Will You Mistake For This? Ur Opinions Pls...

Need further info to analyze this matter.

I am not sure whether you were invited for a casual visit to spend some quality time with your friend, or for a special event or for lunch/dinner party?

If I am the host, I would specify whether I plan to offer lunch or dinner to the visitors, and invite them accordingly. Such invites are called dinner parties, lunch parties, and the visitors have the reasonable right to expect a meal at my place.

However, if nothing is specifically mentioned, I would treat it as a casual visit for a chit chat. Usually we give tea/coffee and a small snack to the guest. That's more than enough.
Perhaps a glass of water if asked.

Besides, some families have completely different practices when it comes to hosting. So, it is important to limit our expectation to bare minimum to avoid disappointments and heartaches later.

My BIL's family used to eat dinner very early. For us 8-9PM is a fair time, concerning to the travel time etc... but for them, 7.30pm is the time for kitchen closure.
It would be really embarrassing and so boring to have dinner at their place after 8pm, since they would be already sleepy and moody.
So, now a days, if they call us for dinner, we make sure not to eat our snacks in the eve, and land at their place by 6-7PM.
Since we sleep very late (after 11pm), we grab something on our way to eat in any case we feel hungry later at night.

Our family friend is on the other hand a very late family. Their dinner time starts only after 10PM. So, if you go there by 8PM, they would chit chat with you constantly without the thought of offering you anything other than a cup of tea. For them, it is impossible to eat dinner before 10.
Reason being, their late lunch at 5PM.
So, we fill our stomach before we go to their place for any meals due to this time difference.

My cousin looks rude in that matter due to her extreme carelessness. She always cooks beef, and mix it with fried-rice or briyani whenever she invites us for a meal.
She often forgets the fact that my H is Hindu and he doesn't eat Beef.
She expects my H to eat the remaining without eating the beef, and she would instantly prepare some egg or chicken roast to complement. But my H doesn't touch anything that is mixed with beef. It is not the taste of beef, but his belief that restricting him from eating it. She doesn't sees that.
Other than this, she is a sweet heart for all.
So, my H doesn't stuck with this. He eats a full meal before going there, and enjoys only the special egg or chicken she makes for him. He would feel full, and happy this way.

Since there are different people, we don't stick to some standard expectation.

 

Hi @Naari
To not divert the subject matter of this thread I've posted my response here. Adda Da Hangout!

 

If it were me, i would ask for some water. That could remind the host that you could be hungry or thirsty. If I am close with the friend, which I am assuming that I am since I drove 5 hrs to meet her, then I would tell that we can order some food since I am feeling hungry after the long drive.

She is a bad host for sure. But don't read anything more than that from the current situation if you didn't drop hints about your hunger.

 

What is "to spend some good time"?
I am sure this is missing something in translation.
When somone sez...

" really... you must really come and hang-out with me sometime, we'd have a good time"
"why don't you come .... one of these days, so that we can chat face to face.."​

or something like that, it may mean a lot of things depending on how well the people know each other. It may even mean, "don't call me on the phone for these long chats, I am way too busy, but too polite to cut you off.... a long drive would do you good, and serve you right".

One time I explained the native wedding invitation to a local, forin friend. She was surprised that the invitation said, essentially, "bring yourself, your family, friends, and whomever you'd want", and asked for no RSVP for a headcount. She was amazed to know that there will be a lot of people at a wedding, and mealtimes would happen in several sorties. The kitchen staff would be able to adjust, and stretch out the available food to all comers. The quality of what is served may also slowly deteriorate. Those in the know, usually the close relatives and friends of the families involved, would naturally get the first dibs, and get the best stuff. Even though the invitation says "bring one, bring all", people don't bring all.

If a friend invites another, should the party of the 2nd part, go with the whole kith and caboodle? Perhaps, that could make a host serve coffee from the 3rd decoction to all the guests.

 

Below is my opinion....

To be honest, I really find it hard to believe such people exist...
Because, we use to prepare tea/coffee even to the electricians/plumbers if they had to work for more than an hour at our home.
When the friend invites home for having some "good time", it doesn't mean that she should not open a biscuit/chips/juice packet in front of you/or for you. It just takes 10 seconds to do all these. In fact no need to arrange order-wise in a plate!! Just opening the cover would do!
"I feel" Indians(regardless of which part they belong to) will never send any guest(be it even friend) with empty stomach....

But if I have got irritated like your friend (and yeah even I get mad when am hungry : D) I would tell her "Sorry dear! We need to start now! We are eating out! We have to eat and then reach home. Already we are slightly tired after 5 hours drive)"

She would have understood by then...If she really forgot to offer you food, she would at once provide you food( either by ordering or cooking)
Or if she doesn't have the habit of giving food to friends/guests, then she will happily pave way to the restaurant : P

Anyway! There is no need to get offended. Since your friend was hungry, she might have got upset and angry( even I would have gone mad) but there are many big things to worry about or get upset about.... These are just nothing....You can forgive her to save your inner peace ; )

Sometimes people are stupid but good at heart! : )