New Year

Wishing All my friends a Happy New Year


( My last b log was a flop, just 3 FB's, so i decided to take a break from indus for aq while. i posted this elsewhere on the first. But i got a phone call from an I lite just now, asking me where are my blogs, and so this blog is dedicated to her.Good to know someone remembers me and my blogs ).So here Goes


Dear Friend, wishing u all a very happy, healthy and prosperous new year. God bless u and yr families, and those that are unmarried, I wish them they get married in 12, so that they too stand in the line of fire, as we guys do.

Well my start to the new year was not too good. Caught a viral, a bad one, on the 29th, and so did my brother, so we cancelled the party at the terrace of my friends bunglow, with a bonfire, scotch, and the works.

So the 31st we both were at home, having a drink, this time I opened Gold label, I said I deserve it too, I never got to drink it ever, so why not today. Went off to sleep early, at 10/30, bcs I had to catch the early morning indigo flight 5/30 am for Mumbai. Harsha nephew is getting married, they had come a few days back.

Got up at 3, made tea, called the cab, left at 4 am, biting cold, reached at 4/30, and I was a bit overweight, there were two counters open, and I stood in the counter where a pretty girl was behind, the yare more considerate to me. I wished her, and told her how come she is working on a new years eve, etc, this is not fair, and she smilied and said, sir part of our duty, all the while her eyes did not leavce mine, good that way, for she dismissed the extra luggage. A few kind words can save me a few hundred bucks eh ! And she was kind enough to even give me an aisle seat , in the emergency section, which for me is as good as business class ! What a few kind words can do really.

By 5 am we were inside the flight, and still half an hour left for the foight to take off, pilots door was open, he was sitting and we could see the control panels. 3 minutes before take off, the pilot announces, tha the copilot is untraceable, , so they have called the reserve co pilot, and it may take a while, and he ultimately came after anb hour . And it seems the copilot had switched off his m obile phone too, maybe he must have celebrated the New Year with gusto, drank a lot more than allowed, so must have said to himself, buddy switch off the mobile and go to sleep, what is a one flight less eh !

They were not serving any hot beverages inside, I wonder why, for this time I was ready to pay for my tea and coffee, what to do sitting and whiling away our time, and strange there were no newspapers on flights, god knows what has happened this time. And with no pretty faces inside the air craft, it was one hell of a boring journey.

And with nothing to do in the flight, I started to think of what facilities I would like inside an aircraft which would entertain me, and I would be willing to pay for the services happily, and would not mind being on the aircraft even if hijacked to Khandahar ! For one, they can on payment of say 100 bucks give u internet access, 50 bucks for TV and earphones, 200 bucks for aisle seat preference, 200 for emergency seat preference, 100 for the food plate, renting out bestsellers to read, or having a pay movie , thosue who pay can watch the movie of their choice from the thousands listed.

For a passenger who is paying say 3000 or 4000 per ticket, what is another 500 bucks , which would include the internet, movies, seats of yr choice along with food, and soon u will see the airlines flush with money.

The word flush reminds me, China airways, a few years back , found out the using the loo and flusing closts millions of dollors in extra fuel, so they were thinking of telling the passengers to relive themselves at the airports, and in the craft, it would be like pay a dollor for every use of toilet.

This means we can export Sulabh concept there eh ! And collect all the manure, and sell it to the farmers for them to grow organic food , which then we humans will eat. What an idea Sirji !!! But then we could be having potatoes looking more chinky than rotund, me thinks. HAHA

And another thing made me laugh. The airlinmes used to spend a bomb, painting the aircraft in the mode of MF Hussain, tail of onme colour, the aircraft of another etc. But now since aerobridges have come to fashion, where we enter the aircraft straight away, the airlines are now painting the aircraft just plain white, saving on painting cost, as dark colours heat the aircraft and more fuel is need to cool it !!!

And what is wrong in selling alcholol on the airlines, if it is good for international travel, why not for local travel ? To make sure passengers don’t drink too much, and create a problem, just serve two 60 ml miniatures per adult, and then close the counter, and sell it at steep prices, the passengers like me are happy, so is the balancesheet of the airlines.Every drop helps eh !

And like the seventies, they should also have insurance stands at the airports, where for 100 bucks , u would get 10 lakhs if the flight crashes, over and above what the airlines would pay u otherwise. Since not many crash,that is net profit.

A cousin of mine in the seventies was going abroad first time, they were from the interiors of india. The father paid the insurance of 100/- and asked Dad when will he get the 10 lakhs, thinking it was a lottery.Dad had to tell him that only when the plane crashes and yr son dies will u get it. Poor rellow was crestfallen !

And he told his son, that don’t get off the plane, and don’t take out yr head from the aircraft window. Well he obeyed for sure, and he reached the destination safe and sound.

So all u guys, listen to the wise words of kamalji, and don’t try and open the aircraft window to peep out, take good care of your health, wealth don’t worry, u can send me yr cheques, I will take good care of yr money, u take care of your health !!!

Smile please.

KAMAL MAHTANI
Dear Team Anna,
I have enrolled my wife for your “ JAIL BHARO ANDOLAN”.
Where do I drop her, do let me know,
It’s URGENT !!!

 

Dear Satchi,

Wishing and yr family a very happy new year, and a helathy one at that.Yes i am having a grat time here, what with sonu nigam, sukhbir singh and abhijeet singing and enteratiai ng us, but no daru and nonveg as both sides are veg, so i make my own arrangments and get by.

Regards

kam al