The Arabs are little scared to attach hooks on the roof of the apartments, because it will persuade Indians to hang themselves! This is a joke that I have heard many times here among Indians. But recently I felt it is true, after hearing news of many suicides, mostly done by Indians! Last week, an Indian man killed his wife and child and committed suicide bcos of his wife's affair with another man. An incident like this happened before months, a man killed his wife and four kids for no reason! And many other incidents are reported about Indians. There is no difference it is North/South Indians do. What do you think about this? What makes Indian's heart so soft but cruel to take such actions? Why Indians have less courage and strength of mind to face the realities of life? Have you ever thought about this? Please ILites share your views here.
A Thought to Ponder ! Dear Seena, You have raised a question which is capable of triggering every mind to think ! Well, There is no denial that we keep hearing of suicide news frequently in all the media's like TV, papers etc...Seena, I feel this is a global problem not just in India...In Gulf times, every day I see some or the other article of killing, suicide happening in UK too !, You've have posted a Universal Problem which has no solution and would be an ongoing issue! I feel, for Indians, its mostly the Insecurity aspect that drives a person to think of Suicide. If its not Insecurity then its issues like infidelity,frustration,pressures (emotional and financial) that arises out of different family/social situations. I don't think we indians fear to face the practical difficulties of our life. We are more courageous than anyone else in this world to face problems. Let me tell you, Suicide itself is a courageous thought and act ! I feel, It's not lack of confidence that drives a person to take such extreme steps, but lack of patience..We want life to always be like a bed of roses , getting everything at our doorstep, when we are subjected to difficult times, we expect the problems to be sorted out soon, when it does happen fast, it leads to irritation then to frustation and one after the other, then finally to extreme thought of ending life ! In most of the wife killing husband and commiting suicide or vice vers etc, you will see that mostly Illegitimate relationships are the rootcause for such incidents. If the husband love his wife and wife love her husband whole-heartedly and don't astray , these kinds of issues wont arise at all, If couple's cannot live together happily, they can atleast part happily and find their own ways instead of spoiling their name, life everything by getting into affairs which leads to such grotesque incidents later, not only the parents are affected due to this, but also the children, for no fault of theirs, they too become victims to their parents vengence against each other ! Another reason to suicide could be Pressure in life ! I read in papers recently that young tv artiste commited suicide because she was given a choice of acting or studying by her father, unable to withstand the existing limelight pressure and choice given to her, she ended up her life..she was so stupid to opt for suicide when she could have clearly prioritised either studies or acting for herself. Many tv serial artists in recent times have ended their life due to pressure from their industry as well as homefront ! For want of money these young ppl take up more than what they can handle that leads to mental wreckage and suicide finally ! To gain one you have to loose one ! but is it worth loosing your life to gain fame and money ?? sometimes even greedy parents are responsible for their children's pathetic decisions like this ! Everyone has problem in life, ending one's life won't make situations better....our life is worth only when we strive to live till the end....I feel its because due to the fast developing world, to meet up with the ever-growing social and econonimal demands, we are growing fast in terms of technology, money, living etc but deteriorating in fundamental aspects like patience, determinance, tolerance etc, which are most needed to keep oneself strong during tuff times...Its the lack of these qualities in us that makes us take adverse decisions in life ! Personally I hate to hear any stories of suicide, I have absolutely no sympathy for people who kill their life for whatever reason ! I see suiciders as those who are not capable of taking care of themselves and their problems.........Also, who has given us the authority to decide when we should die ? One should try to fully understand their purpose of their being in this earth and try to fulfil their purpose till the end of their life...we cannot stop the journey of our life in the middle ! It's better not to be born than to end our life abrupt ! Love, Preethi
Here are my two cents! Dear Shahana and Preethi, I am very happy that you are discussing such a serious problem with so much of maturity. There are several reasons for a suicide. Financial failure, illicit affair, getting caught in an illegal act all these things might drive a man to kill himself. Suicide is described as the bravest act of the worst possible coward on earth. But if you look deep into the problem (that is go searching for the root cause, why does the man have an affair or does something illegal etc) you will be surprised to find that he is in a job which he hates with all his heart. Being a job you hate they say is the worst stress producer. So we are back to the thread, Were Our Tears Real? regards, sridhar
Dear Shahana, I think Indians, commit suicide since the society places this pressure on them,.....if a girl loves a boy and if parents refuse , she commitss suicide, why because she is not let to follow her Dreams....(Sridhar , your point) And again i dont think any man commits suicide if he is not happy in his job, he will continue but creaqte hell for his family and maybe in the work place also. A man like Shahana has said in her post committed suicide after killing his family cos of the affair of his wife....maybe he had a basic problem himself and that could have been the reason the wife went seeking out, maybe that personal problem, made him insecure and of course it is ego also which prompts such men to do this drastic act...if not ,well why kill wife also ? Each situation in a suicide cases is different and will have different causes...so i dont think we can generalise....but my opinion, in case of indians it is social pressure...."what will others think", is a basic fear , that of acceptance by society , which prompts these acts so quickly. In other cultures, no one really bothers.....there is no expectations from anyone about anyone in a family or by friends....you have the right to lead your life as u want to. if husband wife realtionship is not good, they part and no one comments... I guess we need to learn a lot from other cultures too , about letting each individual live as he or she pleases to!
Varalotti, It sounds Unlikely..... Varalotti, We are back to square one, again ! Don't you think that comitting suicide for the reason you're not happy with your job is quite unrealistic ?? I am not convinced of this point, frankly speaking ! If a person doesn't like his or her job, I don't think they comtemplate suicide, rather quit that job and go searching for another (whether to their like or dislike, but certainly not suicide)!! I don't think our life is worth killing for a sake of a job...Commiting Suicide is due to much more than job dissatisfaction, that could be one of the reason (maybe minor) but not the major reason... Regards, Preethi
I was also thinking like that, Preethi! Yes Preethi. On the face of it sounds quite unlikely. People kill themselves because of so many other reasons like - an affair, financial trouble and several such things. I was also thinking like that. But you see more than 9 out of 10 people hate the job they are in. And they can't quit. Reason : mortgage, loans and family commitments. This produces such a violent conflict in the heart that the symptoms manifests in totally unexpected areas. Thanks to the Western idea of segregating work life and personal life, we have been fooled into thinking that the problems in job affect our work and career while our personal problems affect our personal lives. Suicide is normally due to some problems at the personal level. But a human being cannot be compartmentalised into neat departments. A person who is trapped in a job he hates normally abuses his family. His human relations skills get destroyed and he lands into many kinds of trouble. Especially when Indians go abroad to places like Gulf purely with a view of making money (this is to be contrasted with what Sudha said of her husband; he had a passion for the German language and German living) they land up in jobs that pay them the highest without considering the fact whether they like it or not. This very fact keeps their minds pretty fragile and any small aberration in the family or social front they go to the extreme. regards, Varalotti
Indians and suicide.. Hi Preethi, Sridhar and Sudha, Thanks for sharing your views. As Preethi said, committing suicide is a courageous act. Only cowards do it. I believe like you , the lack of qualities you mentioned , is the main reason. Our present society do not give value to such aspects. Sridhar's argument is true in some cases. Some men really hate the job they do. But the financial problems of family force them to continue with it. So they don't get enough support from family and do not have courage, to give it up. It mentally weaken them. If you check, you can understand , in Wayanadu(Kerala) many farmers have committed suicide because of the financial problems they had to face. Every week , could see the death of farmers. They had taken loan from the banks, about RS. 10000 to 25000 to do farming. But nature deceived them. Their death was a kind of absconding to escape confiscation. Some times I wonder how could I live happily hearing such news! Really it worries me , but don't know how to change things.. I completely agree with Sudha. Our culture do not give courage to our people. From when we were child , we used to hear the term "what will others think". Actually many of us do good because of this. But we have to accept some good lessons from other cultures also.
What others will think? Dear Seena, That i the main problem ith us here.. What will others think ,if we say this or if we do this?? How can you think of doing such a thing, it is against our family tradition. This came up when my daughter fell in love with a christian boy. From the first I knew about it. I wanted my daughter to be sure , so I didn't tell my husband also. After telling him, if it doesn't go through, then unnecessary problems. But I know , about my husband, if he thinks that it is good for ouer daughter he'll accept it. He was a bit upset when he came to know about it. What'll others say? they'll say that we spoilt our daughter and other things. She brought the boy home many times so that he and my husband could understand eachother well. The boy was such a nice person and the family was also nice only problem was that they were christians. Two years back the marriage took place in a church, we all were there, got them married off together. They are happy and staying here itself in chennai,near her inlaws' place. They come every now and then , and so we got another son in him. What we wanted was to see that our kids were happy and so did what had to be done. That's all. All of us have a peace of mind. Otherwise tension would have prevailed and noone would have been happy. Latha
I appreciate your outlook, Latha ! Latha, I really appreciate your outlook towards your daughter's wish and her life, by understanding her desire to marry someone outside ur religion, if all parents have a broad mind like you and your husband, there won't be any news about young girl/boy suicide due to love failure (mainly due to protest from family) or any incidents of unhappy married life with someone they don't really love... Love, Preethi
Very happy to hear from you Latha.. This is a great news for me Latha..I have never seen some one thinking like this..Many people who preaches idealism changes their mind when some thing like this happen to them... It is easy to preach but difficult to accept.. So you and your husband are special personalities especially in our society we could never see persons having such commendable thoughts..
