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Will I be able to hold a baby in my arms?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by apoorva1582, Feb 15, 2012.

  1. apoorva1582

    apoorva1582 New IL'ite

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    Hi all,

    I donno whether this is the relevant section or not.. i just want to let out my anguish that I am suffering right now..

    Yesterday evening, I suddenly developed severe cramps and was hospitalized. My doc confirmed to me that I am having a miscarriage..

    I never realized that I was pregnant again but now due to some complication, my body has started to reject the foetus that i had conceived.. I got released from hospital half hour ago with sever warning not to strain myself and be at bed..

    i donno whats happening to me.. just 7-8 months ago, god took away from me my near-term baby landing me with severe health complications.. now without me realising pregnant, i hav lost another one... my hubby is stone faced and is not really communicating with me now..

    when i was in hosptial he was asking how could u not realise that u r pregnant.. since our doc advised me not to have another baby immediately and i was having fairly normal periods till last month, i dint realise this..

    is it my mistake or is god trying to punish me?

    pls help..

    luv, apoorva
     
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  2. azalea

    azalea Silver IL'ite

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    How far along were you in both cases? Did you rest well after the first miscarriage?
     
  3. tanoshii

    tanoshii Platinum IL'ite

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    So sorry to hear that dear. Some things happen for no reason at all. Better times must be in store for both of you. I guess your husband is just as distressed as you are, maybe that is why the stone face. Give it time to heal for both of you and get good rest for now.
     
  4. cj1980

    cj1980 Gold IL'ite

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    Apoorva,

    I am very sorry for your loss. It is neither your fault nor is God out to get you. We may not know why we go through certain tough situations but there are always lessons hidden in such failures and disappointments. Don't give too much thought to what your DH said...am sure he said it out of frustration and is probably regretting it already. Take care of your health...take a break from TTC and build your marriage and make it stronger. I am sure you will get to hold your little one at the God-appointed time. As you wait, you have two choices: have a positive attitude or let yourself go into depression. I hope you will choose the former. I wish you all the best and pray for your physical, emotional, and spiritual recovery.
     
  5. sitharaj

    sitharaj Gold IL'ite

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    hey apoorvaa...

    i am so sorry to hear of all that has happened with you, but like tanooshi stated, some things happens and we never know why and sometimes for no reason or maybe we will know the reason later.

    it is for sure not your fault nor is it your husband's. Sometimes accidental pregnancies do happen and it is not one person to be blamed. I know its a tough phase but the more you accuse yourself, the more you are going to get yourself to believe that it is you; when the truth is- it isnt!!

    This is a traumatic phase for you and your husband so you should first help yourself come out of it; in the meantime your hubby will also realise the way things are. And slowly both of you could speak and sort things out. I wish you all the best and i am sure very soon things will be grand and all of this will be like a bad dream.

    Do take good care of yourself
     
  6. bukbuk

    bukbuk Silver IL'ite

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    Apoorva: hope you remember me. Am devastated to hear your bad news. How have things been between you, h and mil in the past weeks?

    It's only natural that you are feeling this low, after what you have been through. I wish there was a magic solution to give you, but unfortunately there's none. All I can say is that a miscarriage is no one's fault. I know a couple friends who went through a late loss like yours and lost the subsequent pregnancy in an early mc. On the third attempt, they went on to hold their babies in their arms. You will hold your baby too. You are one momma who truly deserves that.

    Just know that you are in my thoughts.
     
  7. abcdguy

    abcdguy Silver IL'ite

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    Apoorva,

    God is definitely not punishing you that is for sure. I think what this means is you need to be more prudent about seeing your doctor on a monthly basis to get pregnancy testing and checkup. Loosing a potential child is always hard, and its not an easy thing to get over. Moreover, I think you should really try to not 'stress' your body out right now. Rest up for several months, and when the Doctor gives you the go ahead, try again.

    I am sorry your Husband is not being as supportive at the moment. I am sure its hard on him as well. You just need to focus on yourself right now, and try to become the healthiest that you can be. Moreover, talk to your doctor about increasing both your chances of not only becoming pregnant but having a child.

    ABCDGUY


     
  8. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Aproova,
    Hugs to you !
    Its sad that you are having problems conceiving , hope that you are under a very good Doctors care.
    Its not your fault that you could not make out your pregnancy , it sometime happens .
    Please talk to your Doctor and take foolproof measures to prevent any further mishaps.Your husband should understand that this , hope he accompanies you for consultations.
    He should be more supportive as you are undergoing both mental and physical trauma.
    God is not trying to punish you, dont worry everything will be fine.
     
  9. omnam

    omnam Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Apoorva,

    Sorry for your loss. Its not your fault for the mis-hap. God will soon bless you a healthy kid.

    Now take care of yourself. Divert your full concentration on making yourself fit to get pregnant. Start doing special prayers for your health and progency. Talk to your DH abt the emotional support you expect from him.

    Dont worry. God will bless you kid very soon.
     
  10. rpm2

    rpm2 Senior IL'ite

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    Apoorva,

    At some point God gives us hints, it may not be the way we were expecting but still a hint from God. Please take this mis-carriage as a hint from God for your own good.

    I read your previous posts. Your husband and your MIL behaved very inhumanly when you were pregnant. The insecurities of your MIL can never be solved but it sure will make your life a disaster. You were in too much stress during your first pregnancy and you are still not fully recovered from the trauma of losing a baby. It will never be easy but loving support from your family would have helped you heal but in turn they are behaving like monsters. Why do you want to bring in a new life into this mess?

    Do you really think that life will be better when and after you have a child. Do you trust your husband and his mother to not drive you into the same stress you had before? Are you ready to take charge if the same stress starts at home?

    Please put yourself first. Take time to heal and connect with your husband. If he does not reciprocate then he is NOT worth all the pain and suffering. You need utmost care now and not criticism.

    Take care.
     
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