Wife's Weird Behavior

Rule out medical issues before marriage counselling. Some times a underlying medical issue and other emotional issues can flare up into toxic tantrums.
Better be safe than sorry. Keep a watch for triggers and also on her mood swings.
But she definitely needs medical attention and counselling. It is more than possessiveness or jealousy. Even depression and bipolar or other conditions can be hereditary (not always)
Forgiving and accepting in the name of destiny or i chose this and this is my funeral type attitude does not go well all the time. Wise up and take help before things take a wrong turn.

Go to your physician and talk and decide. Counselling alone may not be the stand alone solution.

 

OP
did she start this behaviour recently or was she like this from the beginning? im asking because she called you a thief for a missing 500 rupee note in 2011. that was your older thread. even that seemed odd to me. if she was all fine and this started suddenly then probably post partum depression.. how is she with the kids? does she spank them or blame them ?

 

She is an adult. She should know how to handle circumstances. If she is lonely, SHE must find friends. If she is jealous about your relationship with her family, SHE should learn to be a better person. Who can blame her family if they like you more than her. Just look at her actions. Having said that, YOU are at fault too. You have gone overboard in trying to please her. Who does uthak baithak and walks with shreds of cloth, in public? It does not matter whether others know you or not, don't YOU know YOU? Where is your self respect?

If she is indeed developed a mental condition, get her evaluated and do what is required. If not for you, for your kids. They deserve stability. If she is acting simply because she can and you won't say anything, then SAY SOMETHING, again for your kids!

 

The parents and siblings knew about her behavioral issues even before the marriage. Have seen these types, medications will help, but she may need constant supervision under medications.

Social isolation is not a good thing. It will drive anyone insane. I am not an expert....
Better slowly take the kids away from her, eventually her vicious behavior will turn towards the kids since you stepped away. Act soon, before she turns violent. Looks like, your daughter can understand that her mom is not normal. Get help from her parents/sisters.

 

If she is normal with kids, don't take them away from her. Her problem would get aggravated. She is jealous of you bcos you seem to be going on fine with everyone and even her relatives whereas on the other hand she is a lonely bird. She feels you are very happy and she is the only one struggling. Is she not getting enough sleep,fresh air, good food, exercise. If you really want her to help her go out in the evenings for a walk with the kids. Spend weekends fully with her and kids.

Do you make phone call people in her absence. If yes, don't share with her or let her know the details . Keep it to yourself. If otherwise then put on speaker and let even her enjoy the conversation and make her feel wanted. If possible, encourage her to get into something that drifts her mind awayfrom you and kids, some enjoyable activity. Is she not looking good or put on weight after pregnancy, if yes then that could also be a reason for depression. Looks like postpartum depression to me which got escalated bcos of poor or bad approach in the beginning. Don't act too smart in frontof your neighbours. Make positive changes from your side and don't say things that upset her. Be careful with your words actions. Slowly you can bring her back to the old person she was. She needs to get some confidence from you. You shouldn't complain any her to anyone.

I hope she gets well soon.

 

Really?? Its a love marriage and not a blind marriage. Something triggered her bad behaviour. Instead of helping her out.. if he leaves her, no point in their marriage. I understand that kids are at stake. But the older can be sent to school+day care for 9-6 to minimize the effect on her and probably hire a full time nanny to give his wife some rest

 

Your wife definitely needs medical support. Take her to a counselor.In no time this anger will gets targeted towards your children and in my opinion the kids are not growing up in a positive environment with her.Can you bring her parents/sister to take care of the children while she takes the medical help.

On the other hand you have been bending to the back to please her and some percentage of fault lies in you too.

 

Yes take her to a counselor and in the meantime, grow a pair dude. Seriously. I am sorry, I am not being rude here.
You are enabling the behavior by putting up with this. She needs help and needs it fast. Am worried about your safety.

 

Dear Op,

when was the last time ur wife was social and mingled with friends neighbors or was fine having a maid at home.
Was she always like this during ur love courtship time?
You ignored her pshchological problem as tantrums jealous on u frustration etc.

Saying neighbors are spying on her
Not letting maids come home even after such a great need.
Saying that u made the restaurant guys shut door

These are all her problems where she may be thinking u are also part of spying and thinks u are harming her and trying to teach u punishment

Yes these are all part of symptoms
Have seen very closely few ppl in family with schizoprenia and delusional paranoia.

Before it gets worse take her to a psychologist. If she refuses u go meet few of them and ask for opinion
Some say its mandatory to bring her and some doctor might agree to give medicines.

Meanwhile u shud 100% force and keep a maid . Ask her reason of not letting in maids and why she doesnt talk to neighbora or her own siblings. If she talks abt spying ask details and show proof. Try to explain she needs doctors.

You may think she is all fine yea she is fine and most part of her brain is good so she doing all things normally just one part might got stressed and making her think this way ☺️, in her own delusional world where she thinks ppl try to spy and harm her and her hubby is getting in cooperation.