Why there's ALWAYS hope :) My Story

SunNaa · Sep 4, 2013

This is not a sob story. This is my story, based on what life has taught me.

When I read stories on IL and otherwise on how their life is finished because of a failed marriage or because of manipulative in-laws, I often wonder..Is it really that easy to give up on life? Should you really lose hope that easily?

When I was young, in standard 5th to be precise…I witnessed the death of my mausi [mom’s sister] …she died battling cancer…I was very young to understand the seriousness of the situation or what cancer exactly meant but I do remember being shocked and depressed by what was going around…

I knew my mom lost her elder brother to blood cancer when he was 21..mom would often tell me stories about how they used to have fun during their childhood…and I would always feel sad that I could never meet him…so now we have had 2 deaths in our family due to cancer…but no one was prepared for what was in store for us…

Few years passed…and my elder sister one day suddenly complained of tingling sensation in her legs..series of tests n MRIs confirmed that she had lymphoma of brain and spinal cord….she died with in 6 months…this was 2002 and I was in standard 12th then…I miss her every moment of my life and the loss is irreplaceable..…

That was death no. 3 to cancer…

In 2005…my another mausi [mom’s sister] was diagnosed of breast cancer…and as she was undergoing treatment…my younger brother started having mild fever in 2006…lots of tests and he was diagnosed of lymphpoma…. I lost my mausi in 2008 and my brother in 2009…my brother was only 16….

5 deaths due to cancer now

I can’t put it in words how much I miss them every day…my sister, my mausi’s, my brother…

My brother was such a lively child…full of life..I miss his smiling face, I miss the way he used to hug me.. I miss my didi…my best friend in whom I’d confide everything and who would protect me from everyone…My mausi’s who loved and pampered me a lot….

Few other things happened in between… in 2007, my mom was also diagnosed of cancer….cancer number 6 in family…she was treated but her cancer came back in 2010…she was again treated and was doing fine until now…

I got married and moved to US in 2011…while I was all set to join University for my masters..I was diagnosed of cancer early this year…cancer number 7 in family…and at the same time…mom again had a recurrence…her 3rd since 2007…

I gave up my plans of joining uni…got operated…but because of this family history the doctors here did some genetic testing…not the usual breast cancer gene BRCA 1 & 2 [that was negative for us] but they tested 40 other cancer related genes..

And finally we had an answer to all our questions…we found out that we have a rare genetic disorder called the Li Fraumeni Syndrome…one can read more about it here…basically we have mutation in one of the major tumor suppressing gene which makes us susceptible to different types of cancer throughout our life…only 400 families in the world are documented to have this syndrome...

So what do I do now? Cry? Be depressed because I can easily get another cancer? Live in constant fear? Should I stop living my life because of this? My answer to all this is a big NO

Here’s what life or rather cancer taught me

Stay strong: strength comes from within…when you are strong mentally, no one can scare you…no one or nothing can make you weak….

Positive attitude: having a positive attitude does wonders…when you face problems…you anyway do not have an option…you have to face them…the only option you have is to whether to have a positive or negative attitude…and believe me that makes all the difference…
When you are optimistic…you are surrounded by optimistic people and positive thoughts…

Never give up: Yes no matter what happens, never give up…for life is to be lived….face challenges with a smile…NEVER EVER GIVE UP

Never say “why me”: In spite of seeing a lot in life…I never say “Oh god..why me?”
Why you? Because it’s your DESTINY…you have to face it….this is your quota of problems in this life…FACE it…

Count your blessings: It’s easy to get depressed on every little thing…how about counting your blessings? Always treasure what you are blessed with…

I might have to deal with cancer but I am married to the most amazing man who really loves me to death…parents who would go to extents just to bring a smile on my face….and not to forget my wonderful in-laws who have loved and supported me throughout…. I am blessed to have such an amazing family..

The glass is half full or half empty? You choose…

The grass is NOT always greener on the other side: More often than you think, the grass is not greener on the other side. How do you know that others aren’t facing worse than what you are? Be happy with that you have.

You are stronger than you’d ever imagine: you think you are weak? Think again….all of us are strong….stronger than we’d ever imagine…never assume that you are weak

Self-Pity is not cool: constantly feeling sorry for yourself can be very bad for your physical and mental health. Never crib about why you have to face this….everyone has problems and everyone’s problem are the biggest for them….so face yours with all the courage.

Never let fear take over your life: because if you do so….you will lose your sanity….fear of what? Dying? Losing your job? Not getting good marks? Gaining weight? Live life the way you want to, no one can predict the future…so there should be no fear…

Celebrate: celebrate every little success, make every moment memorable…always celebrate birthdays and special occasions.

Live for the present: and live every day as if it’s your last….what would you do if this was your last day on earth? Probably laugh a lot, spend time with your loved ones, free your heart from all the grudges… Do that EVERYDAY…

Do what makes you happy: Life is short to be wasted in doing something you do not enjoy doing…Do what makes you HAPPY…Never give in into pressure…don’t do something just because the other person is doing so…

Yes that’s what I have learned from life…

Cancer took away a lot from me…but it could never take away my strength and courage and it will never be able to do so…

I am undergoing treatment right now...Yes the cancer might come back again due to my genes but I will again face it with utmost courage and positive attitude…

Love, Live, Laugh, Celebrate!

Stay happy!

Because there’s ALWAYS hope

anjanag · Sep 4, 2013

Manali - you are brave woman! Hang in there and may god bless you with all the good things in life. Take care!

sravanitenali · Sep 4, 2013

Dear Manali...

You are a great fighter!! May almighty be with you all through your life...

Sravani

Srama · Sep 4, 2013

SunNaa, dear! Do you know how stunned I am, running buddy? Hats off to your wonderful spirit. I want to say more but am speechless and cannot say another word other than hats off to your lovely spirit, hugs to you, you will always be in my prayers and certainly wish that you will be blessed with good health.

Yes, it is Live, Laugh and Celebrate and I am to lucky to have come to know you, however little that may be. Just went back to check your last running miles and I was in tears. Good luck and good health friend. May your strength and courage grow and may you continue to make that lovely difference.

anmolhai · Sep 4, 2013

What a fighting spirit!!! :bowdown I applaud you and wish you all the best in life. You are an inspiration for everyone :thumbsup

getstrngth · Sep 4, 2013

I salute to the brave woman! Real fighter.

arch1209 · Sep 4, 2013

More strength to you!!!

rkleena · Sep 4, 2013

Thanks for sharing your story. It helps us understand better and acknowledge tat we all have problems with various intensities spiralling around health, IL and wealth. And really not to think "WHY Me???"

Shanvy · Sep 4, 2013

Manali,

To be honest you are in my prayers, and have been for a few months now. since a close friend of mine had ALL and then i started reading on this Cancer, and then i knew some families are susceptible and about this gene.

Love, you have learnt to beat it, and you will keep sending it from your door, every time it dares to peep in.

Yes, many out here ask why me. Only the tough ones are tested to make them more stronger..

i send you more positive vibes, more healthy light and lots of Cheerfulness, adventure to celebrate.

Let us live every moment as a celebration of life.

I so agree, about some who cry for the simple things that turned wrong for them. i also hate people who tell you "You do so much good work, you help the needy, then why are you suffering.." One of my neighbours asked me this 10 days back when my son was undergoing a major surgery "You believe in god, you pray to him so much, you help in the orphanage, you ask others to pitch in, then why do you always have some issue or the other at home. you are always sick, last year your daughter almost died with dengue..and now your son.."

I told him "Uncle, who do you think has given me the strength to fight everything, to still walk on my own legs, run around to hospitals, take care of my kids alone..the one to whom i pray, the one whom i believe..if i walk, if i could take care of my son alone,(initially, until dh came down) it was because of the strength and courage he bestowed.."

There is hope, and that is the only thing that keeps you going. hope and faith are two things that keep you floating even at times when everything else makes you believe you are going to sink.

sorry for my sop story here..

but i agree with every thing that you have said. ..God bless...cheers