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Whom To Complain About Myself ?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by BeautifulSmile, Jul 5, 2019.

  1. Ashi1515

    Ashi1515 Senior IL'ite

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    Hello dear, to calm your chattering mind, i would recommend breathing exercises and meditation. After just a few days of breathing exercises you will observe that your mind has quietened down. You might still get negative thoughts and emotions but you will becone aware of them and even when you have a weak moment you will be able to come out of it sooner. I would also recommend keeping a daily journal. Record objective observations regarding your thoughts and circumstances including if you had bad mood on empty stomach, when you were tired, or the events leading to it. This will help you recognize a pattern on whats going on, what's triggering your thoughts and moods and also give you an objectivity regarding what's going on. And then proceed to resolve them from here . Also, in another journal perhaps try recording all the positive things you have experienced. This will hell you to have good memories, reduce your cortisol levels and negative thoughts and will definitely relax you. Hope this helps you.
     
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  2. BeautifulSmile

    BeautifulSmile Bronze IL'ite

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    hahaha @Amica , I am reading you post like "Come friend , talk to me". Thank you! I am and I will. Thank you for making me comfortable. :worship2:
     
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  3. BeautifulSmile

    BeautifulSmile Bronze IL'ite

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    @Ashi1515 thanks for your details suggestion. I will start breathing exercises asap, I dont know how I forgot about it. Problem with me is: I dont know how to open up. I talk to my brain a lot, and I want to put it in words and type some where. I dont like someone to judge my husband/In laws/parents/Kids just from that point of view. I dont even like to read/hear anything negative about them. so most of the times I shut off by opening up in the forum or to friends.

    I am true believer of: "Everything resides in ME - HAPPINESS/SAD etc". Now the issue per my observation is: ME. If I am capable of letting things go easily, and dont be hooked to negative thoughts most of my issues are resolved. That's where I am not getting the control on myself.

    There is so much anger deep inside, so much love deep inside. Not sure how can I scoop out the bad stuff. I did face very difficult times in life and each person caused some good and some bad. I suffered badly during that time , later I accepted the people and moved on. but when I started anxiety medication, heart has become so hard and cant forgive anyone. Past is holding me very tight.

    One thing I tell myself everyday is: If I am not healthy mentally and physically, I am not going to teach any good to my kids and do my best to family. So All these suffering and everything only person aware is : ME.

    But I do bother my husband with this split personality :smash2:
     
  4. rachaputi

    rachaputi Platinum IL'ite

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    Write all your worries and frustration

    Do/listen whatever comforts you, irrespective of judgement

    Join in yoga and meditation classes. It WORKS..
     
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  5. Angela123

    Angela123 Silver IL'ite

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    I used to be like you!! But I had a lot of support from my husband in opening up. It was so harder than I imagined. When I started doing that I felt much better. For example, I would be mad or sad for something my husband said, and I used to keep that to myself. Then how much normal I am acting this resentment will come up later. He would ask me what is wrong and I will say nothing. Never say the reason. Initially I would just say only a word or two about it. like "i am angry or sad". But it was a start. I am still working on it, but you have to start somewhere:blush:!
    It helped me dealing with other people too. If someone's mean, I call them out it was mean. Sometimes I get the same feedback. It help me improve myself.

    TO let things go, look at a bigger picture. Does it matter two days from now? Do you care about it a month from today? Ask yourself is it worth fighting for?

    Breathing helps too!
     
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  6. winterhue

    winterhue Silver IL'ite

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    Your Husband being supportive is a great thing.

    I think all of us go through this in our life . The conflict of "should i let it go? or should i hold onto the resentment and treat people the same". I still have trouble forgiving my MIL and Husband for their behavioru from 6 years ago . I appeared to have moved on, but internally i have huge resentment for them. Finally, I decided to go for some meditation and self help classes (I went to inner engineering by Isha Yoga foundation) and it worked miracles for me.
     
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  7. deeparull

    deeparull Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi; Even i have faced these emotional turmoils.. having two minds and negative thoughts.; feeling low; upset for no reason etc.,
    Once i started maintaining a dairy and making notes i felt a major change. Meditation really helped me; there’s an app called headspace.. its really good for beginners. Start to think of all the good things you have; the happy moments you spent with your family nd friends.. is also a feel good factor. Also remember all the appreciations you have received and achievements you have made till date when you feel low. And as someone rightly pointed out think if this is going to matter in five years.. if not just move on.
    Easy to write about this but our dear hormones creates it’s imbalances and wins over us every month. ☺️
     
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  8. BhumiBabe

    BhumiBabe Platinum IL'ite

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    I think I can understand exactly how you feel. I too end up feeling a lot of anger towards myself - for not handling a situation better or people management, etc. Some of us are very good at collecting resentment towards ourselves, for our failures and mistakes.

    None of us are perfect. We are in this life, to learn, and I believe we are all just learning about ourselves and how to improve upon what we already know. Anyone can blame you about your actions and thoughts, and it might affect you, but none of those people live your life, so you are the best judge of yourself. Sometimes, we are prone to judge ourselves harshly, and this is when you need to act on some self-love and self-forgiveness.

    It will require introspection, and you will not like yourself, initially. But learning to love yourself unconditionally, and give yourself the chance to grow from your past and mistakes - that's the important thing.
     
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  9. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Take me along with you !
     
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  10. Desideer

    Desideer New IL'ite

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    Praying helps

     
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