Why should i chnage my name????

I'm actually in a similar dilemma as you. I would want to change my last name(not legally) on my social networking sites, e-mails etc because I believe I have "accepted" my husband now and he has "accepted" me too. In my initial days of marriage, I was totally against this. It took me time to get "Settled" in the marriage and now I'm ok with this.
I don't have kids yet but I think it would b easier to have just one last name when kids arrive.

In your case, if you want to do it legally then you might hav to look up related rules/information. I do not want to do it legally because of the various hassles involved(jobs/immigration/passport/visa etc).
To satisfy your Husband, may be you can change your e-mail display name
P.S.: i did not read the whole thread, so some contents of my post might be repeated.

 

I am married for 14 yrs now. I still have my maiden name. I dint change it after marriage. I have 2 sons too. I have not experienced any difficulty coz of retaining my maiden name. The only thing i find odd now is : kids have my husbands surname, so somehow it seems like they all belong to one happy family and i am the odd one ! Otherwise for all practical purposes, there absolutely wont b a problem.

 

I just wanted to drop in a small idea that helps us women with the name change when we don't have a family surname.
I am from Chennai and we don't have a family name, we just put our dad's name next to our names. If I were to change it after I got married, unless I adopted my FIL's name, I still won't have the same surname as the rest of the family. And that would be awkward cos I'd be referred to as Mrs."FIL's Name".

My cousin started this at her place. Their daughters have been given the same surname as their dad and future generations will be known by that surname - the grandpa's first name that becomes the surname for everyone except her...cos again, it just sounds a bit weird when you are called like that. We too have decided on that. Our kids will have their grandpa's name as their surname and fortunately me retaining my maiden name has not been protested against.

 

Smart way out Tanoshii. :thumbsup No one can argue with that unless the issue is using your husband's name.

 

True..I made it a point in my own mom's place too when time comes for my brother to get married.
Of course the DIL will chose what name she keeps for herself and her children. But it does put a smile on the faces of people who otherwise seem upset by all of this.

 

Hi Seema,
I haven't bothered changing my name for the reason that my maiden name is on the passport and other important docs and had to travel in about 10 days after wedding. And so my visa was stamped in myh maiden name too. But still my husband has been very considerate and respects my likings. But, if your husband really wants you to and most importantly, if you decide to, Like Ananya suggested, add it in as a surname and keep your given surname as the middlename. You have so many examples for the same, thanks to Bollywood stars.

 

Changing name is one's choice. It is a headache as one needs to do lot of legal documentation but one should do it only if one is comfortable doing it. I am so much used to my name given by my parents and it is there everywhere in my documents that I don't wanna change it. My MIL had suggested once that I should change my surname but I refused it politely saying it involves legal formalities and is a big headache. I told her that I am a part of the house and keeping the same surname doesn't makes a difference. Now even when she doesn't like it, she didn't ask me to change my name again.

 

I think the issue that OP has is she does not want to give up her dad's name. It makes sense to me when she says that she does not want the caste tag to her name when all these yrs she was did not use her caste as her surname. I fully agree with you OP! I am of the same opinion. I am a Brahmin too but I have never liked people using their names to show they are Brahmins. In this age, it does not matter
I did change my name to add my husbands name but I have not oficially changed it it my passport. So though everybody knows me as Mrs So and so. My legal name is my maiden name - which is family name and father name. I dont intend to change it now. My DH did ask me once if I want to change but with the marriage cert it does not really matter. He has not brought up that topic after that.

 

Dear Dolphin,

Do only what you think is right. Why is this name changing thing not for the men folk?

I had started a similar discussion some time back. Do have a look.
http://www.indusladies.com/forums/groups/55-feminists-d133-taking-over-husband-s-name-after-marriage-compulsory.html

Just go by your conscience.
Best Wishes,
Shail