Why do Men have All the Fun ??

Ah ladies, awesome topic. Each and every word from all posts are absolutely true.

Deliverable deadline question- from BOSS, how much time you need to complete?

Sick child who can’t get in daycare or heart won’t agree to leave them in daycare. Question from Husband, how many vacations days left for you to take care of sick child. Or Okay you will be working from home right?:drowning

What’s the math here? :idontgetit: Why only mom has to WFH or take vacation days ?

When women are success in stepping husbands shoes on running each and every errand why not husband can take care of sick child. Oh wait might be we are the culprits here thinkingsmileyas we are taking too much responsibilities everywhere to on our shoulders. At work place in the guilty of taking more WFH or at home in the guilty of working mom/women. :bonk

Over stressed life, just trying to come out by starting paying 5 mins attention for myself when getting ready to office use proper cream on face for not looking terrible or using good perfumes or listening very good melodies of my choice :goodidea:

 

Dear bmaquarius,

Congrats on landing in FP for this write up and thanks goes to Satchitananda!

A wonderful introspection and going by the number who are agreeing with you, you have touched a very throbbing nerve of today's working and thinking woman!

I totally get you! No, I am not the working woman you mention, I am the mother of the bygone days!! Did not opt to work and stayed at home raising our two daughters. But then I have the advantage of seeing at close quarters what today's working woman, mother, homemaker's life looks like as both my daughters are that, which I am not!!

Which is better option? No luck there!! There is no better or worse! Life is as it should be at that moment of time. I could stay at home and I did. Then the birds flew the nest. I so wished I had not missed the boat and could don a suit and heels and click into my own office room with a window! But then I see the daughters who are often hassled as to how will they juggle their jobs, kids school schedules, who drives them to their next hobby be it tennis or dancing and how to provide a well balanced and organic and freshly made meals and how to go watch that latest show that everyone is raving about! BUT, they do it! I admire them and wish I could have danced like that too. But they in turn do look at me admirably for being the mom that I was.....

So what is better? Its each to her own! You just manage with your options!

L, Kamla

 

Well nice write up..

I being a woman enjoy the liberty of being at home whenever required ..While my DH cannot do that..Marriage is all about balancing...There are few compromises here and there ...I have compromised on my career and but not my Independence..By compromising on my career i mean i do work, but my career growth moves at a slow pace(Happy that its a Progress , and not just linear), shifting city, countries for the sake of tagging along with my DH, but at the end of the day its the contentment and peace of mind which matters to us..

I definitely see this generation is much far progressing wrt the prev generation..as long we move forward i call it a progress

 

Dear madam bmaquarius,
You have brought wonderful thought process.In my 73 years I have enjoyed the motherly hugs when I came back from school;I had been a working mother leaving my children at the care of mother-in-law and some helping maids.My daughter has left of her well paid job just to take care of her kids.She very often used to remark
" Amma ,you have experience of a working mother. You don't have the experience of being the child of a working mother"..Yes, she is correct. Normally we discuss the topic only in the angle of working mom and'sit at home mom' and how the husbands give their helping hand or not;whether men simply rejoice getting double salary, still doing nothing to help his earning wife.
Normally we don't take the children into account because they don't have an opinion, they don't know about financial problems etc.
World is changing.There is no use of lamenting over the 'sit at home moms' and how they enjoy their lives.( Go and ask them; they have a list of grievances;always working the montonous house holds, no chance to meet people and share ideas etc)

It's true — being a mom isn't a "job." A job is something you do for part of the day and then stop doing. You get a paycheck. You have unions and benefits and break rooms. I've had many jobs; it's nothing spectacular or mystical. I don't quite understand why we've elevated "the workforce" to this hallowed status. Where do we get our idea of it? The Communist Manifesto? Having a job is necessary for some — it is for me — but it isn't liberating or empowering. Whatever your job is — you are expendable. You are a number. You are a calculation. You are a servant. You can be replaced, and you will be replaced eventually.

If your mother quit her role as mother, entire lives would be turned upside down; society would suffer greatly. The ripples of that tragedy would be felt for generations. If she quit her job as a computer analyst, she'd be replaced in four days and nobody would care. Same goes for you and me. We have freedom and power in the home, not the office.
See what a husband has to say;

Yes, my wife is JUST a mother. JUST. She JUST brings forth life into the universe, and she JUST shapes and molds and raises those lives. She JUST manages, directs and maintains the workings of the household, while caring for children who JUST rely on her for everything. She JUST teaches our twins how to be human beings, and, as they grow, she will JUST train them in all things, from morals, to manners, to the ABC's, to hygiene, etc. She is JUST my spiritual foundation and the rock on which our family is built. She is JUST everything to everyone. And society would JUST fall apart at the seams if she, and her fellow moms, failed in any of the tasks I outlined.

Yes, she is just a mother. Which is sort of like looking at the sky and saying, "hey, it's justthe sun."

Finally, it's probably true that stay at home moms have some down time. People who work outside the home have down time, too. In fact, there are many, many jobs that consist primarily of down time, with little spurts of menial activity strewn throughout. In any case, I'm not looking to get into a fight about who is "busier." We seem to value our time so little, that we find our worth based on how little of it we have. In other words, we've idolized "being busy," and confused it with being "important." It is a fact none of us are as busy as we think we are; and however busy we actually are, it's more than we need to be.
We get a lot of things wrong in our culture
Old is gold, it is always said. When I was a eight year old, some 65 years ago, my elders said their olden days were gold. Today, my son, who is around 40, says, “old is gold.”
I always wonder why everyone's olden days are better than their present. Old music and songs were good. Old films were outstanding. Old clothings were of better quality. Old craftsmanship was worthier. Old silk sarees were good. In the olden days, food was of high standards. Old vessels and wares were of high quality.
Old teachers were excellent. Old schools were better centres of learning. Old furniture pieces were more appealing. Old houses were user-friendly, airy and well ventilated. Old friendships were more reliable.

Our world inexorably and inevitably changes, from decade to decade,
from generation to generation; no doubt about it.
By all serious accounts, we live in a much better time now.Our mothers/
grand mas with old style of cooking with firewood and manual grinding stone could not have dreamt about cooking within 30 mts.

However I would like to highlight one thing, the old (Past) which is very often referred to as very fine, was present at some point of time. Probably at that point of time people would have liked to change their present for better future. They must have cursed what we call ' good old days 'which were present at that time.

Probably we are doing same with present, present will be past tomorrow, then people of this generation may also write an article that present (which will be past in future) was good. I think we are repeating this cycle again and again. All we need to do is break the chain and learn to live in present.

As Kamla Madam has rightly said, no one could categorically decide which is good or bad.If we have a proper perspective, what we do have at present is to be accepted without complaint or lamentation.

Jayasala 42

 

Jayasala-ji is right. Olden times always seems easier/greater when viewed via nostalgia lens.

 

@bmaquarius,
Yes, very often we do introspect on the various roles women of today are playing and wonder whether all this has actually given women their due place in society and even on the home front. But I would say - it is more to do with the way an individual women feels and expects from herself and society. I have seen many women who are perfectly satisfied with letting the man earn/provide for family and happy with running the house by herself. They have clear bifurcated roles and manage well. At the same time,there are many (including myself) who wouldn't ever feel confident of having t0 depend financially on husband/ children. For such women, the satisfaction of self sufficiency would compensate for the hassles of a double role that they would be facing. So , to each their own, as long as they are happy and keep their relationships
happy.

 

I am a stay at home mum mostly because of my husband and overly clingy child,but now I am glad that he insisted that I stay at home. Like most of the girls in their 20s I was very ambitious and practical. I owned a business for a long time before my daughter. I never wanted be a stay at home mum. Staying at home for me was like loosing myself, there was no sense of accomplishment, I started to become depressed but then I started to realise that may be I am just whinging a lot. it could have been be very hard to manage home, work and a child with sleeping pattern of an owl. It think it's only our guilt which makes things worst for us. My husband was dead against for sending our daughter to a child care and to hire a nanny. My mil and mom were ready to help for looking after our daughter Incase I was determinant to work but it would not have been be unfair for them to run around a toddler in their late 50s. Now daughter has started going to school and I have become very comfortable as a stay at home mum. I do not think I will go back to work now. I love school pick ups and drops offs and then welcoming her with her favourite hot meal. I love it when there is no rush for anything. I feel blessed to be a stay at home mum and I am proud of it. Role of a stay at home mum has been under estimated. Although I do feel that women who work have it very hard. But staying at home just doesn't mean that you get to laze around all day. Your expectations from yourself become very high. For a sense of accomplishment I have started doing volunteer work at a hospital and an aged care one day each once in a week. That really changed me as a person. Doing service without getting paid has brought in huge satisfaction to me. I feel life holds diffrent gifts for each of us, the idea is to embrace them Gracefully. If you are working than instead of feeling guilty for your lack of time with family you need to feel happy that you are working for a reason. If you are a stay at home mum instead of getting depressed that you are missing on something one needs to enjoy every moment of it. There is so much to learn and do. One cannot have everything altogether in life, the key is to live a happy and content life with what ever life brings. I do not think men have it easy either. Jobs and work today are much more demanding than it was decades back. My husband does not have a luxury of visiting parents back home twice in a year during school holidays. They also have to learn and maintain a lot to stay in tune with their career. They also feel guilty of not being able to spend a quality time with children.