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Will You Keep Quiet If Your Husband Chats With A Far Related Cousin Sister Almost Everyday

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by SBRose, Mar 19, 2018.

Will you keep quiet if your husband chats with a far related cousin sister almost everyday

  1. Yes

    2 vote(s)
    9.5%
  2. No

    19 vote(s)
    90.5%
  1. SBRose

    SBRose Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks for pointing out Geeta, yes i am attracting bad things as i keep thinking about this all day ! Thoughts become things that is the law of universe. Thanks for the reminder. I will take my emotions away from this and focus on things that make me happy. Which is really really hard.
     
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  2. SBRose

    SBRose Bronze IL'ite

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    Thats how he is, he is always unpleasant when dealing with me and my son.
     
  3. SBRose

    SBRose Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks Ivani, you nailed it. He is doing this for his thrill and does not understand how much it affects the marriage. It is a serious trust issue. I keep asking how can you do this ? But he blames me that i am crooked, so thats why i am here seeking advice from all of you. He should not be sending selfies to her which really stupid.
     
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  4. SBRose

    SBRose Bronze IL'ite

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    Amazing Advice Sandycandy, you are right that its not a matter to let go, but it is causing so many nasty fights where he diverts the issue to many other things. i am already drowning and in a point of no return. the trust is broken.
    I have the screenshots with me and also sent to few of my friends to keep them safe. I have blocked her number on his phone after last night fight, if it gets unblocked again, i will follow your advise,
    But in the busy life its hard to keep on spying on him. Thats why i did not check past 3 months. When I checked his phone recently, i felt devastated.
    I don’t deserve this-i am asking God why i have to go through this hell..He is 50 years old and my son is in marriage age. Why he has to create problems like this ? I am not able to walk away from him - fearing my moms health issues might get worse & also thinking of my sons marriage. Will my life get better anyways ?
     
    Last edited: Mar 20, 2018
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  5. peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

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    Unless I see something blatantly fishy, I will not think much about him getting back in touch with an old friend/cousin/classmate etc.

    Facebook has enabled a lot of people to find long lost relatives and friends who occupy some little part of your brain and it is just nice to see where they are in life now and what's been going on with them. My husband has got back in touch with a few of his neighbors from over 25-30 years ago and is in touch regularly now, some guys and girls. Similarly, some guys I went to tuition with or was in another section at school etc., we got back in touch via facebook and are probably more chatty now than we were even in school!! Doesn't mean we are off cheating on each other. One of the guys I went to school with is an excellent singer and we got in touch via smule, and collaborate a lot. We sometimes sing very romantic songs in Smule and are sharing nuances of music we like with each other on whatsapp and facebook. This is our common interest. Now if my husband constantly started monitoring my phone activity or kept trying to find out if I was up to something, I would probably want to seem like I am giving him a hard time just to spite him. Could that be the case with your husband?
     
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  6. lavani

    lavani Silver IL'ite

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    i do not disagree with you . your point is totally correct. but i also hope you would agree that in any married life, after living a long time with your spouse, your GUT feelings about your spouse can tell a lot. When you are not hiding anything, your patterns are also not suspicious. like Chatting late night. Sharing personal photos.

    It is upto OP. She knows her situation better
     
  7. lavani

    lavani Silver IL'ite

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    Please note, blocking phone, taking screens will not do much. other than satisfy you inner self.

    How i see it, it is time you have to reduce your codependency. You have to let him to get him back. that means work on yourself.

    next if you really feel he is getting emotionally involved with her, you have to put your foot down . there is a reason why monogamous relationship is valued.

    i do not know what else to tell, such situations are very painful. it hurts a lot. may god give your inner peace to come out of this.
     
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  8. SBRose

    SBRose Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks Peartree, I understand the perspective of yours however this case is different.. the chats look like rekindling old flames. Also why sending selfies to another gender ?? Also why so nice to someone when being rude and aloof at home ? There is something fishy
     
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  9. SBRose

    SBRose Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks Ivani for your kind words
     
  10. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    wow. he is the crooked one. save all screenshots of the chats.
    tell him, you will send to his parents and siblings.
    next ,you will post in fb tagging him
     
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