I can relate so much to this post except for the bullying.i have never bullied anyone and allowed everyone to bully me.not thick skinned.never gave back to people disrespectful of me. Mine is a love marriage.No help during difficult times from both sides. That disrespect came from people whom I regarded well in my heart.my family and my neighbors. It frustrated me a lot.It actually broke me and all my love/trust or whatever u call on them. I became negative.really didn't like any chores.i felt lonely.i loved only my kid. It took a toll on our family.havent come out of it fully.since I had to meet them everyday/weekly.cannot cut off completely from them. May be tht is what might be happening to ur wife. Basically those who grew up in a loveless environment (no emotional support or love from mom) and those who expected love from the MIL but didn't receive it ,their expectations shattered,faith on the relations and family shattered will surely face this. It's 100% true in case where there is no support from both families. Your wife is not a bad person.somewhere life happened and she really hates it except for the kids.money doesn't cut it.only love gets through.
greenchilli, Many are facing with the issue OP wife faced or you have faced. That doesn't mean that you take out that frustration and behave so bad in public with your spouse? so you didnt bully your husband but OP wife behaved crazy which is not safe environment. i have also gone thru same, no support from both side of family during my both the deliveries, my husband stayed for 2 days and went to office saying he will loose job. i have gone thru so much physically, but i never behaved like that. infact there are lot of women who are facing so many issues, problems in life. Being mentally strong makes one physically strong too. and the person will be able to behave with balance and take right decisions.
OP, Many have given suggestions, some saying your wife is healthy and dont have any issue psychologically. and some including me thinks she might have some kind of paranoia due to which she behaves that way. mainly the sentence "someone is spying on her" is the sign i felt. you analyze her behavior more, and talk to doctors counsellors and decide. here are few ppl i know. 1. my close cousin , she was all perfect and a good looking girl. she was very ambitious. her grandfather has psychological problem. she stayed alone in hostels so her parents also donno much and only got to know after marriage. she was highly suspicious on her husband, always taunt the guy with her suspicious nature. if he goes any where, about his job, if anyone comes home she will not like. she didnt like neighbors, didnt like her friends, she always said some complaint. she completely hated her inlaws and will never even talk to them...they asked like 100 times to talk but she would refuse saying small reasons. so after 2 yrs the husband couldnt take it anymore and gave divorce. we were all shocked, thought the inlaws and husband were bad. Then one of her her sibling started talking more with her and realized she has some delusional paranoia coz she told her sibling that ppl at her work spy on her, neighbors and some relatives spy on her. coz they all are very jealous etc, she used to talk rude and shout on own parents. when asked she used to say they are letting that bad neighbour come in house so they need this punishment. she used to shout when asked to show proofs, and when her sibling talked abt taking to psychologist she would divert. she would refuse to go out of cities saying too tired, she used to ask maids 100 questions and only stick to one maid even though she was bad. she will not trust new maids. Sibling met some ayurvedic and allopathic psychologists and also make her do yoga and meditation. they are trying their best to get her more treatment at this point. 2. my cousin brother, as i mentioned in earlier post. he has always been an anti social person. he never used to visit functions. recently we got to know, he thinks ppl spy on him, he logged complaints on neighbours and relatives etc. we told his wife to take him doctor, she is uneducated and thinks why he is not suspicious on his parents and siblings. why only on her family so she thinks he is trying to give her hard time. its normal for ppl to get small fights with neighbors, with tenants, so he also got some but that doesnt mean he log police complaints. he has done that for some 20 neighbors for small problems. i feel sad he is always locked inside house, goes to work and comes back home thats it. i wish his wife take him to doctor and help him get out of that issue. 3. close friend husband, i dont know much details abt his behavior. but he used to talk very sarcastic with friends, he will even scold small kids who goes to his house. he has 2 daughters so will allow only girls to play with his kids, he used to shout on like even 2 yr old boys if they play with his daughters. for small things in house he used to give horrible bad words to his wife infront of all friends. we all thought he is a worst person etc. recently came to know, she took him to therapy and medication and i couldnt believe he changed so much positive. he talks so nice with all of us and is a happy person. it seems she tried for years to take him to psychologist and he agreed finally. This is in US. he was diagnozed with bopolar disorder and depressions due to job loss. so if you decide to go2 doctor. as you are India you need to be careful that you dont go2 some counsellor or pshychologist for sake of money who may say your wife needs lot of treatment and she is in danger etc. first thru your friend circle or relatives go2 a known doctor. what ever be the specialization, then ask him to refer good psychiatrist( you may say for your best friend). if not search online for psychologists with good reviews.
There has been a lot of events after what I explained in the first post of this thread. A summary: Feb-Apr were insane: from locking all windows with chains and locks, closing all ventilations, not letting the kids out (even for vaccine or school), and not coming out of the house herself (even to buy milk), not letting her own sisters inside---all these citing she feels insecure and that someone is coming thru the window grills and damaging her clothes and leaving. I consulted a couple of psychologists followed by a visit to my area's All Woman Police Station. Discussion with the inspector and a psychiatrist ended up in the police and ambulance reaching my home. I got admitted her to a private psychiatric hospital here. My mom and sister took control of the kids at home. The psychiatrist confirmed that she is showing psychotic behavior and is suffering from Schizophrenia. She is undergoing the ECT procedure now.
Oh so sorry for the developments but good that you found out it was not her but her illness that caused everything. Speedy recovery to your wife and loads of strength to you and your kids @Karosh
While I'm sorry to hear this, I'm glad to see your wife is receding the help she deserves before she harmed herself or your children in any way. Be there for her, with proper treatment she will be alright. Praying for you and your family.
I think you should post this in your own thread, but I wanted to say I'm really sorry for your terrible loss. You and your husband are going through unimaginable torture - please try and open up to him. You are together in this, he will also need your support. Have you spoken to your doctor yet? Please don't suffer alone, your doctor can help directing you a grief counsellor. Praying you conceive again and have a beautiful baby soon.
Sorry To hear this. Read ur original post n u seriously Hav a lot of patience. I can't imagine anyone doin even one of it, gal or guy. But kudos to u for handling it d rite way n getting d help she needs. Can't blame a person who is sick for being sick. So she needs u n d whole family more than anythng now to make progress n recover from this. Our prayers r with u n ur family.
Op. I feel that your wife is having paranoid disorder( maybe ).sorry to say so. But definitely this is curable. Please see a counsoler as soon as possible. Doubts which are baseless is common for a person with paranoid. Good part is they are really soft natured but the balance won't be there in them. Hope she regains normalcy.