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Who Is Right , Who's Wrong? Siblings Rivalry

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by Vedhavalli, Aug 4, 2018.

  1. Greenbay

    Greenbay Gold IL'ite

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    Aren't you comparing apples with oranges? Your friend probably has no financial handicap to afford college counseling for her third child. Plus extravagant marriage expenses versus college counseling. Are they at par as far as expenses go?

    OP stated that the parents of 2 daughters didn't have the money or the flourishing business to afford as much as they did for older daughter. Their business is suffering currently.

    If they still were as affluent as before and yet they differentiate, then that would be unfair to the younger daughter and then the question of why they are not sticklers for doing things equally arises. But not in this case.

    What do you suggest? Taking a loan which they cannot repay if their business doesn't recover and suffer in retirement age to come across as stickler for doing things equally? Such callousness stumps me!
     
    SGBV likes this.
  2. parvathi1980

    parvathi1980 Platinum IL'ite

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    A lot is being written about values and aging parents and what not. Let me tell you one thing parents need to be fair to their kids. It's an unwritten rule.The younger sister has no choice but to compromise and accept whatever she gets. I think somewhere the elder daughter has been recipient of more than just heaps of jewellery. Maybe more affection from parents
     
  3. soulful

    soulful Platinum IL'ite

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    I think more than the money itself, it is the feeling that she has been treated unfair. I also doubt this is the first and only thing that DD2 has been short changed on. Perhaps this is a running theme in their lives and the marriage expense was the last straw.

    She is probably having trouble expressing how she feels and / or if she did express her feelings to her parents, they gave her some "rational" reasons, without acknowledging her grievances.

    Some children are very mature since their childhood,understand the needs of time and sacrifice. Other children, are pretty self-centered and do not give up on what they want. DD2 seems to be the former category - as proven by the fact that she was initially okay to spend less. DD1 seems to be the latter category. As time passes, all that suppressed feelings of being second best is causing her to lash out.

    My opinion is she just needs someone to hear her out and acknowledge the wrong. May she find peace
     
    parvathi1980 likes this.
  4. rachaputi

    rachaputi Platinum IL'ite

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    She might have married and settled by now I think.. old thread...
     

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