1. Have an Interesting Snippet to Share : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Why should I forgive when my pain is unbearable?

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by anugamit, Sep 13, 2013.

Page 1 of 2
  1. Sep 13, 2013 #1
    anugamit

    anugamit Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,987
    Likes Received:
    2,636
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Do we forgive the ones we hate very easily? Most of the answers will be NO. Because we think life is unfair to us. We think why do we have to suffer at the first place? The first thought that comes into our mind when we hate someone is “how to take revenge? How to make that person suffer the way we suffered? Forgiveness will be the remotest thought to come. But forgiveness gives us more long-term benefits than the brief episode of anger and hatred. A few points about forgiveness I want to list out that I found while googling.

    Forgiveness brings mental and physical well-being.

    Forgiveness is never impossible even in the worst of cases.

    Forgiveness relieves the unrest that can lead to physical issues.

    Forgiving reduces the stress that comes with thinking about the pain of things that cannot be undone.

    Forgiveness will also lessen the negative rumination (or deep contemplation) that leads to feelings of weakness, which in turn leads to the incapability of taking care of oneself.

    And a few points to discourage anger and hatred in us.

    1. Your hatred has no effect on your enemy, only your own soul.

    2. The best way of "getting back" at your enemies is to live a life of success.

    3. The second best way is to serve them, breaking the chain of anger.

    4. Find the positive aspects of the negative experience.

    5. Think of the people that have done you good.

    6. Look at the grand scheme of things.

    7. Be charitable.

    8. Balance confidence and wisdom.

    9. Stop telling other people about what happened.

    10. Pray for your enemies and for those that have hurt you.

    11. Put yourself in the malefactor’s shoes and try to understand why he did what he did.

    12. Always remember that even though people hurt each other, it is your job to forgive them.

    But life is not that easy that we easily forgive after the severe emotional damage done to us. To ignore is the second best thing that we can do leaving aside our ego – neither do good nor bad.

    Because at the end, nobody is perfect and everybody is imperfect. We do mistakes throughout our life; some can be repaired and some irreparable. But to fail to forgive is just as bad as hurting someone else. As we forgive, we are forgiven.

    So friends, even if we find forgiving the most impossible task for us, let us forgive.


    I am very much inspired by Viji aunty’s snippets. She does not know I read her snippets whenever I feel low. Some people like her make a remarkable change in our life unknowingly.
     
    anugamit, Sep 13, 2013
    anugamit, Sep 13, 2013
    #1
    15 people like this.
    Loading...

    Similar Threads
    1. Goahead

      Should you forgive your inlaws?

      Goahead, Jun 6, 2013, in forum: Relationship With In-Laws
      Replies:
      14
      Views:
      2,127
      DGcreative
      Jun 7, 2013
    2. coolgal123

      should i forgive my FIL?

      coolgal123, Feb 22, 2013, in forum: Relationship With In-Laws
      Replies:
      13
      Views:
      2,934
      coolgal123
      Feb 27, 2013
    3. smeera30

      Should i forgive and forget?

      smeera30, Aug 23, 2011, in forum: Relationship With In-Laws
      Replies:
      14
      Views:
      3,364
      Umlaut
      Aug 24, 2011
  2. Sep 13, 2013 #2
    iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    34,593
    Likes Received:
    28,760
    Trophy Points:
    640
    Gender:
    Female
    Anu dear good post and thanks for the thought provoking quotes

    "To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness." - Robert Muller
     
    iyerviji, Sep 13, 2013
    iyerviji, Sep 13, 2013
    #2
    2 people like this.
  3. Sep 13, 2013 #3
    Twinkel

    Twinkel Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,400
    Likes Received:
    2,917
    Trophy Points:
    285
    Gender:
    Female
    Hmmmm.... Thank you, much needed post at the right time for me. But it isnt easy to forgive and forget, spcly when mean things done by a trusted friend come as shockers and leave you hurt for life!!
     
    Twinkel, Sep 13, 2013
    Twinkel, Sep 13, 2013
    #3
    1 person likes this.
  4. Sep 13, 2013 #4
    Pallavi4me

    Pallavi4me Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,318
    Likes Received:
    4,539
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    anu,
    Very good post. Appreciate your time for sharing these thoughts.

    For me the concept is simple... No Forgiving & No Forgetting business ... I just let it go. It can be a situation or a person.

    My funda may not work for everyone. What I think is, who am I to forgive someone.. Forgiving is very big big word.. If someone does anything bad / hurt me, may be that was the best possible option they had at that time or they could not think of much better way to deal with it. Because, sometimes after doing something we realise there is a better way of dealing with it. I think in the same lines for others, may be they will realise at a later stage. But this line of thought doesn't mean that I accept the person / situation in future too. I would see, if it is beyond my tolerance and has negative effects on me.. I would let them go... or i myself will cut-off.

    But that never means I forget whatever happened.. my memory is strong. I never forget any minor incident too.. It just upto me whether I accept and learn to live with it or throw out of life. This works for me for not holding any grudges.
     
    Pallavi4me, Sep 13, 2013
    Pallavi4me, Sep 13, 2013
    #4
    2 people like this.
  5. Sep 13, 2013 #5
    mathira

    mathira IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    4,836
    Likes Received:
    1,064
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Female
    Right post @ the right time anu :) thanks for sharing this.. A much needed one for me right now..

    "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. Gandhiji".
     
    mathira, Sep 13, 2013
    mathira, Sep 13, 2013
    #5
    1 person likes this.
  6. Sep 13, 2013 #6
    anugamit

    anugamit Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,987
    Likes Received:
    2,636
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks dear Viji aunty.
     
    anugamit, Sep 13, 2013
    anugamit, Sep 13, 2013
    #6
  7. Sep 13, 2013 #7
    anugamit

    anugamit Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,987
    Likes Received:
    2,636
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Twinkel dear, I know it is not easy to forgive.....but at least we can ignore....what will you do when you cannot do anything to the person who hurts you?

    BTW, thanks for the FB. :)
     
    anugamit, Sep 13, 2013
    anugamit, Sep 13, 2013
    #7
    1 person likes this.
  8. Sep 13, 2013 #8
    Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    13,153
    Likes Received:
    5,818
    Trophy Points:
    545
    Gender:
    Male
    i agree with u where the ignoring part is concerned. i cut that person from my life, and dont bring his topic again , and i to dont wish good or bad to the person, the lord will decide his fate whichever way.For me he is dead.it has happened to me many a times, and i dont care later, once my mind is made up. i avouid that person likle plague. if some friends want to disturb me by bringing his topic , i tell them politely, dont talk of that person in front of me, or i will leave this room right away.They get the hint and henceforth keep quiet.And viji , yes she is a gem of a person.

    Regards

    kamal
     
    Kamalji, Sep 13, 2013
    Kamalji, Sep 13, 2013
    #8
    1 person likes this.
  9. Sep 13, 2013 #9
    attitudegirl

    attitudegirl Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    905
    Likes Received:
    1,336
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    More than forgiveness, I believe in forgetting that person. If someone wants to hurt me intentionally, is that person worth even two seconds of my thoughts. When I forget that person, it means automatically I have forgiven as well..

    Why would someone try to hurt me even if I am not wrong? Isnt it some malfunction in that other person's head to do such a thing. And why should I suffer for someone else' retardness. All i can do for such people is feel pity as to how much hatred and negativity they carry in their heads.

    If I think of revenge, wont it be my loss, carrying that negativity and vengence in my head??
    Though its not easy, but not impossible either.. if we put correct perspective in life, when someone tries to make us suffer, that means, that person is insecure and jealous of us.. that means, i have something special in me, which is making that other person insecure.. What can I do for such a person other than pray for their mental peace.. which they have lost due to me..

    Leaving things to GOD and moving ahead in life is the best solution..

    nice and thought provoking post, dear..:thumbsup
     
    attitudegirl, Sep 13, 2013
    attitudegirl, Sep 13, 2013
    #9
    1 person likes this.
  10. Sep 13, 2013 #10
    anugamit

    anugamit Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,987
    Likes Received:
    2,636
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Yes, Pallavi dear....Letting go is what you, me, and many others do. Forgiving is way to tough for normal people like us. :) My idea is just to start let go or forgive others for minor differences.

    And thanks for stopping by.
     
    anugamit, Sep 13, 2013
    anugamit, Sep 13, 2013
    #10
    1 person likes this.
Page 1 of 2

Share This Page