Who Is It At Fault ? Unhappy Married Life

I didntt mean he wasnt a good person.
I meant he clearly wasnt 'modern' nor 'independent'

 

OP : 'Writing on the wall' is a phrase clear indication,especially of failure or disaster.
Just a general phase , not specific to IL.

Since you are already married and have spent 4 years. You have to choose/decide if you want to work on this (if yes, for how long) or if you want an out.

Both are going to come with their own set of challenges... But only you can decide whats best for you

 

These feelings hurt but everyone feel like this at some point. You may be right but divorce is a very big decision. Can you do some more to understand your situation. Jut think about positives too of this marriage and then compare it with negative and find out whats more in your case. Also try to talk to your h about everything that come to your mind. Sometimes simple ccommunication can take away our big worries. If he lied to you then try to find out why he did so. More attachment is ddifficult to find in arranged marriages. I am in sixth year and started feeling some attachment only some time back. Earlier i was confused angry depressed of what kind of people are they. But slowly i made my space and let them understand what i want. Still there is lots of adjustment that i do which is not easy for everyone. I just want to say think many times before you take any final decision and please first calm down. One should never decide any major when he/she is angry.

 

The more you write, I feel that your MIL is a convenient scapegoat. The real problem is your relationship (or lack) with your husband.

Have you thought about going to counseling? By yourself? It might help you sort out your thoughts and gain some confidence. please don't read this as if there is something wrong with you. That is not the case. Our parents are from a different generation and cannot advise us on modern relationships. A counselor might give good insight on your situation and support if you decide that the marriage has no future. It is better to know this sooner than later.

I don't know what the problems in your marriage are, but only you can judge whether you can live with it or not. It's important to, at the least, like your spouse. You don't seem to show any signs of attraction or admiration. Is there any redeeming quality for your husband? And you mention that you don't think he's interested in you....

 

I think you have to make new id and cannot edit the name in this profile. Also you can delete posts within the time limit.
One more thing cant you see his love with all this. He buy gifts for you cook for you. These are the things that are very rare to find.

 

Hi Monika, you are absolutely correct in saying that the more you explain them the more they dislike us...

 

Get off social network and comparisons. Delete your fb account, stop browsing relationships forum unless it is something positive.

oh i believe education refines somebody and education does not guarantee good qualities or better human beings.if so we would not be having so many issues in this forum.

there are few types of posters in this forum..
one who genuinely wants help or third neutral perspective to understand tneir issues.

second please say I am suffering. validate and emphatise with me

the third already decides they want this solution and only look for somebody else to vocalise it. see even she thinks so

op, you have decided you will not be happy in this marriage. so i am not going to post much anymore.

all the best to you..

 

I don’t see an option to edit my post, if someone could please give directions.. will delete it