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Why Are People So Ungrateful? Am I Overreacting?

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by aratisajjan, Oct 9, 2019.

  1. KayKuyil

    KayKuyil Senior IL'ite

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    I think your response has proved my point.
     
  2. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    @aratisajjan,

    It looks like though she fit your criteria of being potentially good friend material - same state, housewife etc etc. However she took you more casually and you are miffed about it.

    An answer to the puzzle could be in where and how you met her. Meeting a person on social media is different from meeting through friends, colleagues or husbands coworkers etc.

    If you meet someone through someone you already know there is accountability and more likelihood of consequences for bad behavior. So people are more polite, reply in time, are accountable because if not, word will get back to their social circle. An acquaintance meeting on FB or Twitter has no such constraints. Accountability or not is completely optional!

    If you ask me you saw this person’s true colors and are well rid of her.
     
  3. Angela123

    Angela123 Silver IL'ite

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    I dont think OP ever said the lady was cunning or shrewd.
     
  4. Angela123

    Angela123 Silver IL'ite

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    I feel the same what OP feels. May be the friend had a lot of things going on, or not. May be she wanted to get that one spot left on the baking class to herself and she prioritized that to going to the class together with OP. however, that was not the first time. Anyway, to me she is not the person who might take enough efforts to be friends with OP and if I were in that situation, I would move on, just like OP did. So I honestly think OP's reaction is normal.

    I have seen my fair share of people like this
    - who never responds to call/texts. Or so late to respond to calls/texts and never have a good excuse or no excuse at all (shows me not appreciative of my time and energy). These people call when they need something and will not hear from them for years, until they need the next thing.

    - or get information or help from me to know about something and trying so hard to get ahead of me to get there (we 4 friend families planning for traveling to a spot for vacation, and discussed about it and decided to wait another day to finalize and had one of those families took off for vacation the same day to same spot, without telling us, but hey it is their choice and anyone can go there.)

    - then the people who smiles and talk to me like BFFs and try getting together with them, they are not interested.They would text me, call me, will happily talk to me when they see me. But invite to a (multiple) dinner fully cooked by me, they say, "nope, we are busy"!!

    However OP, there are gem of people, under these layers, somewhere who doesn't need an invitation, can catch up with you anytime or day, who will be there for you when you need them or not. Those are the people who deserve you. So keep trying and you will find your tribe. Making friends are hard, but it is fun hard, it shouldn't be like competitions IMHO.
     

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