Dear Friends... I just thought of discussing this matter with you all to get a better perspective about it... The above quoted lines were one of the very good responses for a thread in life without spouse sub forum, where the OP had several reasons for her divorce and MIL's interference were one major factor among them. This is not something that I want to discuss here, but just wanted to quote the line that preaches the reason for my entire post.. Pls do read... Basically if a marriage fails, the couples are blamed for.... No matter what, it is widely expected that the couple need to adjust/compromise and behave like a matured human being with a head above their shoulder. It is fair enough.. and understood. BUT...BUT...BUT... After reading this, whom to be blamed for such failures? Please drop your ideas>>> Case: A and B are sisters. Born and bred-up in a same family by the same people. Their physical looks and behaviour is also somewhat similar to each other. They work for private company and earn good salary. They are in their mid 20s and married to two different individuals from a very different family backgrounds. A, being an elder sister had a love marriage to her husband. Who is very caring, loving and supportive to her profession since the time they have met each other. But A's MIL doesnt like A and the love she shares with her husband. A's husband, being a very nice guy has a habit of pleasing everyone, that includes pleasing his mom, sisters, boss, co workers, A and her siblings/parents. This habit of his has been taken for granted by his own mother, hence he kept on pleasing her as she seems unsatisfied after his marriage. He was just unable to make a full stop nor say NO to his mother while she is going overboard. He either close his eyes and pretend as if there was nothing happened, or leave the place for sometimes to avoid further problems. This has given his mother a fair chance to walk over A's life and hence its in a big question mark. A's husband takes time to understand his mom's cunning moves, and needs more courage to speak up for his wife or kid - which he lacks... But he understands that something was not right and feels apology for everything. However, he neither promise to stand up for A nor stop his mom's future possible interference. But he feels sorry, pray to God, and punish his self for not being able to help his loving wife. He just can not go beyond his mom as he was brought up that way and it is not possible for him to say anything that could hurt her, hence he hurts his life and his wife's. Whereas B had an arranged marriage... B and her husband are sharing a normal life with no extra love/affection or issues. Most of the time B's husband failed to show love or take extra care of B while she was sick or during pregnancy, but it was his mom (B's MIL) who reminds him to care his wife. B's MIL lives far away from the couple and she knows nothing about B, but still she wants her son's life to be fruitful, hence she advises him to show extra love to his wife by all the possible ways. Initially B's husband was a careless/cold fellow when it comes to love matters, but afterwards, he became so romantic and loving. Here A and Hubby have lost all the love and affection that they shared due to the MIL and now in a process of separation, whereas B and Hubby have learnt to love each other with the help of her MIL. It is true that A's husband should be held responsible for the damage as he should have controlled his mom before, but how many of us have that emotional strength to face our mother's emotional dramas and fire at them after knowing that they will be damn hurt.?????? So, basically almost every man try to overlook their mother's tortures or take it as their destiny. Is there any man out here (may be your husband) who stood by their wife by proving that their mom was wrong (and even after all those emotional black mails). Who continued to keep vigilant and protective to their wives, and made clear that their moms cannot enter into their family affair anymore. For this, some men need to completely cut the ties with their FOOs too... I just wonder whether do we have such men out here, those made such miracles (at least according to me) to protect their wives and lives? Back to the case.... Here are we gonna blame A's husband for the damage or A's MIL? Is it like B's husband is a better husband than A's husband since B's life is more peaceful???? Or B is better than A since she is leading a happy life? How we are gonna view this??????