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Wife wants divorce - need advice

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by asterix23, Jan 7, 2012.

  1. IndianFunTube

    IndianFunTube New IL'ite

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    I'm wondering why you're even thinking about her anymore. She is frankly not worthy of your love. Just let her go. Why not find someone else to grow old with? Even if she agrees to return back to you, will you ever be able to trust her again? Throw a 'Good Riddance' party for your friends and move on in life.
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2012
    3 people like this.
  2. bhuvnidhi

    bhuvnidhi IL Hall of Fame

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    I am not sure what has happened between your wife and yourself.But reading your post , your wife seems to be so fickle minded and not worthy of anyone's love.She felt comfortable with you and married you and now she feels comfortable with someone else and wants to marry him.This is unacceptable.Where is the value for marriage?I know divorce is devastating for anyone.If you want to get her back , just give her a chance.Bring back your romance in life and let her know that you love her so much by your actions.

    Note : I hope there is nothing more to the story than taking her for granted.
     
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  3. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    Unless there is something more to the story your DW does seem to be fickle minded. Later on she may start liking a third guy !
    Such office romances blossom due to close proximity and daily interaction during the day.Maybe if they did not meet on a regular basis they would cool off.
    You can ask her or her buddy to change office , get a transfer and if after 6 months she still feels the same then she can apply for divorce.
    But by that time your feelings for her would also change and you may not be interested in the marriage.

    She felt betrayed because her secret was out and she is making you feel guilty for reading her SMSes !!
    This is the classic case of trying to put the blame on the loyal spouse .
    If the lady insists on a divorce then nothing can be done from your side.
     
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  4. aaral

    aaral Silver IL'ite

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    I remember a saying if someone loves you really let them go if they return they are forever your's if they dont then they never were. Marriage is between two people, when they both nurture it with water of love , fertilize it with respect and sunshine of trust . Only then will it bloom into a beautiful garden lasting till their twilight years. Hope your wife realizes the gem you are and both of you celebrate 25th anniversary. God bless.
     
  5. pretty84

    pretty84 New IL'ite

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    Fundamentally the girl is not of good character, and the boy too.. One who prefers others wife cannot be from a respectable family.. Leave her with that guy.. it is a good time for you to get divorce and get in to second marriage. You are not too old.

    Wait and see how that guy take care of her, their intimacy relationship cannot exist more than two months, the day will come and she will cry for her mistake by that time you should lead a peaceful life with your second wife.. for sure she will cry and run between post and pillar to seek remedy but she never can get it. Do you know what will happen when both of them get in to one house. The guy after a short period will start suspecting her!!!.

    Best wishes,
     
  6. orion80

    orion80 Platinum IL'ite

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    Such a fickle minded girl!! She is taking you for granted and doesnt understand the consequences of her actions. Probably those both deserve each other.

    I would suggest get her out of your life. After what all has happened, it is highly unlikely that your relationship will be the same again. This is not a movie where the married girl sees some guy, falls in love with him, walks out on the marriage and then comes back. The scars from this incident will go deep and it would take a huge effort from BOTH of you to make it work. From what you are saying about her, it is highly unlikely.
     
  7. mansimahi

    mansimahi Gold IL'ite

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    Insist on "absoloute No contact" with the other guy for atleast 3 months - and if she feels the same after 3 months then you can talk abt divorce/separation later. In all probability, she is just bored with the routine married life and has found the attention the other guy is giving her thrilling and exciting., and this feeling would be just a temporary insanity.,, and hopefully in few days she will come to her senses. Ask her to go on leave or change her job or both of you leave town or whatever - but she should have no contact with the guy - no sms, phone, meeting, chat nothing. Tell her she owes it to you atleast this much. Not only will this time give you a chance to rekindle the spark in your marriage - and also save her from making a grave mistake by throwing this marriage on just a whim.

    Good luck
     
  8. ivlakshmi

    ivlakshmi Platinum IL'ite

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    hi asterix,
    having emotional affair is different and having a physical is different..
    probably she is not emotionally compatible with u due to constant quarells.. probably she is missing some thing needed in relationship..
    try to tell her tht u can give wat she needs it..
    sometimes if hubby is not talking then some women try to find peace with others..i am not sure if u hav been giving her silent treatment.
     
  9. fencesitter

    fencesitter Platinum IL'ite

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    so she never really loved you? even if she changes her mind, are you sure about continuing in this marriage? for me, trust,respect,loyalty, are also imp in relation. First, think whether you want to continue in this marriage?
     
  10. SSC

    SSC Platinum IL'ite

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    In addition to whatever has been said already, I have another perspective too.. What if she feels she is not her righteous self anymore, and wants to get out.. Because its easier to break than work on a relationship!! It's going to be a huge uphill from here for her to win ur trust and heart back..
     

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