Will This Marriage Work Anymore?

really very nice thoughts.. TOPAZ ....i totally disagree with sunshine's thoughts here......if u really love a person ....and tomorrow he becomes impotent due to accident or whatever reasons.... then will u leave him??? ..if yes..then sorry ur love is not a true love... PUT URSELF IN that situation ...if tomorrow u lose ur legs shd ur partner just dump u ?? ....is it just business ???..give n take???.. (btw ...if mutually the couple decides to seperate thats totally acceptable..its their choice )

 

@ToTheStars
If you are feeling overwhelmed by the responses or you have got the answer...you can ask for the thread to be closed any time you want . ( Just for information )

Wishing you the best and hope your life gets easier soon and you find happiness.

 

Dear OP

Life is hard...

Husband's impotency is not his mistake, it is his medical condition, which he has no control over.
Just like other serious health issues like cancer and heart problem.

One of my aunt almost lost her life in an attempt to save a stranger in the road. In that accident she had become infertile.
Knowing her condition, that stranger came forward to marry her eventually. He made sure no one knows his wife's infertility issues. In fact, my aunt knew it much later only.
They lived happily for sometimes, but after a few years aunt developed a condition, which caused her severe abdominal pain during IC.
Because of that, they had to abstain from IC forever.
They are in their mid 50s, and they look very happy and intimate like any other couple.
Only my parents and few close relatives know their case (and that's how I know it).

When I discussed about this couple with my H, and wondered how come they could like this closely without a sex life for years, my H said it is possible as long as the couple are honest and open about their needs, and willing to help each other with love.
I mean, there are ways to satisfy each other.

Having said this, if your H is impotent, then it is a condition that you need to live with should you opt to stay in this marriage.
But it doesn't mean you must completely starve from sex due to his impotency.
There are many ways, in which you could have satisfied yourself sexually with the corporation of your H.
If there is love, your H must understand your needs, and accept his inability to satisfy them. So, obviously he must have done something to ensure you lack nothing in this life with him.

1)This kind of corporation between couple make them stay together regardless of their inabilities in life.

2)When there is no such dedication and love, there is no point in living together.

1) If your marriage was similar to the former example (1) (regardless of his impotency, you guys lived your marriage both emotionally and sexually in a satisfactory manner), then your EMA with this Spanish guy is unacceptable.
Your H's hurt and disappointment here is agreeable.
No point in bringing his impotency here to justify your EMA here.
Just that, you can honestly seek his apology and see how time heals both of you from this disaster. Don't drag this matter any further with the people who don't matter to your life.

2) If your marriage was similar to the latter (2), and there is no consideration about your needs, then I can understand your relationship with that Spanish guy, though it is EMA.
When human emotions are overwhelmed, and when social norms are too much to break, obviously we find secret ways to satisfy our needs.
The damage is done.
You should have revealed your H's impotency if he wasn't considerate about you in life. This way, you guys should have amicably separated long back.
But, you are too late now. However late is better than never.
Take needful action to legally separate, and then be bold in choosing what you want in life.

 

Dear OP

Life is hard...

Husband's impotency is not his mistake, it is his medical condition, which he has no control over.
Just like other serious health issues like cancer and heart problem.

One of my aunt almost lost her life in an attempt to save a stranger in the road. In that accident she had become infertile.
Knowing her condition, that stranger came forward to marry her eventually. He made sure no one knows his wife's infertility issues. In fact, my aunt knew it much later only.
They lived happily for sometimes, but after a few years aunt developed a condition, which caused her severe abdominal pain during IC.
Because of that, they had to abstain from IC forever.
They are in their mid 50s, and they look very happy and intimate like any other couple.
Only my parents and few close relatives know their case (and that's how I know it).

When I discussed about this couple with my H, and wondered how come they could like this closely without a sex life for years, my H said it is possible as long as the couple are honest and open about their needs, and willing to help each other with love.
I mean, there are ways to satisfy each other.

Having said this, if your H is impotent, then it is a condition that you need to live with should you opt to stay in this marriage.
But it doesn't mean you must completely starve from sex due to his impotency.
There are many ways, in which you could have satisfied yourself sexually with the corporation of your H.
If there is love, your H must understand your needs, and accept his inability to satisfy them. So, obviously he must have done something to ensure you lack nothing in this life with him.

1)This kind of corporation between couple make them stay together regardless of their inabilities in life.

2)When there is no such dedication and love, there is no point in living together.

1) If your marriage was similar to the former example (1) (regardless of his impotency, you guys lived your marriage both emotionally and sexually in a satisfactory manner), then your EMA with this Spanish guy is unacceptable.
Your H's hurt and disappointment here is agreeable.
No point in bringing his impotency here to justify your EMA here.
Just that, you can honestly seek his apology and see how time heals both of you from this disaster. Don't drag this matter any further with the people who don't matter to your life.

2) If your marriage was similar to the latter (2), and there is no consideration about your needs, then I can understand your relationship with that Spanish guy, though it is EMA.
When human emotions are overwhelmed, and when social norms are too much to break, obviously we find secret ways to satisfy our needs.
The damage is done.
You should have revealed your H's impotency if he wasn't considerate about you in life. This way, you guys should have amicably separated long back.
But, you are too late now. However late is better than never.
Take needful action to legally separate, and then be bold in choosing what you want in life.